Parenting Instincts

parent_instinct @ 2008-07-31T21:09:00

2008-08-01T02:12:06Z

My 21 month old recently started grinding her teeth. Does anyone have any advice or ideas about this? The sound sends chills down my spine. I've tried offering her the binky when she starts grinding, but she'd rather chaw on her teeth. Its probably karma biting me in the ass for grinding my teeth my entire pregnancy. HELP!

intro post

2006-07-25T03:06:06Z

X posted to all my parenting communities

Hi! My name is Rachel and I am 21 yrs old. I have a bf and no babies yet but im really interested in learning all the tricks and rules and different ways of raising babies so that i dont make those mistakes when i do have children of my own.

I have been around babies all my life and have alot of experience! my bfs cousin has a baby (my adopted nephew) and right now he is 10 days old and back in the hospital (diarea, blood in urine, early stages of pink eye) and so obviously im stressing now. I will help raise this baby since the mom is a year younger than I am.

I hope this qualifies me to be a member of this community. I know several tricks that i have found to share if asked. Im just looking forward on learning about all the other ways of raising a baby and figuring out which one i want to follow or if i want to do a mix of them all!

www.mamarevolution.com/phpbb2/index.php

2006-06-18T18:56:03Z

Mamarevolution.com was started in early winter 2004 by four young mamas who needed a place where they belonged. Too young and alternative for babycenter and too old for the teen based online communities, they struck out to make a home for mamas who just didn’t fit in anywhere else. After a few nights of brainstorming and women sharing their talents, Mamarevolution.com was born.

Mamarevolution is a pro-choice, feminist community who seeks to support, encourage and educate young women and mothers from all backgrounds and cultures. Our goal is to provide the community and support that is so desperately needed as we fight for our rights as parents and women, and to defeat the social stereotypes that surround young or alternative parents.

While we promote breastfeeding and natural parenting, we recognize that each family is unique and has their own set of needs and customs. We respect and support all families and their allies in their quest to raise strong, positive and socially conscious children.

Stop Domestic Abuse

2005-03-30T07:30:36Z

First, I would like to apologize for disabling comments. The reason is that this banner links back to the entry where this banner originated, and there is a long essay there about my views on corporal punishment and child abuse, and I'd like to keep all discussion, comments, and questions in one place. Please understand that I do NOT consider corporal punishment and child abuse equivalent. But you can read about that in my journal, and comment there, too.

The main message I am spreading is this: Domestic violence goes on far too much unchecked. "Corporal punishment", quite often (although not always, obviously), are simply words used to disguise domestic violence. Please. Let's put a stop to this. The home should be a safe place. And spread the word.


Loving is not hurting.

crossposted everywhere.

"coporal punishy"

2005-03-05T04:41:49Z

Hi guys. First off, I have to admit that I am not a parent, but for 8 months out of the year I have to watch my neice. (Long story, will kindly spare you the details.) Anyway, I love my neice to death [explained later], but I will be honest and say that she is DEFINITELY the "b" word... you know, BRAT!
Her mother and I were not raised in the best enviroment, so I am slightly confused on what to do when she misbehaves... Lately i've instilled what I like to refer to as "the dunking punishment." Depending on the severity of her actions, she can get anywhere from 1 to 3 dunks (3 dunks being the most severe, obviously).
The dunking is just that, being dunked in a bathtub of water. I allow the water to be filled to right below the tub line (we have an old tub that doesn't have one of those safety drain thingies). She is 16 months old, and she is getting too big to be just laid in the tub. I have been holding her secure around the ankles and waist, and gently, but quickly, lowering her head into the water. She cries, of course, but that doesn't affect the number of dunkings she receives.
Lately things have been scary... today, she started chewing on Gram's tablecloth, and since Gram is dead and the cloth is sentimental, she received 2 dunks. She started coughing really bad after the first dunk, and the second dunk there were all these bubbles coming up around her face. I took her out and she just started choking! I was sooooo scared, and she has been crying ever since. I finally just let her cry her self to sleep (she's still crying right now), but i'm scared... Here's the thing, right after that, she wet herself (I know, she's barely 2 years old, but her mother insists on the euro-method where 15 months they should at least hold their selves until we put them on a special "wetting cloth") the pushiment agreed on in the dunking book (i'm writing) says that is punishble by 1 dunk.... Should I do it?

Thanks for helping an ol' guy out! LOL

Brian

Hello!

2005-02-22T21:01:45Z

Hi, I'm Katie...normally I'm quaintpassion BUT I created a journal for my "research" about all my (and my husband's) choices...we're due with our "first" at the beginning of June (I've had one miscarriage--that's why first is in quotations) and I'm LOVING looking things up instead of taking the "medical world's" word on everything.

I just "finished" the mass majority of my research on VACCINATIONS...if you're interested--you can look around (and/or add new information that I don't have--I'd love new and more insight if you have it)! All my entries so far are just about vaccinations...now I'm off to research about breastfeeding (exclusive, extended breastfeeding)...and other subjects in the future!

Nice to meet you, and I look forward to getting to know you and sharing with you guys! :)

parent_instinct @ 2005-02-03T16:26:00

2005-02-03T22:28:27Z

alright mamas and mamas-to-be!

i have a simple task for you..

in one of my womens studies classes.. we were talking about my pregnancy.. and one girl mentioned the fact that you learn all kinds of secrets when you become pregnant/have children. i told her it was much like joining a secret club!

now.. my question for you is what was the one thing you learned about yourself and the world around you upon becoming pregnant and giving birth?

thanks ladies!

xposted everywhere ;P

hey guys.

2005-01-18T21:20:15Z

oookay. this is probably going to be a little weird, but i thought the "parenting instinct" community would be a good place to start with some of my questions. i'm not a parent, and i'm not planning on being one or anything, but i'm a 24-year-old adult child living at home with her parents, and i've been emotionally abused by my mother for the duration of my life thus far. i have a lot of concerns that i need to address, and i'm currently in therapy; however, my therapist has suggested that if i am interested in learning about parenting skills as they are today, that i should go ask some parents about what they think is the right thing to do.

my first question, then, is this: why do parents feel the need to embarrass their children? where does that come from? while my mother insisted that it was harmless fun, i was increasingly humiliated in front of friends and family as i grew up. i told mom how i felt about it, and asked her to stop, but she just continued, telling me i needed to "grow up" and "get over it." (this from the time i was 7 or 8 years old, even.) i still remember some of these incidents and will gladly clarify if need be. please consider commenting; i'd appreciate it. thank you.

weaning

2005-01-12T20:40:36Z

what do you do when your one year old won't drink out of anything? How can I wean? I did it exclusively for one year and now I want to slowly wean, but he won't let me. Who has the control here? It's ridiculous.

Hello, I'm new. I'm 21. I'm a student at DeVry. I don't know what else to say....he's a boy. Whatever.

A Question

2004-11-14T17:39:34Z

I'm curious, what do you think about a parent who takes his 3 year old kid to parties where ecstasy is being taken. I've been following amply_abundante's arguments in badparent and it's been an interesting experience. Loads of people gave the dude a good jumping on. I was inclined to reserve judgement, coz I don't know what like his parties were, nor whether his friends were good people and so forth. I'm of the opinion you shouldn't judge a man (or a woman) until you walk a mile in their moccasins, dig?

Co-Sleeping Info

2004-05-14T12:39:47Z

Thought this was perfect to post here. :) Very good information.

I took this from the Women-Together site.

Ten Reasons to Sleep Next to Your Child at Night
by Jan Hunt

1.Family co-sleeping takes full advantage of the ease of breastfeeding, as there is no need to go to another room to get the child. A breastfeeding mother in a "family bed" can easily feed her child without having to wake fully, and can continue to get the important rest she needs. Thus co-sleeping encourages mothers to extend breastfeeding and all of its numerous benefits for a longer time.

2. According to sleep researcher James McKenna, co-sleeping increases the chances that a parent can successfully intervene to help prevent a death, whether that is due to a physiological condition or to a physical accident. He reminds parents that "co-sleeping gives the parent the best opportunity to hear the baby in crisis and to respond." He adds that "since protection from SIDS may be related to the frequency and duration of breastfeeding, and because babies breastfeed more when co-sleeping, this practice may help to protect some breastfeeding infants."1

3.Gaps in breathing are normal during the early months of infancy, and it is likely that the mother's breathing provides important cues to her infant, reminding him to take a breath following exhalation, preventing a SIDS situation from developing. Even if this reminder system fails, the mother is nearby to help by arousing the infant. A breastfeeding mother and baby tend to have coordinated sleeping and dreaming cycles, making her keenly sensitive to her baby. If she is sleeping close by, she will awaken if there her baby is having difficulty. But if the baby is alone, this type of life-saving intervention cannot take place.

4. Any nighttime danger to a child is reduced if there is an adult close by. Babies and children have perished in fires, have been sexually abused by visiting relatives, have been abducted from their bed, have been attacked by pets, have suffocated after vomiting, and have died or been injured in various ways which could have been prevented had a parent been nearby to help.

5. Suffocation is often listed as a danger of family co-sleeping. However, this is a real danger in only two situations: a young infant sleeping on a water-bed, thus unable to push himself up when needed, or a parent who is too intoxicated by alcohol or drugs to attend to a child's needs. Obviously, a child who is suffocating for any reason (such as a ribbon on sleepwear getting around her neck, vomiting during sleep, asthmatic attacks) is far more likely to rouse a parent who is sleeping nearby than one sleeping in a different room.

6. Family co-sleeping is often misunderstood as facilitating sexual abuse of children by a parent. However, the opposite is true. Parents who develop deep emotional bonds with their children by remaining close by and responsive at night, as well as during the day, are far less likely to turn to abusive behavior of any kind toward the children they love and cherish. Conversely, the fact that a child sleeps alone has never been adequate protection against a parent who intends sexual trespass, and may even make it easier for one parent to keep such activity secret from the other.

7. Shared sleep can further prevent child abuse by helping all family members to obtain the rest they need, especially if the child is breastfeeding. The child does not have to suffer needlessly or cry to bring his mother, and the mother can nurse half-asleep. The entire family awakes refreshed, with no lingering resentment toward the baby for having disturbed their sleep the night before. An exhausted parent is far more likely to abuse a child than a well-rested mother or father who has enjoyed the presence of a happily resting child through the night.

8. Crying is a signal provided by nature that is meant to disturb the parents to ensure that the baby receives the care he needs. But prolonged crying is stressful to all the family members. The sooner the baby's needs are met, the more rest the baby and the entire family can have, and the more energy they will have for the next day. A mother sleeping next to her baby can utilize the instinctive response a new mother has to her baby's first whimper, thus preventing the need for the hard crying that is so stressful to the baby and to all other members of the family.

9. A deeper sense of love and trust often develops between siblings who sleep near each other, lessening sibling rivalry during waking hours. Siblings who share the night as well as the day have a greater opportunity to build a deep and lasting relationship. Babies and children who are separated from other family members during the day (parents at work, siblings at school) can partially make up for these absences and reestablish important emotional bonds by spending time at night together, and by the delightful early morning family time that is otherwise often missed. Of course, home businesses and unschooling can minimize separations and deepen family bonds during the day, just as co-sleeping does at night.

10. Studies of adults in coma have shown that the presence of another person in the room significantly improves heart rate, heart rhythm, and blood pressure. It seems reasonable to assume that infants and children derive similar health benefits to having others in the same room with them.

A child who is cared for during the night as well as the day receives constant reassurance of love and support, instead of having to cope with feelings of fear, anger, and abandonment night after night. Children who have felt safe through the night as well as the day with a loving parent close by become adults who cope better with the inevitable stresses life brings. As John Holt put it so eloquently, having feelings of love and safety in early life, far from "spoiling" a child, is like "money in the bank": a fund of trust, self-esteem and inner security which the child can draw on throughout life's challenges.

parent_instinct @ 2004-05-03T14:32:00

2004-05-03T11:32:55Z

Hi there!

I’m a student in Psychology and Education at Penn State, trying to get some early information for a study-to-be. Right now, I’m just collecting data to get a feel for the kinds of answers I’ll get by using certain questions (so i can set up a good questionairre for the actual study) and anything you’d send to me would be totally confidential. I’ve set up a survey with some questions about reading motivation in your kids and your reading behaviors at home. If you have the time, I’d be thrilled to hear from you! Thank you so much!

PS: also, i'm sorry if this isn't allowed in this community, i wasn't certain - feel free to delete me if it's not allowed here.

Answer only what you feel comfortable answering. You can post answers on here as a comment, or are welcome to email them to me at mrw221@psu.edu. I really appreciate your willingness to donate some time to me – thank you! Also, it’d be really helpful, if you post your answers as a comment, if you could leave a contact-email address so i can get back to you if i have questions. Thanks again!

Questions about you:
Number of kids, ages of kids, sex of kids
            How avid a reader are you (books for yourself)?
Do you like to read (books for yourself)?
Do you keep many books around the house? (Kids books or grownup books?)

Questions about reading behavior with your child(ren):
If you have multiple kids, feel free to answer these questions differently for each child.
Do you read to your child?
How often? (about how many hours/week?)
What kinds of books?
When did you first being to read to your child?
At what age, ideally, do you feel parents should begin to read to their children?

Schooling
            Did/does your child attend a preschool or other group-daycare?
            How often do they read to the kids?
Are books prevalent and accessible (to the kids) in the facility?

If there are multiple kids in your house:
Can the older child read?
Does he/she read to the younger child(ren)? If yes, how often?

Your child’s reading motivation – again, feel free to answer differently for each child
            Does your child ask you to read him/her books? How often?
            Does he or she seem to enjoy reading with you?
            If not already reading, is he/she trying to learn? Interested in learning?
            If reading, does he/she enjoy reading by him/herself? How often does he/she read alone?

Another introduction

2004-04-26T16:13:24Z

I figured I might as well introduce myself, too. I'm Rachel. My daughter, Cheyenne, was born on February 5. She was 5lbs, 13oz when born, though at her two-month checkup she weighed 9lbs, 4oz. She's the cutest little thing, though she's very bossy. She likes to watch TV and help me on the computer (she's sitting on my lap right now). On top of that, I think she's teething.
I have to admit, though, I tried co-sleeping and it just wasn't for me. (More like it wasn't for her Daddy - he woke up every time she made a noise) And I haven't been able to convince Daddy, or anyone else I go anywhere with for that matter, to let me use the sling instead of taking the stroller. They all have to push her. Any advice on that situation?
Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing how this community develops!

A little introduction

2004-04-26T15:29:21Z

Just thought I'd give a little introduction. My daugther is 5 weeks old, born on 3-19. She now weighs a little over 7 lbs. She was born at 5lbs. 14 oz and 19 in. long. She's wonderful. Her name is Caitlyn.

She is definitly the Princess around here. What she says goes--that means when she cries--we all go running (if we're away from her in the first place).

Kris
Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing mama to one little Princess.

Hi!

2004-04-23T21:41:41Z

My name is Jessica, I have a 4 week old named Sebastian who I breastfeed. I also co sleep with him and use my babywear :)

Some things just come naturally, luckily for me, being a Mommy was one of those.

:) Welcome to the community!!