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[11 Oct 2005|08:09pm] |
peace out.
fuck everyone.
people suck.
i have no friends.
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[18 Aug 2005|01:25pm] |
so for the past hour ive been looking
at old entries.
so much has changed over the past year.
its weird.
i miss two people that were very
important to me.i honestly dont know how
they feel about me or what they
think about me anymore.i dont talk to them
anymore.what a big change.i used to
talk to them everyday.now its like once
every couple of weeks, if that.
im satisfied with the group of friends
that i currently have, but i feel
incomplete.
miss them.
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[01 Aug 2005|09:56pm] |
so.when will i be happy?
because im not satisfied
with this feeling i have.
it sucks.
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| i need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves |
[05 Apr 2005|08:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 contentt |
] |
im so content with myself.
today was such a good day
i dont even know why
but i guess everything was going
how i wanted it to go.
perfect.
im trying to talk to him
as much as possible
im not trying to be annoying
well, i hope im not
i like him and maybee something will happen?
i dont know..
whatev
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[27 Jan 2005|07:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 in pain |
] |
jesse ekah 32: ahh i cant stop shivering
fele d 0 3 3: are you nervous?
fele d 0 3 3: ;-)
jesse ekah 32: yeahh!!
fele d 0 3 3: :-*
jesse ekah 32: oy vey:-$
jesse ekah 32: lol just kidding:-*
fele d 0 3 3: oh man
fele d 0 3 3: i thought maybe..i could be your alex and you could be my marissa :-[
jesse ekah 32: ohh
jesse ekah 32: are you gunna give me a necklace and take me to get my first tattoo?
fele d 0 3 3: well yeah duh
fele d 0 3 3: a tattoo of a black cock
fele d 0 3 3: right on your cheek
jesse ekah 32: niiice
jesse ekah 32: which one?
fele d 0 3 3: EITHER ;-)
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[23 Sep 2004|06:29pm] |
friends only.
comment to be added.
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[21 Sep 2004|08:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 lazy |
] |
well, the last two days have been hell actually three (saturday, sunday, and monday).so many problems with sean and myself.things are good now thank god :)
today was awesome.i was in a good mood, but there were moments when i wanted to cry.i still feel so bad for hurting him.if you could only see what happened last night.cry fest '04.lol.i cant lie anymore.well, i dont wanna talk about that anymore.but practice was good.got a lot done today.we tried one of the lifts we did on friday.worked on our dance.tomorrow we have a game in kingston.definitely not looking forward to that.i really dont want to go there especially on a school night its gay.but whatever ill get my hw done on the bus.AND YAY i got my cell back even thought its been in the same spot for 3 days.well, im out.
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[19 Sep 2004|09:56am] |
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am i still going out with him?who knows.i mess up everything.hung out with trever yesterday sean caught me in his car and all hell broke loose.why me?why the hell does god hate me?everything i do always gets worse.im tired of living this life.its horrible.im a fucking screw up and im tired of it.does anyone honestly know how much i love him?too much.i hurt him and myself.i couldnt sleep last night.i finally went to bed at like 430.he was on my mind the whole time.and when i finally went to sleep i have dreams about him forgiving me.im tired of hurting peoples feelings.and i cant think twice about anything.felecias right..maybe something could of happened?he had to be there for a reason.but whatever.im sorry sean.i really am.this is definitely the longest i havent smiled for.
im out.
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| biancas |
[18 Sep 2004|11:28am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cranky |
] |
ok so practice was alright.we learned a new dance and went over the other dance we learned a couple of days ago.we had our game.we won by a lot.after the game me, felecia, bianca, and diane waited for my mom to pick us up and we went to biancas.hung out walked around her neighborhood.went back inside ate.i had somewhat of a nice time there, but jennas right there was so much tension between all of us.whenever all of us hang out we cant stop laughing.but like there was so much attitude going around the room.and bianca was up our asses about everything we did."omg my rooms so messy." "thats not how you fix my mattress" "guys wake up you need to go to pop warner soon." it was like 930 when she woke us up.i didnt need to be woken up anyway.but jenna had her phone set at like what 10?so yeahh whatever.the only thing that i couldnt stop laughing about was all the condoms she had and how everyone was blowing them up.OH and how she pretended to be a security guard from our school.too funny.kasey took pictures soo..maybe well see them in her photobucket.well im out cause i smell like snausages haha.and i wanna go to sleep.
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[16 Sep 2004|11:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
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[15 Sep 2004|06:43pm] |
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im seriously sick and tired of crying over so much crap.im most likely not going to have a sweet 16 nor a car.which is fucking bullshit.ive been dreaming about having a sweet 16 since i was 10 when my mom actually had a real job.now shes fucking broke cant afford rent, food or anything and she tries to blame it all on me cause she cant trust me?ok so ive done two things in the past that i regret doing since i was young and i didnt think about the future.but that was 2 and 3 years ago.im gunna be 16 in a couple of months and i really want something big.at least throw me a party.you know?im definitely not trying to sound concieted or anything.ive been talking about this stuff a lot and when MY DAD asks me about it i get excited.cause it seems like im going to have one.but whatever.moms crying upstairs.im gunna go cry too since im such a bad kid.
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[11 Sep 2004|05:52pm] |
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well moms cool with everything now.im not in trouble anymore.then i thought to myself maybe sean would want to hang out.but hes hanging out with his friend.and i seriously thought hed want to hang out with me after all the shit i told him this morning.i mean im not trying to sound conceited or snotty, but i thought he was going to.yeah it was nice for him to come visit me this morning, but that was only for 10 minutes.i really dont like when he does that:/.i understand that he had to go somewhere, but im not talking about today im talking about all the time how he does that.i get caught up in the moment and then he decides to leave.ever since i told him something about me (which im not going to get into nor tell anyone) hes been acting strange.eh whatever.nothing to do tonight.i need a fucking drink.
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[11 Sep 2004|12:36pm] |
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i cant even take this shit anymore.everyone and everything is just so strange.i cant even explain.im seriously gonna go crazy.nothing is going the way i expected it to go.
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[11 Sep 2004|11:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 enthralled |
] |
yeahh.
not cool.
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[08 Sep 2004|08:05pm] |
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so monday was terrible.nothing to do that day.yesterday was an alright day.had cheerleading after school.then went to the orthodontist and went to taco bell.so i was satisfied.umm today was ehh..practice was cancelled due to the rain since every other sport took over our school and we didnt have a place to practice.so i went home.ate.then my brother came home from cooolege.talked a little showed me his new palm pilot.did my homework.ate dinner.and yeah here i am.pretty boring, but what are you gunna do.its so guady out..i hate it.why does it have to downpour?!ugh.im such a complainer.i need to stop.
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[03 Sep 2004|05:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
well, school was good.saw so many people who i havent seen since the last day of school.game yesterday we won, but we sucked.we didnt really have a hello cheer we made it up in 2 seconds.we looked like complete idiots.the other squad was amazing minus the fact that they sound like men when they cheer.but i just got the mail and my mom got something special from my grandma.here are some pictures i just took..
sexy mmm..lol
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mischievous