Apr2

*shakes off dust*

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Whew! What a break from blogging THAT was! It actually was completely unintentional, but no matter…I’m back!

I’m on a good track in my life right now…Working on the weight loss thing, feeling healthier and happier despite having a long ways to go. I’m actually looking forward to my workout this afternoon…THAT is a huge change in and of itself!

I’ve got a few different blog/writing projects going on at the moment; like I said…lots of changes! The biggest change I suppose is that I came out of the closet last year…did you guys know that? I don’t think so…Gosh…my last post was over a year ago! So yes, I came out as a lesbian to my friends and family, and now to my blog followers. I’m not a “shove it in your face” type of person but obviously with our country changing towards equality the way it is, I may post a thing or two about it. I’m a lot happier now that I came out, but I’m focusing on myself at the moment and not actively looking for a partner. Some people take that as not being serious (*cough* MOM *cough*), but I am, and I’m glad that the people I love support me. Just as I support them being straight. šŸ˜‰

Lots and lots have happened over the past year, and I’m really excited to be able to blog about them and get them off my chest. I’ll have to hop back on the computer after my workout and shower later. At the moment, I’m a little tied up, so I’ll have to finish my thoughts in a few hours.

Cheers!

Elysia

Mar16

Let’s help save the world!

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I, for one, was STUNNED to hear this morning that George Clooney was arrested while protesting the Sudanese Government. Not only is he one of my favorite actors (Oceans 11 is one of my FAVORITE movies EVER), but he’s been a long-time activist against dictators physically abusing and killing their citizens, and he’s been vocal about it.

To hear that he was arrested during one of these gatherings is not only plain RIDICULOUS but I’m beyond livid that it was here in the US.

When will people wake up and realize that we NEED influencial people like George Clooney to finally say that enough is enough?? Clooney met with Obama yesterday to discuss what we could be doing to get aid to people in Sudan (their government refuses aid, and they are starving their people, amongst other atrocities), and hopefully our government will do the right thing and organize help.

I would be more than willing to volunteer to package food and supplies in my community if I knew that the people of Sudan would actually receive it.

There are so many people that say “Why help other countries when people in America are struggling and could use your help??”

I DO help those people. I donate an amount from EACH PAYCHECK to local charities where I know my money is going to a good place to help my neighboors. But I think it’s time to look beyond just my country, and realize that there are people in the world suffering so much more than America; TEN and TWENTY TIMES MORE. We need to focus on bring peace in the world…not just our own back yard.

I’m so fired up about this that I can hardly stand it. I’m so tired of hearing innocent men, women, and children are starving or dying and we’re just sitting back and allowing it. NO. Never again. My heart won’t allow it. I can’t watch things like the Kony Video on Youtube, and continuing to read stories about Syria…It HAS TO STOP.

From here on out, I will try to post a link of places to donate to that are helping people in countries that are much less fortunate than the US. Today’s is a place in Nepal where a 28 year old girls has been taking in children that had been living with their parents in prison. They don’t have a lot of money. If you can, make a $1 donation, or whatever you can…The link is at the end of this article: Pulling Children Out of Nepal’s Prisons.Ā 

A huge THANK YOU and good luck to George Clooney in all of his efforts. I will be posting more about it soon.

Lots of love,

Elysia

Mar9

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Cruz2Lose's avatarweight4us

My 19 year-old son Scott and I sat down this morning to watch this much talked about viral video that was dubbed a ā€œmust seeā€. Ā Kony 2012

As we watched this powerful video, we were both moved to get involved and Ā feel compelled to urge others to do the same. Ā Please watch, please contribute in some way. Ā Together we CAN make a difference.

If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.

~Maya Angelou.

Much Love,
~Beth

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Mar7

Farewell, Facebook!

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As someone who is about to turn 22 soon (a month from tomorrow!), you would think I’d be currently on Facebook posting some random status about the awesome food I just ate or complaining about the weather, or something else fairly meaningless, right? WRONG!

I gave up Facebook.

*gasp*

I know, I know. It is completely shocking and appauling. How will I ever go on with my life? Truth is, Facebook drives me crazy. Or, I guess more precisely, what people post on Facebook drives me crazy.

In the world of Facebook, most “kids” my age post duck-faced pictures of themselves at crazy parties (that I wasn’t invited to) with a red solo cup in hand. While they are drinking and partying and being wild, I find I enjoy other things like reading, blogging, and having a relazing evening with a few good friends. Yes, you guessed it. I’m a hardcore INTROVERT.Ā And I like being that way. But, that’s kind of besides my point of all this…

I really started noticing how much drama and complete meaningless crap is posted on Facebook daily by my friends, and I’ve been guilty of it as well. While I greatly enjoy seeing my friends’ kids pictures, I hate not actually SEEING them. And while I love knowing that my friends are doing well, I hate that 98% of their statuses on Facebook are about something completely negative, or they are bashing someone that they should probably be having a conversation with about whatever issue is going on. What’s terrible, is I have definitely been guilty of this in the past.

An incident happened about a month ago that really started opening my eyes to how different I am now that Facebook exists. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago, and I changed my status on facebook and pretty much started whining and crying about it to no one inparticular. My best friend in the ENTIRE WORLD called me up a day later, wondering why she found out on Facebook that we had split, and why I hadn’t called her. I had a huge moment of “OMG What was I thinking?!”

But, it’s happening to me too. I foundĀ out of Facebook that a good friend of mine is married AND pregnant, and yet I haven’t recieved a single text or phone call. In my quite humble opinion, I feel like Facebook is ruining friendships…it’s taking away the “personal touch” of life…Calling your friend and being ridiculously excited that you’re getting married is apparently a thing of the past.

So, I’ve successfully been Facebook-free for two days now. Okay wait…I DID go on Facebook for 30 seconds yesterday to post two HILARIOUS pictures on my mom’s Facebook wall, but that was it. Otherwise, I haven’t been on there, and it feels pretty good. I feel like I’m kicking a bad habit.

So, along with realizing that my Facebook was full of people that apparently don’t care enough to call me and tell me they’re getting married, having kids, etc, I’m looking for some new friends. lol. There’s really nothing wrong with the friends I have now (well…there is, but that’s why we’re friends šŸ˜‰ ) but it would be really awesome to have more. It would be great to meet some more fantastic bloggers (although I’ve already met tons!) and maybe eventually I’ll come out of my introvert shell and go meet new people in my area. That’s quite a huge *maybe*. We’ll see!

Anyways, that seems to be it for my random-ramblings of the day. *thinks for a second* Yup, that’s all I got.

Cheers,

Elysia

Feb21

What color is Google?

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A friend came to me the other day with a few trivia questions for me to test how much I pay attention to the world that surrounds me. One really stuck in my head, because I see it every day, many times per day, and I still couldn’t answer it…

What colors belong to which letters of the Google logo?

I can pretty much bet you $10 that you can’t answer it without going to the Google homepage. I know I couldn’t. I tried and tried, and just couldn’t get the order right. But it also made me thing; how strange it is that I see this logo every single day, but I can’t really remember what it actually consists of. Let’s bring this to a more philosophical context…

Because of how awful I felt that I couldn’t guess that question correctly, I made it a point today to really pay attention to something in great detail that I see onĀ a daily basis. I tried to focus on what I really see on the drive to work, what’s on my desk at work…through it all, I couldn’t really believe how much I discovered that I normally didn’t pay attention to. It was actually eye opening, and it made me wonder if I’ve missed some incredible things in my life just because I wasn’t paying attention.

In a book I have called The Writer’s Idea Book, by Jack Heffron, he talks about focusing on in-depth detail, especially with writing about a specific place or person. I also think it helps on a daily level of really SEEING life and understanding it. Seeing a person walking down the street and really being able to see their emotions or to see the way the rain falls to the ground…it seems like stuff we all should know, but maybe don’t notice.

I suppose there isn’t really any reason for any of this…what does seeing a stranger’s emotions have to do with you? What does it matter how to rain falls? I guess I’m different in that way. I feel like being able to read people is a great tool in life, for so many different situations, and I feel like seeing nature and all it has is great for the artistic mind, or anyone seeking peace. When I need relaxation or time to regather my thoughts, I look outside, go to the beach (like my Ocean Shores trip with mom), or I put on some earthy music. I really feel the wind, or watch the grass, or look at the clouds in the sky. It brings me a sense of belonging to the world.

I know this was a very random post, but it’s nice to stray away from normal topics. I’ll post again soon!

xoxo

Elysia

Feb16

Finding the strength

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I am trying very hard to keep this blog and weight4us.wordpress.com separate as far as topics go, but what I want to talk about tonight applies to my weightloss journey, and I would like to share it with you…

I have been overweight for as long as I can remember. I went through elementary, middle, and high school being made fun of for my weight, and even went to college and heard a remark or two. For the longest time, I hated myself; I hated looking in the mirror, hated getting out of bed in the morning because I just didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to ignore it, make it *poof* and disappear. I dreamed many nights of just waking up to a skinny, more beautiful me. I got it into my head that skinny was beauty, because that is what others said.

For years, it’s been hard for me to find the strength in my heart to say “I can do something about this”, and really take charge of my weightloss. I had been beaten down so many times that it just felt like this was the way things were always going to be. It’s caused depression, but I just began to accept it for what it is; I’m fat, and that’s just me.

It *literally* wasn’t until last week that I really started digging deep inside myself and asking what I want out of my life. I just got out ofĀ a serious relationship, and things were just kind of shattered. I took a look around and said “Hey, I have all these pieces here. Should I put life together the way is was before him?” I thought about it for a day or so. What did I want to do? What did I want to change? What do I see in my future? When I thought about it, I knew what my answer was: I need change in my life. I need things to be different. I don’t want to go for another few years with depression andĀ allowing myself to get bigger and bigger. That’s not in my plan. That’s not how I’m going to put my pieces back together.

I found the strength this past week to say “NO!” and realize that I won’t continue down the same path agian. I’ve found the strength to look at myself in the mirror and say “You’re beautiful…and you can do this, Elysia.” I’ve found the strength to let go of all those negativeĀ comments I had heard my entire life, and remember the good things I have heard. Just on Valentine’s Day, one of my friends texted me and said “I wanted to tell you that you’re beautiful, and one of my best friends.” What I positive, amazing thing to hear. Ultimately, I’ve found the strength to love myself, and to heal myself of my insecurities and illnesses by restarting this weightloss journey with my mom.

I’m in this for the long haul, and I’m in it for myself.

Xoxo

Elysia

Feb15

Epic cake fail.

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Have you every been to a website called cakewrecks.com? It’s an absolutely hilarious site that has pictures of professional cakes gone totally wrong. While I’m definitely far from a professional, I had high hopes for my Valentine’s Day cake that I was making for my coworkers. It came out looking like it belonged on that website, and even in some Cake Wall of Shame. It was just…BAD.

My attempt at a Valentine's Day cake

This is the back side of it. First mistake?Ā Cake wasn’t nearly dense enough. I had plansĀ on using a recipe along with boxed cake mix to make it more dense, then I totally forgot about it, and well…it ended up all crumbly. Fondant turned out nicely for the most part, but ended up getting too dry and some pieces were breaking as I was trying to decorate, hense just the three hearts. Soooooo….I ended up leaving the cake here at home for the family to consume. I just couldn’t take it into work.

One of my next baking adventures will be with a friend of mine…we’re going to make St. Patty’s day goodies! That will be in about a week and a half, and I’ll be sure to post pictures. Although, I’m really thinking I want to try making something again soon. Maybe I won’t be a spazz and forget to make the cake correctly. šŸ™‚

Practice makes perfect, right? I’ll get there eventually. Live and learn!

xoxo

Elysia

Feb12

Leaving the Ocean

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I’m so sad to be leaving the ocean already. Two days just doesn’t seem like enough. Mom and I are in the car heading back, and it just feels too soon.

image

While we were here, we went into the Ocean Shores Bakery, and it struck me again that I want to open my own bakery. I imagine what it might look like, and how happy it would make me.

I keep telling myself that it will happen eventually. I will get there. It wont be this week, next month, or next year, but I will get there.

It’s been a great weekend with mom, and very revitalizing for me. Tomorrow is a new day, full of new possibilities, and new ways to reach my dreams.

Xoxo,
Elysia

Feb11

The hardest things in life teach the us greatest lessons.

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Even though the sun set about two hours ago, knowing the ocean is right outside my window definitely brings me comfort. It’s been a terribly long and emotionally rough week, and getting away for the weekend and escaping to the coastline was just what I needed.

Long story short, I broke up with my boyfriend. It was harder than I thought it would be, but the relationship simply couldn’t continue. I’m trying very hard not to dwell on it, so I’m not going to make this post all about him. After all, that’s probably what he would want, right? Don’t give the enemy attention? Yeah, something like that…

Anyways, so, I’m focusing on me. Right now, I’m having a wonderful glass (actually…it’s a hotel paper cup…not even a red solo cup…) of Three Olive Bubblegum flavored vodka, andĀ I’m enjoying a relaxing weekend at the ocean with my mom. Come Monday, I’m ready to face everything knowing that this breakup has made me stronger. It’s time for a few changes, and really time for some growing up.

I’ve made it a very clear goal to be back in school by Fall of 2013 to (finally!) study Culinary Arts at the local community college, and to specifically study to be a pastry chef. It’s *literally* all I can think about; how can I get the tuition in time? How long will it take? Where do I want to work when I graduate? I’m actually quite impatient that I’m waiting til 2013, but I know it will be much easier if I can have the time to save up money for it. It’s really all I have wanted to do since I was little, but I was driven away from it when I went to a math and science high school. This is something I truly can’t wait to start.

Next focus? Weight loss.Ā  I feel like I’ve sung this song before is so many different versions, but I’m determined to find the right notes to hit this time. Mom’s been juicing lately and it’s been working wonders for her. Her skin looks amazing, and she’s lost a ton of weight. Coupled with using the elliptical, and I’m really hoping to make huge strides in finally controlling my weight. If I’m completely honest with everyone, I have to admit I’ve gained too much weight lately. Moving out and being on my own made it so easy to buy cheap, terrible-for-you foods, and I completely regret the decision. I don’t know exactly what my routine will end up being, but I am turning to mom for help. As long as I can get it out of my head that this isn’t an overnight fix, and keep myself focused, I should be able to get into new, better habits soon.

Those are really the two biggest goals in my life right now, and I think it’s finally time I buckle down and get started. Being at the ocean the past two days has really given me time to reflect on what I want, and where I want to be, and this breakup really opened my eyes to what I could be doing with my life. At the age of 21, what better time than to be selfsih and really get to where I want to go. The grand openness of the ocean reminded me that there are endless possibilities.

Ocean Shores, 02-11-2012

Jan13

I never want to leave again.

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It’s hard to believe it’s been 11 months since the last time I posted on this particular blog. It’s also hard to believe how much has changed since then.

I have to say, I miss writing all the time. I don’t do it as much as I’d like to anymore, and I guess that’s just a consequence of being busy most of the time. Not to mention I was without a computer from August to December. That was a rough time. What’s even worse, is all my writings, music, and pictures are stuck on my old computer, and I can’t get them to my new one without physically removing the hard drives. I miss all my music the most…

I’m not sure what my goals are coming back to my blog…I feel very passionate about a few subjects that are currently in the news, most notably the “Occupy Wallstreet” movement, that I’d like to post thoughts about. I might even have a poem or two to post in the future (If I can ever get decent thoughts together for them šŸ˜› )

Mainly…I guess I just wanted to say I’m here again, and that I’ve missed this blog very much. You can also find me on my shared blog weight4us.wordpress.com, where you’ll find our progress on our weightloss journey.

Hope you guys (whoever still reads this…) have a wonderful and safe Friday the 13th šŸ™‚

xoxoxo

Elysia