This is how to use the site Many people still ask me for my “protocols.” The message I communicate for healing is that we are all different and our paths are also, therefore, going to be endlessly diverse. I share my experience, not so that it may be copied, but so that the reader can get a sense of process.
The more severe the trauma is the less the pop-culture trauma fad is resonant or safe. Be careful out there. A lot of so-called trauma therapists are grossly undertrained and frankly dangerous for the most sensitive and highly traumatized. (update 2026: This has become more of an issue as more and more of the helping professions jump on the trauma informed bandwagon. Unfortunately few people in these positions have truly done their own work. For the most vulnerable and traumatized, it's really a mine field out there)
When medicine and doctors almost kill you… Because, yeah, I was on death’s door for a long, long time. It can still feel traumatic to really think about that time and continues to be trauma inducing. I do hope we can help others avoid such a fate.
The dark wants more than anything to be LIT. Let us light up the world. ...
What happened to my brain and nervous system as a result of long-time psych drug use was that it's capacity to feel shrunk --literally. I'm now growing new capacities...encouraging new neuropathways and pruning less than ideal ones. I can feel this happening. Really. Anyone can do this given the right circumstances...support and resources are needed. This is why I do the work I do. We are hurting people with neurotoxic drugs that impede growth and healing. At best all they do is suppress and control. ...
Sometimes healing a brain injury really hurts very badly... *acutely* in fact ... I sometimes think of people healing from severe burns at those times... I imagine it sounds hard to conceive but I can feel neurons growing...my brain's higher functioning was shut down with potent drugs for two and a half decades. Sensitivity might just be considered altered interoception so that we might have the information to heal.
Our bodies are incredibly knowing animals that we've systematically learned to ignore, shut down and ultimately poison. Healing is about letting the wisdom of the body re-emerge. ... and "In a mad world, only the mad are sane." - Akira Kurosawa ... (reflections and links...click through for more)
I first read the book with this title (by Cheri Huber) many years ago now. I am now only scratching the surface of coming to understand just how much is RIGHT with me...right with all of us, should we only remember...should we only come to know what our human inheritance allows. I share this with love today.
The cycle breaker, the black sheep, the “mentally ill” and the unstable, the creative, the artist, and the mystic. The throw-aways and the odd balls in society have this calling. These days only some of us make it. The chronically ill, those who find themselves without homes, the imprisoned, those who use lots of substances to cope etc are all called to this path. The medicine people of our time need societies support. The fringe is where wisdom is formed.
By Robert Masters. When we no longer ostracize, condemn, or neglect our suffering, but invite it onto the dancefloor with us, we are on track, however stumbling or sloppy our steps may be. Then we are relating to, instead of from, our suffering; we are apart from yet not cut off from it. Then it’s no longer just another unpretty face, but something that we can communicate with, touch, penetrate, gaze into, bring closer....
For to fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise without really being wise, for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For no one knows whether death may not be the greatest good that can happen to man.”― Plato, Apology “Just as when we come into the world, when... Continue Reading →
I've collected several things I do to cope with the pain I experience as a result of long-term psychotropic drug use and the subsequent withdrawal pain I find myself in. Many people suffer from these pains upon withdrawal from many different psychiatric drugs and psychiatric drug classes so I thought I'd share how I cope. In most cases with most individuals the pain remits in time but that can take up to a few years in the worst case scenarios so we do need to have coping strategies in place while the time passes. This is by no means an exhaustive list of what might be done to cope with pain. Some of this pain is sometimes talked about as fibromyalgia. I don't personally find that diagnosis helpful as it's a garbage pail term, but the pain is very real.
We have been told over and over that the eight-hour sleep is ideal. But in many cases, our bodies have been telling us something else. Since our collective memory has been erased, anxiety about nighttime wakefulness has kept us up even longer, and our eight-hour sleep mandate may have made us more prone to stress. ...
No one should be told by another human being that their suffering is a gift. If someone comes to that conclusion about their own condition, that is fine, but it's insulting and invalidating to be told your suffering is a gift when it's devastating your life. Our culture tells us everyday that we should never feel angry or pained when something bad happens. We are also blamed and held responsible for illness.
When the Devil Knocks is the intimate story of a woman suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder. Hilary Stanton gave the filmmakers unlimited access to more than 40 hours of videotapes of her psychotherapy, filmed over 10 years. The therapy tapes reveal a cast of supporting characters, “alters”, who kept Hilary alive by taking over from her during times of crisis. As Hilary says, “For years, my alters went to therapy and I wasn’t there for more than five minutes.”
My dog decided all on her own to put on the headphones and sleep to music. Seriously she did this to herself!
When she showed up she interviewed me carefully about all my daily activities and asked detailed questions about how my body felt. She then laid me down on my bed and started moving me about. She told me symptoms and the way my body felt was very much like someone with severe MS. Yes, multiple sclerosis. She said she didn't care what caused my problem. I had to be treated like a baby who needed to learn how to use all their muscles again. She propped me up on pillows in a systematic fashion on my bed and had me do "exercises" that most people would scoff at. I cried with relief because she understood how sick I was. She understood I can hardly do anything at all and I really desperately need help so that I don't become a vegetable. She GOT IT. frankly, I get really, really scared sometime that if I atrophy away I won't be able to come back.
Shadow world -- new post https://monicacassani.com/2026/07/11/shadow-world/
So here is an interesting tidbit. I have multiple systemic infections (I got a Lyme diagnosis…) … weird thing is that the person I get on with the best has HIV. He found my published work on Lyme and Tardyve dyskinesia and contacted me because it was so resonant for him. He is a 25 year old man . Multiple systemic infections are what is happening to a lot of people. Only some of us get diagnosed but they can be as diverse as “HIV” and “Lyme.” Chronic Illness, Lyme, HIV -- endless manifestations: diagnosis not so important The real issue is that chronic illness, in general, is slowly killing millions but only some of us get diagnosed and treatment is pretty much shit when it’s complex and includes neuro issues. The diagnosis are pretty meaningless, as all those impacted have unique manifestations. It seems clearer and clearer that we’re dealing with systemic infections pretty much across the board with chronic illnesses of all kinds.
This is a listing of many of the posts that have aphorisms and slightly longer meanderings. Many of them were first conceived in conversations on the then Twitter platform. It is not exhaustive. With close to 6000 posts it's hard to organize the work.
“To be Christ oneself is the true following of Christ.” -- Carl G. Jung, The Red Book: Liber Novus Ha! I have the Red Book but I haven't read it word for word and I was not aware of this statement. For some years now I've been saying "we are the second coming of Christ".
I've been asking the question for many years: Who am I? Who am I without my work? Without my family? Without my sexuality? Without my home? Who am I without my country? Without the ground beneath my feet? Who am I without these varieties of identity that obscure the view? Identity obscures the view.
From my notes: Transformative Deconditioning - musings for the apocalypse Detox isn’t just about the psych drugs (or environmental toxins etc etc) it’s from our entire system and culture…it’s a long process…most people don’t really understand how deeply holistic and systemic the need for detoxification (de-conditioning) is… psych drugs for some of us are the straw that breaks the camels back… we have layers and layers to free ourselves from..drug freedom is just one piece of it and may come at anytime. We can do the work on or off these substances…
A collection of thoughts, aphorisms and brief prose filled with the reflections of a healing woman.
I did just about every elimination diet out there (over a period of 15 years). These thoughts come mostly from a few years ago as I started to eat more of everything again…I am still learning to eat well for this moment now. Food, diet and mindfulness all go together in my world. This is... Continue Reading →
When people are incapable of understanding nuance (grey areas, paradox, nonduality, whatever you want to call it) they are generally incapable of communicating on difficult topics. Generally anyone attached dogmatically to any particular belief have trouble opening to conflicting or even complimentary information. When one comes up against dogma in another it seems best to go silent and start listening carefully. Sometimes there is a way to re-engage and other times the best one can do is allow the moment while opening the heart as wide as possible. When one cannot be understood, when communication isn’t possible, argument is not helpful. ...
I want to share this old video: madness, diversity and inclusivity. It's general message is especially important now with all the division we are facing societally. If you're interested in more YouTube talks, please let me know.
There's still time to apply for Mad Camp in Northern California in July. Madcamp.net for all the information you need. Also: Apply here https://forms.gle/sUMwbJSR18qEeon5Ahttp://madcamp.net/SUBSCRIBE https://madcamp.substack.com/ Join us for a 5 day summer camp!Mad Camp 2023 and 2024 were absolute amazing smash successes! AND 2025!!! So YES let’s do it again everyone! July 16-20 2026! APPLY... Continue Reading →
