"puppy want a treat?" i say as i hand feed him melatonin

i hate thinking about all the missed opportunities caused by my rejection avoidance.

having adhd and bpd means i have very strong rsd, and i feel like i miss a lot trying to save myself from rejection, under the pretense of "if this doesnt work, its going to hurt so bad that the possible reward isnt worth the risk"

2026 is off to a great start

new sanders sides in the big '25 feels like a lost lover returning from the war

i am forever stuck in this fandom

everything i ever do will always end up being for nothing.

any hard work will be erased.

I hate when people acknowledge my feelings, I love so hard but when they mention it I panic, I feel weak. I don’t want people to know that I love them. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to love anyone, so when I do it just feels wrong.

I had a family once. I promise i did. And I promise I loved them. And I promise I’ll never have the guts to tell them that.

I hate detatchment.

Sometimes I get angry at people due to misunderstandings, and naturally I detatch from them when this happens, presumably my brains way of protecting me from getting hurt if they were to leave, like a sort of "I don't care if they hate me because I don't need them". But then when things are cleared up, it feels like I can't feel anything for them anymore, like the bond stays gone for extended periods of time.

HOE WHAT ARE WE

WHAT ARE WE

WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WEWHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE WHAT ARE WE

Simulationously being a hopeless romantic and aromantic is my own personal hell.

i want to fall in love so bad, just to know what it feels like, and i mean love, not limerence or fixation, real, unfiltered LOVE, i love everything about love, but i feel so incapable of truly feeling romantic feelings. it is all i want and i cant have it.

i hate how mean my brain is to me

back on tumblr to complain cause who am i if not a publicly whiney bitch <3, i would like to go ONE DAY without being convinced that everyone secretly hates me, like i am so fully convinced people either talk to me for new material to make fun of me, or because they see me as a charity case UGHHH i want to just believe that people actually like me

“We could’ve been us!” Ahh goodwill

i am SHAMELESSLY an artist who complains that theyre bad and then absolutely cannot be bothered to learn the things they need to learn to get good