[

mood

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mellow

]

Yeah, so I really don't have anything wrong right now. This is probably why this entry will be incredibly short--I have nothing to bitch and complain about.

I've got a job, which is good. Lindsay lent me the money to pay for my transit ticket. I'll go pay for that today.

Meh. Still single, at least. I'm still not sure what's happening with the girl I like. I have no idea if I have a chance, or I'm really out to lunch on this one. Meh.

So, today involves cleaning the house. Blah.

Bye.

[

mood

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lethargic

]

It's too hot to properly gauge how I'm really feeling at the moment. I feel kind of lifeless, but I think that's because it's hot, and I have absolutely no energy.

So, I had my driver's test this morning. Right before the test, I was going across an intersection(17th ave. and 45 street SW)when my light was green, and some fucking moron in an SUV drove right through a red light and almost smashed right into me. Luckily I had slowed up before the intersection--which was actually a driving error; I should've maintained speed--or else I wouldn't be writing this entry with you today, because the guy was going at least 80 km/h and would've totalled the car.

Anyways. This really fucked me up during my exam. I got 60 demerit points, which was absolutely horrible. I did, however, not get 75, so I passed. If anyone actually questions the safeness of my driving, please don't. I'm actually not a terrible driver. I promise!

My nazi parents aren't going to let me drive alone for a bit. Fuck that. They'll let me get away with it as long as I make sure to be safe all the time, which I can easily do.

I was supposed to hang out with Callie today(I think, although I have a terrible memory), but I called and she didn't get my message until now, so nothing happened. I was supposed to hang out with Stef later today, but she just didn't call. I have no idea what happened there. Stuff with her has been interesting as of late. I think she still likes me, which is not surprising. I brought out my nice guy side to her, which, as she told me, is far more attractive than my pretentious jerk side. Who would've guessed it?

I'm kind of tired. Fucking heat.

Good bye.

[

mood

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exanimate

]

I have the in-class part of my driving school today; it's 7 1/2 hours and starts at 9am. I don't really know why I'm awake right now, but, regardless, I still am.

Life is strange lately. I seem to be happy, sad, unhappy, angry, and whatever emotion can come to me. I don't know why. My mind just seems to be confused. I hate being single; it does, pathetically, make me feel more incomplete as a person. Feel free to laugh at that fact.

Sunday I went down to Hot Hot Heat, but got a call from my parents saying I was grounded because of my argument with my mother earlier that day. I kind of deserved it, I guess. Oh well. I hung out with Cayla while waiting for my bus. I feel weird around her. She's good looking and flirty, and I could get some action, but I seem to not be able to demoralize myself to a point where I can be with a girl just to get some action. We were flirting a lot that night, but I made sure not to at Warped Tour, because I know that I really don't want to do stuff with her when her personality doesn't at all appeal to me. How am I supposed to date when I start caring about things like personality? Heh.

Warped Tour was good. I hate jock rockers, though. They seem to get caught up in this image that punk shows are all about being violent, a jerk, and not respecting anyone. Sure, if they did this during punk bands, they'd be semi-correct, but getting punched in the nose during Thursday pissed me off. Speaking of which, Thursday were amazing. I can't wait until they come back in October. Badreligion, also, made me smile a lot. I was looking forward to them so much, and they made me happy except for the fact that it was too violent to get within 100 feet of the stage.

11,000 people at Warped Tour and we can barely manage 50 people at most shows. That just sucks.

Last night's show was fairly good, but I only stayed for 3 bands because of my lesson today. I liked most people I was with, but I was so easily irritated that I just couldn't stand a few people; most of which were girls. Yeah, Wishing Well played last night. They're now an emo band. The last time I heard them I was with Rachel(blech. Why did I do stuff with her?)and they were a punk band. Interesting how much they changed. They were great, nevertheless.

Why do I feel like I like girls when I have no chance with them? I'm too damn nervous of rejection to initiate anything or just say I like girls; and too damn nervous to not ruin things when girls do like me. It's strange. I can go into self-loathing about looks, but I'm pretty sure I'm not ugly; I can go into self-loathing about how I'm a jerk, but I'm really not a jerk to girls I like; I can even blame it on my last relationship screwing me up, but doing that passes the blame from myself to someone else, which is not a right thing for me to do.

Nneah. It's now 6:50, so I guess this explains why this is a little bit of a strange and weepy entry. In better news, I had a job interview at Tim Horton's yesterday, and I'll have another on Monday(hopefully). Plus, I'll have my license Tuesday(provided I pass the driving test), which is really good.

Bye.

[

mood

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satisfied

]

I got my learner's license on Monday. I just had my first driving lesson yesterday, and I will have my full license by the 23rd. When this day comes, I think I'm going to steal the van and go and pick people up. Mm. I can't wait.

I really haven't said much lately, have I? Yeah, I applied for jobs on...Tuesday? Yeah, Tuesday. I'm going to go do a follow up on all of them today to see what's happening with them. Yeah, I really need money so that I can go to Warped Tour, and so I can pay off my transit ticket which is do on the 31st. Shite.

Stef and I went and hung out down at the school by our houses last night. It was a really great time. We kicked a soccer ball around, talked for about 2 hours, she bought me a slurpee, then I walked her home. I really enjoy her as a friend. Really. It's nice to be able to hang out with her and actually not have to feel that I want to go out with her. Plus, calling her boyfriend a pussy who will amount to nothing is fun. Heh. He's not allowed to know that we hung out, though, because he's over-protective with her.

Jeffrey is probably coming over today. I'll ask him if he wants to stay the night watching scary movies and playing Eternal Darkness. He's treating me to the Hot Hot Heat show tomorrow! Jeffrey is the fucking man. I mean it. I love Jeffrey.

Oh, when I came home last night I checked out calgarypunk.com and read a hilarious reply by some of the people Stef know. So, I directed insults their way. Click on read more to read the most hilarious thing I've said in a long while.

( Read more...Collapse )

[

mood

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contemplative

]

So, it's actually very simple. I can't believe how long it took me to figure things out.

Just relax with them. Give them attention, but don't suffocate them with it; don't leave things forever, but don't move in too quick; and, most important, don't panic. Let's just hope I can actually apply these techniques, and it's not too late for them to work.

Oh, I also discovered that girls like assholeishness, but only when it's still cute. When it steps over a certain line, they fucking hate you. It's like Reggie Mantle from Archie Comics. Reggie is the fucking man sometimes with his narcissistic and assholeish behavior, but when he pulls of the huge-ass stunts, Betty and Veronica drop him like a sack of maneur.

Oh, Sean, you're on fire tonight!

[

mood

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contemplative

]

I wake up this morning to see that Heather and Stef are getting along...the same goes for Stef and Derya. It seems Stef talked to both of them last night, and was being really nice to both of them. Great, you'd normally think, but I can't help think that there's some fucked up reasons behind all of this. Considering she didn't talk to me last night, I would assume that I'm correct.

Oh well. Maybe if I ignore things they'll go away.

I'm suspended from my soccer game today. Oh well. I'm playing tomorrow.

Tonight is the Minks' show. I'm looking forward to it. I hope I actually end up going.

[

mood

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exhausted

]

The Plan kick ass. Jeffrey lent me their C.D., and I fucking love it. I'm definitely going to burn it for myself. I would buy it, but I don't know where to get it, and I don't have any money.

6 days until I leave for Kelowna; 5 days until I get my report card; 4 days until the G-8 summit; 3 days until Derya comes over for our date; 2 days until my next soccer game; 1 day until I hang out with Jeffrey; and 25 minutes until I decide to go get lunch.

I'm finished all my final exams. I scored 73% on my Social Studies final, which is fucking amazing considering I bombed the essay part. I estimate that I scored about 40% on the essay portion, so that means that I must've scored 92/100 on my multiple choice. Boo-fucking-yes.

I don't know how I did on Chemistry, but probably not too well. I should've studied, looked over notes, or something, but I didn't. Oh well.

Math went really well. I think that I probably got about 85-90% on it. I didn't guess on a single question, which is surprising with me when it comes to multiple choice.

My mind collapsed yesterday. I'm soooo fried.

That's all, folks.