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[17 Nov 2008|03:40pm] |
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i've been so disturbed for so long that i think, move, & act slowly & reluctantly when i do almost anything. my "parents" keep harassing me about getting a job. they act like my existence is not justified just b/c i don't have one, & they treat me like a machine. my "parents" are condescending & calloused.
when i was younger, they would not let me do regular social activities. as a result, i never developed adequate social skills. sometimes even strangers that i come across for the first time become confident that they can pick on me & get away with it (& usually, they do get away with it). my social skills are so awful as to prevent my employment. & why don't i have social skills? b/c of my parents. so how could they blame me for being unemployed?
very rarely does anyone voluntarily contact me. exaggeration: i feel like everyone has friends except me.
over the holidays, i get pretty disturbed - last time, i called a teen crisis hotline. i'm afraid that that, or something more severe, will occur again.
upcoming holiday loneliness terrifies me.
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[12 Jan 2008|12:31am] |
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I've had a friend in the past who've pretended to be "depressed" for attention. When I look back and think, it truly does astound me. I don't think I could ever come to understand why anyone would fantasize about living in a world of darkness and pain. Thankfully this person has been out of my life for nearly a year.
Based on some of your experiences, to those who feel the need to answer, what do you guys think of such a mentality? Do you think it's by any means right? I know I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for my entire life...and I could never understand why anyone would WANT to be depressed.
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[05 Mar 2006|01:24am] |
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for those of you in this community who have been inpatients in a hospital, how did you end up there? were you baker-acted or did you voluntarily go in? and what were the circumstances that led up to the decision of going in-patient?
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[10 May 2005|05:48pm] |
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depressed
