| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2009|11:05 am]
runway four
|
Kei
Teach me to be brave
And I will teach you
Running, dying, loving, crying
I promise I won't leave
Selflessly decaying
An old college by the sea
They came for me there
It all began with a book
But one, a simple thing
Pages old and new
A rivalry, a hewe
Soon to grow...
Kei
Red, green and blue
Am I a masochist
Or am I just insane?
My hidden colors
Waiting behind my sleeping eyes
Split
Me
In
Two |
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| home |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|09:27 pm]
runway four
|
|
this is a break in the tide and i can feel myself drowning. i take a deep breathe and the salty water floods into my mouth. my eyes are frozen open and i can feel my toes in trinkets along the ocean floor. my body is heavy against the current and the motion of my heart moves in sequence. i cant reach out my hand nor move my legs to walk upon the sea but yet i float to you and the waves relinquish my stride.
* * *
please forgive me for substituting and for fearing and for pretending and for never having just the right words to express this unfailing feeling of heartache. good heartache. |
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| new to the community |
[Jul. 23rd, 2006|09:52 pm]
runway four
|
a flower
alone
white among
grey light
a flame
crouching low
behind the fuel
of life
peeking
wanting
dying slowly
a wish
held dear
and soft
don't go away
before it's too late |
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|
| New |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|07:40 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | music |
| | Cells : The Servant | ] |
the patches of a sunrise
signify our arrival.
smoke sputters from the engine
while the crows caw in dry mourning.
setting apart the horizon from the mind,
hands held tight while flying closer to the sky. X |
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| Kerath |
[Mar. 12th, 2005|04:05 am]
runway four
|
churning black tar beneath your knees
smudges shape your coarsely skin
ignoring the rustling of sensate trees
they speak clearly to lure you in
the fire you set next to the churned bowl
will soon have its way with the dark
center you into an amber glow
where you'll meditate on a lonely spark
it kicks into the bowl
of sulfur, saltpeter and charcoal
a combination so potent,
your enemies will sure relent
but of course here's the mistake you made,
blind revenge you'll regret
melting your face into,
an eternal combustion engine of death |
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| Attention South Florida Atheists, Agnostics, Freethinkers, and Humanists |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|08:24 pm]
runway four
|
Our current members and I of the Broward Atheists Meetup (www.browardatheists.com and in www.meetup.com) welcome all interested in atheism, theism, freethought, agnosticism, humanism, transhumanism, state and church seperation (otherwise known as seperation of sturch), and related topics to our Tuesday meetings after 6:30pm. The www.browardatheists.com website has details on our venue, it is currently a pub, but will change when more members are acquired. We're already bulging at the seams with an average attendance of about twelve. No matter your age, beliefs, or preferences, we'd like to hear your opinion. Even the sternest Christians may come and present their thoughts, because if you really believe we're going to hell, we sure don't want to be wrong about the subject, haha, but most members are pretty confident about their atheism and agnosticism. I mention the invitation only to be open-minded. Anyways, we usually discuss religion, politics, philosophy, etc. but do not feel obligated to have to order anything despite it being a pub. There is no membership fee either, it is an informal event so far seeing how we have too few to be more organized, but we'd like to be! And we'd like to have enough people to start some activism and be as productive as possible.
Aside from the weekly Tuesday meetings, there are fun events such as campfires and beach barbeques scheduled. We sure would like to cooperate with other groups and more members to voice the rights and freedoms we and others deserve regardless of our beliefs and with your ideas and help, this can be made possible. The current goal is to eliminate the negative stigma attached to our labels by altruism and stoicism such as scholarships and good deeds. E-mail me with any questions or better yet, any one else you can get in contact with from the website to get a clearer understanding of who and what we are. We turn no one down and encourage debate, skepticism, and reason. The meetings are definitely worthwhile and interesting or else I wouldn't waste the little free time I have as a college student to invite any one else to come join the experience. If you are in the area and find the time inconvenient with your busy schedule, no hard feelings will be had, but at least sign the guestbook so we can know you support us and wish you could come. :-)
-Jason |
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| Do I Pray |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|05:29 pm]
runway four
|
I place the candle by your bedside
and wish you a pleasant sleep
I'll watch over you, I promise
and that promise I will keep
the wrinkles on your skin
I now do see
your much older
then I ever thought you to be
my eyes become alive now
the candle light guiding the way
I wish you didnt look so frail
and for that do I pray
sitting by your beside
the candles getting low
soon it will be out
and someone will have to go
I wish with all my heart
this time would never come
but I see the shadow creeping closer
and soon I realize we must part
I take your gentle hand in mine
as I wipe my silent tears away
the shadows consumed you now
Ill never forget this day
now there is no more light for us
the candle has been hushed
its golden light can no longer be seen
and so I take the candle away
and wish you a safe journey
and for that do I pray |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2004|05:26 pm]
runway four
|
|
Hello.. just want to see if this works and from then on I will be adding poems, and artwork. Thank you |
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| just a thought |
[Sep. 7th, 2004|11:37 am]
runway four
|
 </p> |
|
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| drowned |
[Jul. 22nd, 2004|09:14 pm]
runway four
|
sucidal dizziness
exposed too long
burned by
your slimy glare
red all over
you tie me up,
chains and ropes
rocks and stones
you break my bones
Crush my heart
with your nonchalant words
im digging im diggin
trying not to die
as I feel myself slip under again
Walls close in
i, alone
crawl here to die
let it all go
there's no reason to live
you hate everything i give
~Justine |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2004|12:54 pm]
runway four
|
Lonely nights don't haunt me
the way the emptiness
in your eyes did.
I'm not even afraid of the dark anymore. |
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| The Amorphous Wanderer |
[Jul. 13th, 2004|01:14 pm]
runway four
|
|
A man with many names set out on his journey to trek into the unknown and delve into his past. He was to face many demons of his own accord and many of others. Many scars already were torn unto him, and many more were to be brought forth to his body. He cared not. He cared for himself first, and did what he felt was right...always. To help others was never his agenda, but he would not say that he did not feel remorse for their miseries. Even sometimes had he caused them. The blood from his hands, the blood from his sword were always intertwined with the blood of his heart. The man with many names was born to face many foes. He was to face nothing at the same time. He was to face emotions of all genres; rapture, disgust, anger, hate...love, that was lost. He spent his life in eternal sorrow wishing to be someone else, anyone else. Never knowing that he was how he was meant to be, nor did he ever care. He wished upon all other desires to be a simple person. He never knew that the reasoning behind why he was so complex was simply because he had always done what he thought was right. Unlike the humans, he was not motivated by greed, morals, or any type of philosophical or religious constructed laws. He fought for his own meaning. So the man with many names, wandered in many lives, on many paths, and found many answers. But for every answer he found there were an infinite number of questions left to ponder; left to torture him and his insatiable thirst for relief from pain. Never will that man die, but always will he fall... |
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| A Petrarchan Sonnet |
[Jul. 2nd, 2004|03:59 pm]
runway four
|
beneath star-flecked heavens at twelve midnight
rain fell, I closed my eyes as it soaked through
distractions called, but I focused on you
gorgeous contrast of black sky and moon white
not quite enough to lull me from the sight
of your face in my mind; love surged anew
emotions surrendered in peaceful coup
in this shadow-cast world, you were my light.
“when life permits, we’ll live this fantasy.”
love guaranteed sweet closure to this race
for you were the music my soul strived to sing
you were my ev’ry drop of sanity
you were my purpose and my saving grace
you owned my heart, you were my everything.
but warm fall rains so quickly turn to frost
and fearless nights bow to a vengeful dawn…
to think that all this time, you were a pawn!
and what we shared, with so few qualms, was lost.
we ravaged passion at too great a cost
and what once filled my soul with mirth has gone
into quarantined shells we have withdrawn:
even the most beautiful words exhaust.
love based on strident poetry must die
emotions fade, though memories cease to flee
youth is a game in which none ever have prevailed,
no victories, no gains, no heads held high.
for those in love, heed my resounding plea:
know that the freshest breaths of air are first to stale. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|10:02 am]
runway four
|
the mixtape is the new sonnet
and i wrote this one for you |
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| And if a kiss |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|04:08 am]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
And if a kiss
or drink touches the lips
of the memory--where,
and where will it file
into a brain--
a brain with
clocks full of
hands that reach out
to grab one another (but
fail and circle around
and about--does this memory
chase itself down into
the basement where it will be
lost and forgotten in time--
so if this happens will
photographs talk--and if so,
will memories begin to walk? |
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| I am a newbie..... |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|05:30 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| | surprisingly unhappy | ] |
Four days to live
and not a mind to think....
Memory is Nostalgia
and Nostalgia is a child
that I am not allowed to play with
I have drempt so many realities
and lived so many dreams
that exsistence is a mere plaything;
A toy within my Memory
Yet Memory is Nostalgia
and Nostalgia is a child
that I am not allowed to play with
The vibrancy is muted
the Earth beyond arm's (or mind's) reach
And the subtle is forgotten
So lost into the never
That the New
Will be a dagger
....a dagger in the future
Four days to live
and not a mind to think
but waiting
is no longer a luxury
I have to bathe in
Chaos is upon me
with all it's uncertainty.
A gift or a curse be?
I will never know
unless the fog is parted
but I have not the breath
to make my way
Four days to live
But exsistence died in yesterdream
along with Comfort
many ages ago...... |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2004|12:33 pm]
runway four
|
ive been getting my feet wet as of late
jumping overboard
and im drowning in water up to my knees
while i kneel
the summer reminds me |
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| hey y'all |
[May. 6th, 2004|01:24 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
Hey I'm new at this so be on the look out for my occasional postings! |
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| i just joined... hello! |
[May. 2nd, 2004|01:57 pm]
runway four
|
the color of friendship--
let me decorate your room with flowers-
they'll be so red, they'll be so beautiful,
people won't ever call you dry again
if you let me put color into your life.
you're more than less in a world like this.
you'll always be beautiful
because of these flowers.
the room now pulses with a deepness
because you let me take out the dryness in your room . . .
There, I had to kill your sickly friend; not
a proper bud will he ever blossom;
and he cried swallowing the red of
your nicely decorated room
-it’s screaming of color now!
he choked but you were beautiful. |
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| what do you think be honest |
[Apr. 3rd, 2004|03:32 pm]
runway four
|
She's always thinking nothing's going right
She screams inside; she hates life
Her demons get to the better of her When shes home alone at night
She tries to stop herself, fails, and reaches for the knife
To her everythings a blurr
She just cant take this pain
So many people care about her
They see her cheek marked with a single tear stain
I dont know what to do,
Tears flow like a river
I care alot about you
I see what you do and shiver
She realizes what she's doing, she cries.
I take her wrist and say this has to stop
Suddenly, her pain dies
Tears start to drop
Before we leave school each day,
I whisper don't do anything you'll regret
That's exactly what I say.
Remember than and dont forget. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2004|03:15 am]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Hi....I just joined drownthesun....I'm glad I found a cool writing community....Here's my first entry:)
Thoughts filled with shadows cross my mind
Filtering through, undefined
Swirling out of my grasp
I try to grab one, but turn in vain
I cannot comprehend
My unmended soul carries on
An invisible load
Ever present
Defied and bleeding
It lies on the floor
Draining and cold, searching for something
Something I cannot grasp.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2004|09:46 pm]
runway four
|
hi. i just joined. looking for writing communities of the sort.
i have a muse of late.
he doesnt know it though.
i dont think i possess romantic feelings for him though. it's the poetry and romance of the situation.
the complete and utter unreality. it's beautiful there. almost deathly so.
anyway.
it's not so good.
****
in the creases of morning light like your breath against my eyelids and your kisses swirling around on the tip of your tongue
you whisper that love is like darkness stretching out to morning light in sinister whisps of clouds seducing the sun with its cold touch. beckoning for submission, ordering continuation.
Stealing such kisses from your mouth
ill tell you soon that love is something of the sort, but to me you're more like a love song that carries such intense mystery that you have begun to hate that person.
so much so their eyes burn holes through your wrists
and your fingers are repelled from the skin of them,
a reaction to your addiction,
a kill switch a to save you from burning on impact.
though from mere centimeters it burns like the heat on a white flame. and fires green and gold bullets of contempt through every lie you ever told to protect yourself from this heat.
those clouds are calling the morning just to jump the day to make it night
its steel coolness wrapping itself around you and i before disappearing in the mess of bed sheets and knotted hair. and sweat rising to the surface of your skin while you say strange things i promised myself i would lock away
and never repeat.
we'll make it til dusk. |
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| Carven of thought |
[Jan. 6th, 2004|01:08 pm]
runway four
|
carving steps in your heart
I pluck the strings in a fashion of unfamiliarity
obviously you have not broken this enough
but your stinging my eyes with this charity
sagging upon other moments of notice
so just carve this out with your smile again
bend down with your crystal touch
reflect the demon before you
the reflection I see has transformed
bathing me with another smile
I will drown yet again
in this angelic pool of extacy
I will become...
disintegrating and dispersing into you
coward steps have lost their chance to burden
collect the thought and will the lost
a cloud has been placed
streaming forth from every movement
wrapping my vision like a serpent upon prey
so just carve this out with your smile again
splinter my flesh with your touch
reflect that which you see
maybe the mirror lies and you are the only true reflection
so break my heart with another smile
I will drown yet again |
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| just new.....throwing some poetry at you |
[Dec. 16th, 2003|08:07 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | music |
| | Danielle Lo Presti - Happy | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  creative | ] |
The Storm
A floating mountain this way comes
The summer day simply succumbs
The vast expanse of grey and black
Doles out a warning of it’s attack
Cold skies come rumbling and tumbling in
Twisting and turning from the power within
Without mercy the skies of grey
Stretch over the lands and seek it’s prey
The young, the old, the strong the weak
Now matter. They scatter. It’s shelter they seek
In a moment day was night
Then a searing blinding light
To stop the heart and stop the eyes
With sound enough to paralyze
Another crash
Again
Again
Then the sound of pounding rain
Here comes the soldier’s from the cloud
Marching! Marching! They are loud!!
Another flash
lightening
crash!
An electric hue
Of grey and blue
Then a silence in between
Counting, counting one…two…three
Pounding rain a thunderous roar
The heaven’s scream at the count of four
Steadily it marches on
The calm inside this storm is gone
MickeyJames |
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| i cried last night (to the lovers) |
[Jul. 31st, 2003|06:22 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
i cried last night
i cried. tears. they fell.
...fell...
......fell...
.........fell...
until I was overcome
like raindrops on water
the ripples of pain flowed
they echoed in my heart
repeating and slowly fading
as they reached the shoreline
i whispered in my sleep
woke up to my own voice
crying out...
...please love me.
and little did i know
your voice followed mine
i do...
...i cried last night
tears flowed
...faster...
......faster still...
and i laughed |
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| how could a day such as this be anything but happy |
[May. 31st, 2003|05:05 pm]
runway four
|
i woke with a smile and the sleepy eyed demeanor of a cherished lover,
tangled in the sheets of a bed that remembers your presence and resounds
the warm happiness of your eyes. the light was delicately blue,
the rain making its own music on the roof. i rolled over to tangle myself
deeper into the covers and felt your hand comfortingly cupping my shoulder,
pulling me closer to you....i smiled again and rubbed my eyes...taking a moment
to preserve your touch before sitting up to face the day. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 4th, 2003|03:02 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
Friend
...My friend.
Can you tell me who I am?
When I'm crying, hold me.
When I'm dying, love me.
When I'm lying, bring me
Out of the hell I cling to?
Will you be there for me?
Will you sing for me
A song that calms the soul
And softens my heart?
...Friend.
I long to run and hide
Self-mutilation and self-obsession
Images reflected
Images embraced
Alone and alone forever
...Friend.
Will you ease the pain?
Will you remember me?
...But friend.
Most of all...
Will you be there for me
When things go good
When I'm okay
When I smile
When I sing
When I laugh
When I love
When I remember
I'm alone and lost
Trapped in the past
That no one allows me to forget |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2003|10:55 pm]
runway four
|
Your Eyes
Your eyes
Beautiful as they are
They glowed with love
They shook with emotion
They drew me in
They tore me apart
They rendered me helpless
To your touch
To your feel
To your control
They held me
They soothed me
They bathed me
In a cool soft light
A remembrance of everything
I once held dear
Burning blue
Sending chills
Up and down my spine
Melting me
Taking me
To the very depths of your soul
Your eyes
Telling a story
Of your past
Of your present
Of your future
A tale of pain
A tale of deciet
Your beautiful account
Of memories, memoirs
And delicate desires
Your eyes
Oceans of calm
They held together the world
They were the world
My world
Your eyes
Giving away everything
Giving hope
Giving peace
Giving pain
Your eyes
Gave you away
All the lies
All the pleasures
All the false alibis
They hold you accountable
They hold you responsible
Your eyes
The only truth
In all your lies
Tearing me apart
And causing me to fall
Fall into this path of repetition
Of longing
Of forgiveness
Of you |
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| Monsieur: my toughest critic and concurrent compliment. |
[Feb. 18th, 2003|02:50 pm]
runway four
|
You question my authenticity.
Am I false in this air of humility?
Scandalous, you’re calling me.
Devoid of identifiable countenance.
Eluding every conventional ideal
of wholeness.
My fever amplifies
in the wake of grievous allegations.
Askew perception;
consumed by self-depreciation..
impressions of emotional aberrations.
But that's you: the magician..
Ever evasive; eluding my comprehension.
Tacking numbers to hopeful hearts
and heaving them into rotation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 11th, 2002|11:14 am]
runway four
|
Hi, I've just joined this community, and love what its members are writing. Here's my humble contribution :)
--------------------------
sitting on my heels
rockabye rockabye
doncha know that aint good for your soul
baby baby, tell me what ails thee
tell me whats giving your face that frown
father figure, mother dear
so many people stop me shining
so many monsters in the dark
brother dearest, come and save me
grab my hand before I fall
..
waking up in the morning is just the beginning of another day
another week
another month
another year
and there was only one road that lay before me
full of glass bell laughter and daintily dancing dames
and shoes that only fit my left foot-
clumsy girl.
and even now the slightest
twinge of pain reminds me of your kiss
i wonder what deep memory weaves the two together
a single cloth that represents both you and I
-at that time
I know I'll wash it till its worn
but I'll always be able to trace the pattern
eyes closed and hand over heart |
|
|
| Untitled 09-14-02 |
[Sep. 14th, 2002|03:52 pm]
runway four
|
silver sparks bursting
so crystalline white
amid vibrant nebulae
glow through the dark night |
|
|
| i remember... |
[Sep. 14th, 2002|02:48 pm]
runway four
|
snow on the pavement,
Genesee street...
street lights dim,
to the light in your eyes... |
|
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| Vanish to Nothing |
[Sep. 13th, 2002|11:51 am]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
Vanish to Nothing
Watch her walk away
She said her last good-bye
She won't stand for it anymore
With her hopes and dreams fading away
She vanishes to nothing
You call yourself a man?
How do you figure?
You talk down to her and call her
A WHORE
Let me ask you-
Have you looked in the mirror
Lately?
She let you into her world
You and your Soul Sifting Deciples
Broke her down
Invaded her city of sanity
And left her there to pick up the pieces
ALONE
She offered you ALL she had
But it was NEVER enough
She fell down for you
And you left her behind!
You NEVER gave
You ALWAYS took
Look where it left you
Isn't it funny?
You thouhgt you could keep her
Under a "Fallen Angel's" wing
But now the jokes on you
She grew her own
She took flight
And watched you
Vanish to Nothing!
Watch her as she walks away
She said her last good-bye
She won't stand for it ANYMORE
Now YOUR hopes and dreams fade away
As YOU Vanish to NOTHING
~Nsoroma~ |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2002|01:30 am]
runway four
|
one.
scarlette was walking down the street talking to rabbits. at one particular lawn she stopped and smelled the air. autumn was coming. she’d be wearing a sweater soon, beige and frayed. it was one of the things she’d stolen from her grandfather’s closet. there were 2: grandmother’s to the right, grandfather to the left .after he died scarlette placed it in a bag of flowers from the funeral. her mother kept all the flowers, she said that she wanted to try taking some seeds from inside the center of petals, and when she got home she put them behind her wedding dress. if scarlette feels bored she can go in that place, her mother’s sanctuary. it’s the morgue of the Empty’s heirlooms. The long closet across the hall from Scarlette’s mother’s room.
Scarlette stood underneath the trees and breathed. Nose breath mouth breath nose breath mouth breath inhale exhale inhale until the moment has passed.
her house is the red one at the top of the hill. cute little trimmings, pail pink paint and knockers and shutters. people driving past whisper things about the gingerbread house. little girls and boys talk stories about the gingerbread people, and the uncreative ones tell their gi joes about the one that said cant catch me i’m the gingerbread man. sometimes the mean ones find eachother at night and wait for inhabitants to appear. they bring the household dog that hasn’t had dinner.
Quiet skippy, they’ll know youre here! shut up, you can eat one if you keep ruffing! make him shut up nick.
Scarlette’s mother stayed inside. her face was faints from not opening the curtains. sometimes she watched t.v. she had nightmares. in the middle of the night she opened the music box in the morgue. it played “julia,” and ms. empty touches her sticky face.
two.
scarlette liked the sky. the backyard had a white picket fence that was torn down and replaced once a year at christmas. scarlette laid in the middle of the grass and sunburned her face.
stars
hippos
rain
when she was a girl she took her mother’s nailpolish and painted stripes across her face and the brown paperbags from the grocery store. she cut the bags into triangles and tied them to her arms. in the guest bathroom she made her hair into two braids and stared to be sure she looked like the little girl on the ripped out page of national geographic. the paper girl had feathers. feathers. scarlette took the babyfood jar she collected seagull feathers in and placed two in her hair. then she took the crow feather she’d hidden in her backpack on the way home from school. she pushed it between her part and looked again. the girl in the picture had a ling going down from the middle of her forehead to the tip of her chin. scarlette stood on the toilet seat and opened the cabinet above the sink. aunt ruby’s old lipstick was stuck in a corner, accompanied by cutips and travel size kleenex. scarlette would use it for her stripe then put it in her mother’s closet. she pushed the line down her nose and looked at herself. her center, her brain, her lungs filled up with music. she made her mouth sad and compared it with geographic girl. they were almost the same. she ran down the stairs quietly so mother wouldn’t wake up. she opened a drawer and put on the christmas socks from yoga and opened the screen door and was outside in the wind. her feet jingled. she had nothing on but her christmas socks. she put up her hands, she pointed her face toward clouds and opened her mouth and moved her feet. she began jumping and moving her hands, her braids bumped her shoulders. grass, and sky, and house, and trees, and fence, and ants, and world, scarlette ran around the yard in circles and sideways and started scatting like great aunt susie’s records that were on a higher shelf in the morgue - ella fitzgerald. spinning around singing blue blue bluh buh buh buh blue for the sky and drrrrrop for blizzards, wiggling her hands in the air or lakes and swimming @ the Mince cottage upnorth, running from one side to the other screaming and falling in the daisy patch, breathing hard and smiling in the inside, feeling the first pieces of rain landing.
three.
if moira was in the sky she’d look like a head. her hair is black and her clothes are black and lacy and old like the sky. she has dreadlocks and lives in the house behind scarlette. moira’s car is her dad’s and we used to call it mr zebra pants. mr mince broke the trunk so he put masking tape around it. it peeled off in a rainstorm and some robins took the tape to make a nest. there are still marks on zebra pants, but every other sunday mrs mince takes it to the carwash, and the stripes become small spots and dots. i call moira in the morning.
why hello miz scarlett empty.
lovely to hear your voice miss mince. is your dancing card open?
if you only knew, miz scarlette.
shall we take mr zebra pants for a walk?
we shall indeed. we’ll be ‘round after i get my nose powdered.
moira hangs up and walks to the bathroom mirror. lalala. her and scarlette were in the advanced 7th grade reading class. they read gone with the wind and talked like the old south for a few months. 7th grade. seventeen year old moira puts on her great grandmother’s rings and chapstick and puts the keys in her great grandmother’s purse. moira enjoys pretending she’s a fun victorian widow. she enjoys being mocked in the hallway. she has a pet mouse.
she drives around the block to the gingerbread house. scarlette’s waiting behind the bushes with an apple. she gets in the car and moira asks her where she wants. they often frequent thrift shops, book shops, flea markets, their friends, moira’s boyfriends when she has a boyfriend.
the aeroport.
scarlette’s seatbelt clicks and she spreads out her legs.
ok. moira and scarlette streak off in mr zebra pants listening to a mixed tape.
when scarlette and moira drive they talk about psychiatric appointments, social worker appointments, the mince family, the empty mother, movies, music, or they sing. they sing along to the collection, which is 50 mixed tapes from road trips. every vacation has a tape, dating back to age five. they made them at moira’s house or scarlette’s, together and by themselves, and today’s was #3. moira and scarlette made it last minute when yogo got sick. they drive through cars, houses, grocers. it’s a mild day, warm and too sparkly, its 50 minutes until the aeroport. moira’s speeding in drug store sunglasses, scalrette leans in the seat with her thick framed spectacles. the clouds are elongated cottonballs in the atmosphere, and they make names for them.
a herd of clouds.
the face of a boy with blue skin as a teenager.
puffy stars.
boats, the way you see them in an ocean.
scarlette’s in one of her poesy moods. isnt it nice to be below the ocean?
moira forgot to go to the bathroom and she parks mr zebra pants by a bowling ally and runs in, picking up her dress. the sky looks like normandy now, from the top of the channel. |
|
|
| Untitled 02-15-00 |
[Jul. 27th, 2002|11:42 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | music |
| | Live - Graze | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | nostalgic | ] |
bodies contorted
into configurations
each within unbalanced
aspirations
our scramble
ends unheard
on carpets hesitations |
|
|
| Two old poems that I found tonight... |
[Jun. 28th, 2002|10:40 pm]
runway four
|
the golden sunset
caressed her autumn limbs
majestic leaves danced
over her still grace
with my last gentle whisper
--------------------------------------------
From her bed led
dark pathways
of condemned desire
to heartache's blood-stained tears
and the infinite Sea |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2002|12:12 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
( Creeping GrayCollapse ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2002|09:02 pm]
runway four
|
|
( Shivering MichelleCollapse ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 13th, 2002|03:44 pm]
runway four
|
introspection
sometimes there are metafictions
that relate the truth through
their untruth.
their introspection seeps through
the pages, intoxicating.
hollow eyes are nothing, and a
full mouth that sounds beautiful
but doesn't understand is void.
introspection is a lamp that lights
the eyes, the field before you,
and the mouth fills with wisdom. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 12th, 2002|09:51 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
Mother's Heartbeat
Here i sit
alone and crazy
YOu look at me like you
pity me
I tell you now
everyone is alone,
Is it the time in the womb that
fools us?
Those nine months when you are
closer to anyone that you will
be in your life?
Cry your heart out
It will never happen again
You will never be that close
to another person again
YOu are on your own
when you exit that dark cave
Where your mother carried you
around
and you went to sleep by her
heartbeat
Haven't you noticed
the world is an ugly place since then?
Do not feel sorry for me
you are not much better off than me
are you?
We are all blind men
clawing at the dirt
trying to find a road
Seldom do we bump into one
who understands
Then it is just the understanding
of the scream
you let out
When you took your first breath
You can't go back
It was a cruel joke
They wrapped you in a nice warm blanket
and sang you to sleep
and made you think
everything would be okay
They lied
Why did they lie?
I would that my bed would have
been made out of barbed wire
and my swaddling blankets
were sandpaper
I would have been better prepared
for this world
Instead,
I sit here alone
and crazy
rocking myself
and talking to myself
in a dark place
where no one can bother me
Do you pity me?
Don't
There isn't anything you can do
We are all disconnected
from each other
I am a walking object lesson
of what not to be
There is not rhyme or reason
to anything
Do not pity me
or look at me with your long
eyes of sympathy
Use you energy
all of it you can muster
to save yourself
and build your towers of protection
higher in your mind
and your fantasies longer and brighter
so that you can survive
until you go back
into your last quiet place
Where walls will surround you again
but you will not feel or see
but you will be safe
inside womb of the earth
That is what i think about
when i sit here and rock
I will go there
and if i am lucky
i will die
hearing my mothers heartbeat again
and i will remember
what it was like
before i learned to cry
and when she loved me
before she saw me
and she had to hold me close to her
That is all i think about
When I sit and rock
There are no fathers
in the dirt
only mothers
Who won't let you be born again
Because she is the one
and the only one
Who truly loves you
and doesn't lie
it is over
shhhhhhhhhhhh
it is over
You are safe inside me
and you don't ever have to
leave again. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 9th, 2002|12:29 pm]
runway four
|
The crocodile necklace
I look at it now
Stashed between my seats
where you wouldn't find it
if you looked
I hid it there myself
as an excuse to come back in
and i knew you wouldnt' tell me
no
and of course you didn't
it only takes two minutes
to get naked in a bathroom
and for your jaw to drop
Why do i do these things
i always ask myself after
What is wrong with me
I hold the necklace in my hand
and i want to say
it is all your fault
but i know it is mine
the faithless slut
the predator
has to look in the mirror at herself
again
She never likes what she sees
and she has to make excuses for herself
Where am i?
Who am i really?
Am i the things i do?
a sinner by choice?
or am i the things i feel
that no one will ever know but me?
Or am i the thoughts i think
alone in my bed,
that no one would understand
and that I would have to back track
alot to explain
and i dont' have the energy
Maybe,
your memories are all you have
sometimes
Some and most you are not proud of
But for some reason,
i keep making them
in triplicate
But what does it matter?
Someday we will all feed the worms
and no one will care
what i thought
or felt
of did
I dont' think i will ever
make the history books
Do the dead scheme and plan
in their graves?
bury me in my crocodile necklace
I want to remember |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2002|11:15 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
Invoking the Incubus
Random thoughts on random things
that you think about for no reason.....
I think tonight
i will invoke an incubus
and give myself as a willing sacrfice
I picture that he will appear
with a large steak knife
and say"
We are only going to eat the fat off this little piggy tonight
and save the rest for later"
I wonder if you ever get accustomed to
your bed slamming on the floor
and being touched
when you really dont' want to be
I think it would be hard
to go to your happy place
inside your mind
and pretend it is not happening
and that you are not really there
I think it would be like being shell shocked
your every thought would remind you of it
repeatedly
cycling all the time
i think i would become like a vegetable
for the rest of my life
and somehow time would go on and on
with my consent
and a beast for a lover.
*ponder this* |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2002|10:56 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
Trolls' Blessing
Your love for me was like a troll's blessing,
Did you really
think I coudln't feel the worts,
inside your hands
When you placed them on my head,
All the words you said,
I could smell them,
like a gray smoke
curling around my face and ears,
When you were kissing me
I could smell the embalming fluid
YOu didn't love me
you never will
Did you think for a moment i was fooled? |
|
|
| short. |
[Mar. 1st, 2002|11:38 am]
runway four
|
anywhere i stand
the stars keep moving
and i can't seem
to put my finger
on the place where
i belong
the picture keeps expanding
and i become less focused
on the reasons that i should
or shouldn't stay |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 28th, 2002|01:05 pm]
runway four
|
Sometimes i dont' kow what i want
but to explode in tiny bits...
I said
What do i know of love?
Gashes and scrapes
You said:
Let me write my name across
your chest
with my razor
you know you love me
Your such a twisted little thing
No one understands you but me
No one knows how to love you,
but me[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<align=left>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <font color=silver>Sometimes i dont' kow what i want but to explode in tiny bits... I said What do i know of love? Gashes and scrapes You said: Let me write my name across your chest with my razor you know you love me Your such a twisted little thing No one understands you but me No one knows how to love you, but me<align=left><img src=http://images.fotki.com/v3/free/316a/2/27278/62680/menakedinbed-vi.jpg?1014907050> You didnt' come with an owners manual You need love that makes you cry I can tell by the way you look at me You want to be eaten alive You won't be satisifed until you are aching and hurting inside Look at yourself How you push the nice ones away You want to be my evil baby you know you do You can't stay away You say you want affection.. and you want to hold you tight I give you all the affection an evil man can give Let me love you like you need it baby You ain't going to be satisified until i do You need an evil love, sugar Because you know your evil too. You were such a pretty baby usta smyle all the time How you changed little fallen angel Sometimes i think you heart is harder than mine All twisted up and shriveled you tell me at night what is love? You've never felt it Baby, i like the way you look when your dying inside Forget about love and throw it out the window Kisses and hugs are for the boring What you need is someone who knows you And wants you for what they see inside I see darkness baby Darker then i've ever seen before Your an evil pretty baby Quit trying to pretend your something more, it only makes me want to pluck all the feathers out of your fake little wings and watch you cry Cause you want them back you want to be one of the pretty sweet girls I want to set you free Your an evil one sweetie i can see it in your eyes Your daddy didn't know what he made When you mom carried you inside If he had known he would have never let you see the light of day A good man sometimes believes in abortion at least once If he had known the evil girl he had Dont' pretend anymore, baby Let me set you free and let you be what you are No one else can do it for you All they do is make you cry So put down the flowers and the veil and burn all the things you think you father wanted What does it matter now You are what you are He can't control you now He should have let you go You have a life to live, baby and I am the one to show you What are your evil dreams are for You always say: Somtimes i don't know what i want but to explode in tiny bits... <i>Let set your fuse..</i> What do i know of love? Gashes and scrapes <i> Let me show you what you were made for</i> </i>Can't nobody handle you but me</i> Let me write my name across your chest with my razor you know you love me Your such a twisted little thing No one understands you but me No one knows how to love you, but me You didnt' come with an owners manual You need love that makes you cry I can tell by the way you look at me You want to be eaten alive You won't be satisifed until you are aching and hurting inside |
|
|
| One Girls Darkened Heart |
[Feb. 21st, 2002|07:56 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | mood |
| | lethargic | ] |
My darkened Heart
You have my heart.
It's in your hands.
Please keep it safe.
I know you must understand.
We share a darkness.
Far beyond reality.
I Love you for who you are.
I pray that you still Love me for being me.
Please believe that we are far beyond meant to be.
I am hard to understand.
I can not help but to want to hear you.
Want to touch you.
I want something so dramatically true with you.
You know this.
You must.
I Love you.
I hope you know.
I crave you so much.
I can not let go.
� RebelliousEyes 2002 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 18th, 2002|09:53 am]
runway four
|
Word Possesion
another gray,dreary day
another day captive to my
passions
an ugly prison
with pretty people to look at
through the bars
No sunshine,
No rain.
just dust to cough
and drag yourself through
like a snake on its belly.
I will be the poet
who wrote out her brains
until there was no thoughts
to think
or memories to sigh at,
or feelings to jab me
and taunt me
what else is there to do
when you live in a cage?
it doesn't seem like
anyone will let me out
the demon that looks through my eyes
has shown me many things
I had never thought about before
he made me see the eyes that won't let me sleep
and flash through my every dream,
He reminds me of words that weren't meant
that seared my heart
Visions of things
That turn to mist in my hands
The things you can never have
but you pine for
nonetheless
a little imp maybe
that likes to play dirty tricks
just to laugh at you?
or a demon
a poet like me
who wrote in hell
for all eternity
to join me here
to point out the misery
I forgot to see
When I put down the pen
He picks it up
We are never finished...
"There is more to see
more you don't see
I will blind you tender eyes
until all your tears are blanched
and all your life
you will write
describing pain and sunsets and touches
that don't matter
to anyonelse but you
Until you are mad
and you will still write
I will never leave you
or forsake you |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2002|07:58 pm]
runway four
|
i wonder if remnants of me still abide in that room...with him
or has he hidden them away
i close my eyes and imagine how it could be,
it takes me nowhere
Why?
this could be a song that went on forever.
this life would go further.
this pain would grow stronger.
and i would still remain.
As myself... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 12th, 2002|07:58 pm]
runway four
|
i wonder if remnants of me still abide in that room...with him
or has he hidden them away
i close my eyes and imagine how it could be,
it takes me nowhere
Why?
this could be a song that went on forever.
this life would go further.
this pain would grow stronger.
and i would still remain.
As myself... |
|
|
| {........It Is In My Nature........} |
[Feb. 10th, 2002|10:20 pm]
runway four
|
| [ | music |
| | KiTTiE - JoNNY | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | enthralled | ] |
Nature Is My Whore
Last night nature was my whore
pretty and wet and parts of her sore
her winds grabbed my ass
she held me tightly to her grounds
as I followed my girl
as I stalked my girl
looking at what she was doing
walking silently behind her
behind her
her behind is all mine
Stop!
Stop
Stopping under a tree is when I grabbed her
hugged her
held her
as rain poured down
nature frowned
upside down
The world was spinning
I was high off of pot
in which I liked a lot
my mind was gone
numb for that time being
seeing her flesh
Earth became impressed
truth speaks past windows
tinted Eyes
Eye shadow
Lipstick
Mascara
running down her face into her mouth
onto my neck
No held regrets
No No No No!!!!!!!
Held regrets!
Hold on a sex...
I mean sec...
Beautiful unknown creature
calm me down
Hold me close to your chest
baby calm me down
Pretty dark Angel
oh calm me down
Take me near your breath
sweetness calm me down
Calm
Calm
Calm
Calm
Strong enough to hold on
Do not be scared to be strong
Living this life for this long
Throwing the good things down the drain
Cold and shivering in the rain
Your body gives me warmth
Nature
Nature
Nature
You do not believe that I am
A Freak
Of
Nature....
Nature or
Nature for
Nature has
Nature will never pass
Up
An
Opportunity
To grab a hold of me
While I�m feeling free
Because nature swears on my life she knows me down to the core
Nature is my whore!!!! |
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