fixnwrtr

I seem to have the misfortune to have my siblings on my back every time I write something and they find out about it. It isn't that I lie, it is that I don't write them the way they wish to be seen. I'm a tattletale ... so they say. I do not lie. I do not tell bad stories about them. I do not even play with the facts, just the facts they don't want anyone to know about them and so I am in their eyes a tattletale. 

I am not their press secretary nor am I a press agent and so I do not write pretty stories about how nice they are and how good they are to me and that is the problem. All I do is write my dealings with them and that is why I was not invited to my brother's wedding a month or so ago. 

Yes, Jimmy got married again. His bride is a good (so he tells me) cook and he has sent me photos of the meals she cooked for him after I called him and asked to be included in his life once again. I was trying to be a peacemaker — or rather someone who prefers peace to the animosity I have had from my siblings. 

Carol finally decided to include me in her life again — even coming to Urbana to go to church with me and bring Levi. 

Happy birthday, gjquidkk

I was watching the Brady Bunch (Brunch) over the holidays and it struck me that Dick Sargeant and Robert Reed had more in common than stars of TV shows. They also shared their homosexuality, something that didn't come out while they were working and starring on TV. That info came out much later. 

The first Darren Stephens didn't have that issue. Dick York was a red-blooded, all American, heterosexual male. 

It seems that seemingly heterosexual males, or at least actors that played heterosexual males — and fathers — hid a lot in their closets. Then suddenly the homosexuals came trooping out of the closets and suddenly there were homosexuals everywhere — and not just in NYC in the gay quarters. 

It wasn't good for their careers to be openly gay. Even the new governor of Colorado is an openly gay Republican. Well, after all, Colorado has open cafes where you can buy and smoke marijuana. I wonder if that is something that was imported from Europe, specifically Holland. 

Yes, I am gazing at my bellybutton again. Doing so ends up not with navel lint, but with enlightenment. I am enlightened again. This time I not only understand myself and my motives better, but my siblings. We are all acting out my Mom's problems. My siblings don't know that, but they should. Whether they will listen to me is moot. They have never really considered me family, though I am biologically family, just not the older sister they should have believed in and supported. They are still acting out because of Mom's prejudices and my actions, also due to Mom's prejudices. What a tangled mess we are in.

No, it is not because of lies, although there have been many lies from the beginning. It is more about prejudices. Mom was a racist. She claims it was because it was the way she was raised. That's a lie. She was racist because she was an elitist. She believed she was better than other people — everyone other than herself. She was born rich and was born with a golden spoon in her mouth. Her father was an alcoholic and had drunk his wealth away many years ago. 

It is Christmas time and I will not be seeing family.  Family doesn't visit me nor do they approve of me. I am not, nor have I ever been, their cup of tea. I've spent so many years without spending Christmas with them that this is just one more holiday without them, though I live a whole lot closer. 

So many people asked me to come back and I have. I don't fault them or blame them because I've always been alone and now they don't think of me as within their sphere of influence. Those that do know, don't care. I suppose they will begin to notice me as I begin to swim in political waters. I'm only 63 and it is not too late for me to begin.

If Donald Trump, the Clintons, and Obama could get elected with all their skeletons hanging out of their closets, why can't I? I haven't nearly the skeletal crowd hiding in my closets, but you can be sure I will drag them out and parade them around. 

I've been frustrated and busy trying to get into my accounts. Good thing at least this one is still accessible to me and I've left it intact. The rest? Hell NO. 

The birthdays of Christy and Bev are coming up on the 17th just as it does every year. That I remember. That is also something I think about every year at this time. Happy birthday to both of you. I send you my best wishes for the holidays and for your shared birthdays. The 17th is the same and I remember it every year because it is just two months from my birthday on the 17th of February. 

Good memories and good birthdays to you. Happy birthday. 

That is all. Disperse. 

I've been trying to get into emails and various other sites on the Internet, but cannot get in even when I do it according to THEIR protocols because THEY do not recognize the codes I put in even when THEY HAVE sent them to me. It's frustrating as hell. I know everyone and everything needs passwords just to keep your information safe, but keeping it safe from me doesn't do me any good. Dammit it all to hell.

Add onto that problem that jobs also require passwords that must be changed every month and that increases the problem. I've put my passwords into a spot that only I have access, but even that doesn't work if I fail to put the password in because I'll do it later. Later never comes and now I am locked out of everything and everywhere online. I used to just keep passwords in a Norton vault, but that failed me, too. 

Color me frustrated and cranky as hell and you might have the picture. I remember the old days when you wrote the passwords down on a sheet of paper in your desk or used the same passwords all the time, but thieves and crooks found out and used that against you and you were locked out and stuck in the mud. 

We live our lives in fear of the criminals and that day has put us — and me — behind the eight ball, which is where I am now. LifeLock will let you know that thieves and criminals have stolen your life, but they don't protect you against password thieves. F*** me. 

This day begins with a birthday — Ted's. Happy birthday, my old and dear friend. 

This day also has a difficult situation — for me.  I have five new grandchildren, three of them step-grandchildren due to my youngest, AJ's marriage to a woman with children of her own. Even so, all five of the grandchildren are mine, whether by birth or by remarriage. I will not allow circumstances or ignorance determine what I feel and what I feel I owe. That includes a new daughter-in-law's passing acquaintance with the truth, even if it does paint me in a bad light. 

The problems with being lazy is that old put up or shut up dilemma. Much like Trump's wall. We — or at least Trump — sees the wall as being a way to keep immigrants from jumping the border fences or climbing over them.

What if the problem were zombies?

I think that is what the zombie movies and zombie books is really all about — unwanted and uninvited beings attacking and/or entering our borders.

What if zombies were streaming across our borders and we (Trump) wanted to keep them out? Trump said Mexico would pay for the border fence, but now it seems as if that is the top salesman's imagined dream — delusion — wish.

Substitute zombies for illegal immigrants and the picture changes.

The United States of America is not an embattled population fighting off zombies, but a sovereign state that has not (and will not) passed socialized medicine. That goes against our (America's) grain. We believe in the highly competitive marketplace of the single payer system. "But the payer does not own the doctors or the hospitals or the nurses or the MRI scanners." That quote comes from the Washington Post and was written by Ezra Klein.

Well, you will say, socialized medicine is not the same as building a wall to keep out illegal immigrants.

Isn't it? I beg to differ.

The Democratic party wants to open all borders and let immigrants come freely into any country on the planet regardless of their behavior or their needs. After all, Canada has socialized medicine, and so does most of Europe. Immigration was no problem when Angela Merkel, chancellor of Germany, opened her arms and welcomed the hordes of Muslims to her door. Justin Trudeau, current president of Canada, opens his arms and welcomes all immigrants — no matter who or what they are. All are welcome, he says. But Canada and Germany both have socialized medicine — as do most of the western European countries. The UK similarly opens its arms and welcomes the Muslim hordes to its shores — and welcomes the Muslim hordes to their socialized medicine with equal affability, which is why there are hordes of Muslims living in the UK battling for recognition and setting off bombs while assassins murder their people wherever — as in the Ariana Grande concert where 22 fans died and 59 fans were wounded. The attack was perpetrated by a suicide bomber — a Muslim suicide bomber.