Hey awesome, Telemarketers101 has reached 50 ways to annoy telemarketers. =D

#50 - Play this youtube video to the phone. Pretty funny.

The vid is from Fred's (a "popular" Youtube series) video,"a 6-year-old with anger management issues and an alcoholic mom who's not supposed to be using her video camera to post videos." Here's one of Fred's videos best to scare off the telemarketer:



Smosh #1 4EVA

I'm proud to welcome a new member,elycion-lacar. Stradavirus did a lovely job in recruiting members -glares-.

#45 - Talk with a voice thats is breaking (think of pre-pubescent boys) or randomly change your voice to different pitches

#46 - Say: "Didn't your mummy tell you not to talk to strangers?". You can also ramble on about stranger danger and lollipop-luring scenarios.

#44 - Mimic every word they say.

eg -
Victim: Hi, this is xxx calling from xxx. Good afternoon, how are you today?
Perpetrator: Hi, this is xxx calling from xxx. Good afternoon, how are you today?

That's for starters. ;) I don't know how they'd react to this.

#42 - Tell them to hold to get whoever they are requesting, then play Mary Had a Little Lamb on the phone.
Press:
3,2,1,2,3,3,3
2,2,2,3,9,9
3,2,1,2,3,3,3
3,2,2,3,2,1.

Ahaha..for a dramatic end, keeping pressing one. The tune actually works on the phone. =D

#39 - While talking on the phone, go to the toilet, get a cup of water and from a high above pour the water slowly into the toilet. Include flushes and "Ahh...that feels better".

#40 - Insist the telemarketer is the police, and that you didnt kill the neighbours cat etc.

#41 Tell the telemarketer you have someone on the other line and to hold on a second, press a random button on the phone and say "Hey (insert name), I'll have to call you back I have one of those stupid telemarketers on the other line. It's soo annoying how they call, I don't even know how they got my number" and keep rambling on about telemarketers.

Stradavirus: MURRAY LOST IN STRAIGHT..thats right..STRAIGHT sets.

#36 - Tell them the person they are looking for is dead and break down into tears as they triggered a deep personal memory

#37 - Tell the telemarketer they have interrupted you during your "special time" and that you were in the middle of ...yeah you get the point, I don't want to type the WHOLE thing up. This will make them feel very awkward.

Spam note 4(?): Everyone hates Djokovic. Serves him right for being booed by the NY crowd. Crowd-proof glass. Thats stupid. Djokovic just blames everyone for his lack of skills.

35 - Have some deliberate (and awkward) hearing issues.

You know those days when you're freaking tired, in double science and accidentally picking up the word 'organism' as 'orgasm'? Yeah, try for that...
If you're stuck for ideas (like I am right now), go for making up nonsense words.

Far out, I keep posting this stuff to my own journal by accident.

Completely off-topic, but has anyone tried Google's new browser 'Chrome'? It's fucking fast, but apparently, it's also a bit fucked up at the moment. Internet Explorer sucks like shit, so I recommend anyone who is still using that trash-hole to switch to Mozilla FireFox immediately. Or wait another month or so for a new version of Chrome to be developed.

#33 - The Jerry Seinfeld way.

Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give you their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". You say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. You say "Well now you know how I feel!" -Hang up-

#34 - Tell the telemarketer you work for the same company they work for.

Telemarketer: "This is William from Cityfail Railway Network." You: "Cityfail! Hey, I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Melbourne." You: "Great, they have a Cityfail there too? How's business? The weather?!?"

#35 Tell the telemarketer you are having dinner now, BUT ask if they would please hold. Make crunching sounds and random dinner family conversations to the phone.