3ratmoon

Explain / just leaving / knock louder

Your face twists up as you look at Lorenz’s slightly rumpled but clearly smoothed hair. What a prissy brat. But, you had fought with him during the war, and he was a reliable fighter. It would probably be a good idea if you at least tried to be courteous.

“I need to talk to Claude,” you explain.

But Lorenz's eyes only narrow further. “And why is that, pray tell?” he asks. “You're a Blue Lion, not a Golden Deer.” He gasps suddenly, a hand flying to his mouth. “Why, are you here for a, a tryst?”

You knock on the door, louder.

Lorenz glares, wincing. “You did that on purpose!”

“Maybe I did!” you snap before reeling yourself in. You're still not completely under control after the near-meltdown from earlier (later?), and you need a breather. “Whatever. I was just leaving. He's obviously not here.”

“Who's obviously not here?”

You look ahead to see Claude leaning in the doorway of his room, smirking. The little shit.

“Claude,” you say. “I need to talk to you.”

“What you should be doing is talking to the leader of the Blue Lions about his classmate's behaviour!” Lorenz pipes up.

Claude glances at Lorenz, grinning, before turning back to Felix. “Sure, come on in. We'll let Lord Gloucester get his beauty sleep.”

You can hear Claude snickering under Lorenz’s outraged sputtering as he leads you into his room and closes the door.

His space is already a mess, his bed filled with at least a dozen books. It's not even been a full day yet. You're almost impressed.

“So,” Claude starts, lacing his fingers behind his head. “What do you need?”

Your back straightens. Right. You came to Claude for a reason, which is:

A. Tell Claude everything. You can't trust the Boar with this information, but you can trust Claude.
B. Ease Claude in slowly. Start with a hypothetical.
C. Panic. This is fucked up, this is all so fucked up. What are you doing? What is happening?

B. Find Claude

Talking to the Boar last time didn't work out well, but maybe you can talk to Claude. He's always had a mind for information— what to do with it, how to handle it, who else needs to be in the know. You respect that. Honestly, it took a load off of you during the war. You could be a sword to cut the way, without needing to struggle to decide which direction you should be pointed in. You challenged Claude occasionally, of course, but it was only to check that he was still the kind of person you wanted as a leader. He always was, as far as you knew.

For a moment, you wonder if the world where you died at Gronder is still going. You wonder if they manage to find you in the carnage, if they burn you there or try to take your body back to Faerghus. You wonder if you get laid to rest by Dimitri's side.

Probably not.

You shake your head. You need to focus. You're looking for Claude.

Where are you looking for him?
A. His room, obviously. All the students would be in their rooms right now, except you and Ferdinand.
B. The library. You wouldn't put it past him to be up all night reading even on the first day. Maybe especially on the first day.
C. Roaming the grounds. He would probably want to have a good look at the place when people aren't milling about.
D. The greenhouse. Claude did always have his weird poison hobby…

You swallow, then meet the Boar's gaze.

“I remember everything,” you say.

The Boar looks back. “Tell me.”

So you do. You tell him everything from the professor's appearance, through that year at the Academy, Edelgard declaring war, the Boar's supposed execution, five years resisting the Dukedom, the Golden Deer's reunion, pushing back the Empire, and all the way to that fateful day at Gronder Field.

“So, now you know what I mean,” you finish. “You’ll get yourself killed if you go after Edelgard like that, you understand?”

Even as you say it, though, you can see a very familiar look on the Boar's face.

“Thank you, Felix,” he says, eerily calm. “You have given me just the information I need.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, wary.

He goes for the door, not stopping even when you grab for his cloak. You end up dragged along down the hall as he speaks.

“You have given me the perfect opportunity to kill my enemy before she becomes a threat,” he says, almost proud, and it makes your blood run cold.

“Were you even listening?” you shout. “The Tragedy wasn't Edelgard's doing! Chasing after her will only get you killed for nothing!”

“She is in their ranks,” the Boar growls.

In one last ditch attempt, you reach with your other hand and grab him by the arm, digging in your heels.

What happens next is just a flash. The Boar whirls on you, eyes wild and angry. Sensing danger, you withdraw, but not fast enough. The Boar lashes out with his arm. You feel it connect, feel your feet leave the ground as you're knocked back, feel—

.

.

.

You wake up, and you are in your room at Garreg Mach Monastery. It is quiet the way it always is just before dawn arrives.

You now know enough of the pattern to understand what happened. The Boar killed you, and now you're back at the beginning.

You…

A. …scream into your pillow until you feel a little better about all of this.
B. …immediately leave your room. If you are caught in some strange loop, then Ferdinand will come out of his room again, right?
C. …go for your drawers. If you're going to be going through this morning for the third— fourth? time, you can start it by putting on some goddessdamned clothes.

Finally, the panic recedes just enough for a thought to poke through. Why is everyone wearing their Academy uniforms? What does Sylvain mean by “the first day”?

A second thought makes it through the haze.

“Sylvain,” you say, pointedly ignoring the other two people who have said words to you in the last few minutes. “What day is it?”

For a second, something flickers across Sylvain's insouciant smile.

“Uh, first of Great Tree Moon?” he replies. “First day of class? Is this a test?”

You feel the emotions threaten to boil over again. You take a deep breath, and…

A. …yell at Sylvain. This is clearly his fault.
B. …go back into your room and shut the door. You need to deal with this alone and without people staring at you.
C. …drag Sylvain into your room and shut the door. If anyone can handle you as you possibly have a meltdown, it's him.
D. …drag the Boar into your room and shut the door. Now that you know where he is, you're not letting him out of your sight.

This has happened to you before, when you were younger. Sometimes, you would tell your tutor the wrong answer, or you would have a fight with Dima, or you would be put onto the back of a horse that was much too big for you, and the ensuing emotions would simply be too much for your body to contain. That gave you a bit of a reputation as a crybaby, and after the Tragedy you finally understood how imperative it was that you stop.

However, that doesn't mean that it didn't happen. It only changed how it manifested.

“Get the fuck away from me!”

The words are out of your mouth before you can even register that you thought them, your voice loud enough to echo in the stone hall.

Ferdinand withdraws, looking worried and slightly wounded.

“If I have done anything to cause offense…” he starts.

“Shut the fuck up,” you growl. You're breathing too fast. You don't know how to stop it. “This is wrong. This is all wrong. You shouldn't be here! You’re supposed to be in the Empire, and your hair was long, and I'm—”

You died. You know you died. You try to suck in more air, but it hurts so much, like when your chest was torn open on the point of a lance.

This is all wrong.

Ferdinand now looks a bit frightened as well. You hear a couple doors opening as students warily peek their heads out into the hall, but it all falls away as the door second from the back opens, and the Boar walks out.

He looks like he did on their first day at the Academy, his uniform crisp and armor shining, his face the perfect level of expression. Right now his face is wearing the mask of concern as he walks towards you.

“Felix? Felix, are you alright?”

A. Try to explain what's happening. You can barely put two thoughts together, much less explain the profound wrongness of all this.
B. Yell at the Boar. It won't get you anywhere, but you might feel better.
C. Withdraw. You can't be looked at, you can't be touched. It's too much.
D. Throw your arms around Dimitri. You can't. You can't. You can't.

Instead of humoring him in the slightest, you walk straight past him to the stairs.

“Er—” he starts as you ignore him soundly. “Didn't you— aren't you—”

You think of turning to give von Aegir a good glare, just to make it clear that you are not about to even give him the time of day, not when there's more important things to be done, but then something strange happens.

You step back, and there's air where you were expecting floor.

Your stomach drops.

.

.

.

.

You wake up, and you are in your room at Garreg Mach Monastery. It is quiet the way it always is just before dawn arrives.

Did you just…

Fall down the stairs?

What the fuck is going on?

A. Get back up and go out the door again. You need to find the Boar now.
B. Panic. You are sure you just fell down the stairs, just like you are sure you died from a spear to your heart via armpit, but you feel fine. What the fuck is happening?
C. Go for your drawer. Panicking can wait until you at least get some clothes on, damnit.