Chryseth Keenblaze

So this guy, this guy I've been sleeping with, you know him. He's Netha's brother, not the one who's living here in Ratchet? Yeah? Him? Anyway I uh took him back in time for a little picnic and stuff, wanted to show him the Well of Eternity since it was pretty there before it exploded and stuff. Could take you TOO just a different day if you wanted to go, you know I'd go anywhere with you if you wanted?

We spent the night because it was so lovely. And then in the morning, he was a little bit... weird, I dunno. Not bad exactly. Not UNSAFE.

He said he'd like to have more of "it." I figured he meant the Well because who wouldn't like to bring some of that home with them, right, Leech'd love it, but he meant I guess more time. With me. Like he spends his time with me glancing at the sun and counting down to sunset or something, I don't really know. But waking up next to me? Not alllllll the time he said, but once in a while it might be nice.

So I offered to get us more nights in pretty places back in time, okay? Because -- because they're pretty, and it'd be neat to see them -- are you sure you don't wanna with me? But also because, well, because being with you is really important to me. Maybe I'm silly about it and it shouldn't matter like it does. M' sorry.

But no he doesn't want me going into debt with the Bronzes, not that I'd mind doing it, not like a couple of timeways every once in a while'd be a drop in the bucket compared to what I already owe em. And when I said maybemaybe if both of you were ok with it we could do a sleepover with the hawkstriders he got kind of... it wasn't a good suggestion and it wasn't one I should have mentioned without asking you first anyhow. Even if it was just, you know, sleeping and nothing more, and that was what I meant. But okay he hardly knows you and I don't know if you want to know each other, since there's nothing that says just because I like you both you've gotta like each other...

So I told him I'd think about what we could do, and that I wanted to talk with you, and he should worry 'bout what makes HIM happy. And he, ugh, you know that THING where someone says that your happiness is more important to em than their own? He said that. Maybe I've done it to you before, I dunno, and if I did and it felt icky to you I'm sorry. But honestly, I was fine with what we'd been having before -- I'm not the one who asked for more -- it's only fair if he wants more to be happy he could be the one to think about what'd do that for him!

I mean, taking responsibility for your own happiness is... it's... if he needs for me to be HAPPY for him to be happy, it's gonna be such a...

You don't do that to me. I mean you want for me to be happy and well and all, but if I'm an utter wreck and weepy and won't eat and all, you... you aren't weird about it. I don't have this responsibility to be smiles at you all the time or have the world end. I really value that, though I mean it'd be ok if you got a little upset or something sometime. It's ok to feel whatever you feel, right?

Anyhow. I just don't know. I know you're most concerned with my safety and my feeling okay, but -- but I want you to feel safe and okay and everything too. I've been worried I'm putting too much on you, making you more the center of my emotional life than you might like, and I don't want to do that. I also don't want to give you too little, or, you know...

Maybe Sooty just likes knowing we'll both be here every night. Or maybe even if he likes that, YOU don't. Or maybe you do. But I'll never know if I don't ask.

I promise whatever you want, it matters to me. But I also promise I'll, uh, chillax and enjoy. Okay? I don't want to turn this into some endless angsty upset thing. It'll be okay. I promise.