Welcome to fish.golf.
Here at fish.golf we take your privacy very seriously.
Which is why we decided to let you know that we will kindly collect any valuable information we can gather from your purposeless existence to sell it to various malicious actors including but not limited to the cops, the feds, 5 giant evil corporations and your ennemy #1 (you don't even wanna know what he's up to, but I'm telling you anyways: no good).
However: worry not! Our social engineers here at fish.golf came up with a revolutionary corporate structure which allows us and our low-wage employees to escape all responsibility.
Latest fake news
Got scammed?
Here's our tips on how to better protect yourself next time. We call these measures PPCP :
- 1. Prevention. Send us all your money so no one else can steal it.
- 2. Protection. Stop talking entirely. You can still safely share with us your compassionate love for our products and for our gorgeous CEO, Mr. Shrimp.
- 3. Circumcision. Find for anyone asking you private detail or money a way to prove their identity. This sounds annoying but if the caller is made aware beforehands it can be fun and creative.
- 4. Play certified scammer-repellent music. Studies show that they're even more effective than rodent-repellent tunes like the European anthem.
Please spend a moment to appreciate the misplaced numbers after the bullet points above. This could be an ordered list instead; however, we at fish.golf spent years mastering these tiny little annoying details to filter out normal disobedient people from a more loyal, less critical audience.
