gaydeviants

Stede lowers Ed carefully back into the tub before shedding his clothes, climbing in behind him without delay. He cradles him close, kissing his forehead. Ed exhales a sigh of relief, because despite the drama with Izzy, he’s feeling pretty damn content in Stede’s arms. They’re quiet for a while, relaxing after the confrontation.



The reality of what happened quickly sinks in, though, leaving Ed feeling panicky. "Fuck," he mutters after a few moments, letting his head fall back against Stede's chest. "I'm so sorry about all that."

He can practically hear the frown in his lover's voice when he responds. "There is absolutely nothing for you to apologize for," he insists, tucking a strand of hair behind Ed’s ear. Ed flicks the end of his tail, watching the movement.

"I was being a dick," he says, feeling embarrassed by his display of aggression. It’s a side of him he’d rather Stede not have to see. "I shouldn't have taunted him like that. I shouldn't have…" he trails off, his face feeling warm. Stede hums in question, urging him to continue. "I shouldn't have gone on letting him think we were mated."

Stede's quiet for a moment, before hesitantly asking, "do you–do you not want to be?

Ed shifts immediately in his arms, turning to face him. "Shit, no, Stede, that's not what I meant at all," he hurries to clarify, gazing into his eyes. "Of course I want to be." He knows he's flushed now, but he presses on. "Been thinking about it for a while, honestly."

Fuck it, Ed thinks, it’s all out in the open now.

Stede exhales, seeming to relax. "Oh?" he asks, his voice pitched higher than normal. Interesting.

Ed tilts his head, watching Stede carefully. "Yeah," he says, "I mean, if you want." He tries to say it casually, but Stede seems to see right through that.

"Oh, Ed," he murmurs, kissing the tip of his nose. "Nothing on earth would make me happier." Ed blinks, and Stede hesitates for a moment, looking sheepish. "But perhaps you could tell me what all it entails?"

It’s ridiculous, and Ed can't help his surprised bark of laughter, nuzzling his face against Stede's neck, breathing in his familiar scent. How like Stede to agree to something before even knowing any of the details, like he trusts Ed wouldn’t lead him astray. "Yeah," he says, voice muffled against Stede's skin. "Probably a good idea."

Stede holds him close, running a hand through his hair, letting him gather his thoughts. Ed rests his head on Stede's chest, thinking of the best way to explain.

"It's probably not unlike what humans do,” he starts, pausing to press a kiss to Stede’s collarbone. “You know, partnering up, for power, or possessions, or–”

Love.

Ed clears his throat.

“...or for whatever reason, because–because you feel stronger together than apart. And, you know, you can’t really imagine your life without that person anymore. You just… wanna be together. Ideally–er, for life?”

Ed knows it’s a lot to ask of Stede, on such short notice, and he’s about to try and backpedal, to salvage this as best he can, but–

“Oh,” Stede breathes, sounding awed. Ed swallows, glancing up at him, relieved to find him smiling softly.

“I think I understand.”

Ed holds his gaze, nodding slowly, making sure they’re on the same page. “You sure?”

Stede nods in return, a look of wonderment blooming on his features. “You’d want that? With me?”

Ed hates the disbelief he hears in Stede’s voice.

“As if there could be any doubt,” Ed replies, pulling Stede close for a quick kiss.

“So–so just to be certain,” Stede starts, sounding cautious, “this is basically a proposal, right? Are you proposing to me right now?”

Ed tilts his head, catching Stede’s eye. “Is that what humans call it?” he asks. Stede nods, and Ed exhales slowly, before asking, “if I was, what would your answer be?” He notes the flush on staining Stede’s cheeks, thinking it’s absolutely breathtaking. Best not get distracted.

Stede licks his lips, before clearing his throat and pushing his own hair from his eyes. “Well,” he starts, clearly thinking carefully, “I think–if you were asking, that is–that I would say, ‘...of course?‘” He still sounds uncertain, as if he’s sure he’s misunderstanding.

Ed can help the slow grin that blooms on his face. He kisses Stede once, breathing the next words against his lips. “Well, I’m asking.”

“Oh,” Stede whispers. He presses his lips together, clearly trying to hold back a smile, before he nods.

Ed’s heart soars. “Yeah?” he asks, trying to remain casual.

Stede chuckles, nodding more earnestly. “Yes, god, of course, yes.”

“Fuck,” Ed breathes, before Stede’s on him again, kissing him soundly.

That primal, baser part of Ed feels soothed, finally getting confirmation that yes, Stede is his. Stede wants to be his. But it’s so much more than instinct that draws him to Stede. He’s so kind, thoughtful, smart, and handsome. And at its most basic level, Stede lets him be himself. It's a truly novel experience. Stede kisses him until they’re both dizzy with it, before breaking away, nuzzling their faces together.

“Tell me how to be a good mate to you,” Stede murmurs, surprising Ed. He ponders this for several seconds before speaking.

“It’s supposed to be easy, man. But–but there’s no real set requirements, not really. It’s a partnership, a promise to each other, but each pair kinda decides what that means to them. There are some things that are… traditional, and expected, but…” Ed pauses, thinking. “Look, I don’t want you to worry about doing this ‘right’ or anything like that. Because, the way I see it, you’ve been nothing but a perfect mate to me since day one. So just, keep doing what you’re doing, okay? It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

He doesn’t want there to be any rules or expectations placed on their relationship. They have to do what makes them happy.

Stede nods, listening intently, encouraging Ed to continue. "It is important that both parties agree to it, though, and I'm really sorry I laid claim to you before discussing it at all." Ed feels especially guilty about this, since it was a point he leaned so heavily on when denouncing his bond with Izzy.

Ed licks his lips, feeling a warm, possessive spark of… something. Not entirely arousal, although that’s certainly part of it. But more than that, he feels… content. He swallows thickly, finding it difficult to hold Stede’s gaze at the moment, speaking to his chest instead. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Stede confirms, stroking his cheek. “It’s a very pleasing thought, belonging to you in that way. And…” he trails off, pausing to think. “And the way you told Izzy, plain as anything, that we’re together… It was like you were proud of the fact. Proud to be with me.” He sounds incredulous, and Ed feels a dull ache in his chest, silently cursing anyone who dared make Stede feel like he wasn’t worthy.

“I am proud of it, luv,” he says, needing Stede to believe that. “Don’t think there’s anything I’m prouder of than this.” He gestures between them before lowering his hand, resting it over Stede’s heart. “Dunno what I’ve ever done to deserve this, but I’m not gonna question it too hard. I want everyone to know you’re mine. And I’m yours. If that’s okay.”

Stede’s eyes are wet when he raises his own hand, resting it on top of Ed’s. He exhales, seeming nervous, but his voice is strong when he speaks. “Edward,” he starts, bringing their joined hands to his lips, kissing his fingertips, “of course that’s okay. And I wanted to tell you…” He pauses, kissing the center of Ed’s palm, breathing his next words against his skin.

“I love you.”

It's silent for a moment. Ed blinks, doing an almost comical double take, gazing at Stede in wonder. “You what?”

Stede lets go of Ed’s hand, so he can cradle his face and pull him in for a tender kiss. “I love you,” he whispers against Ed's lips, pressing their foreheads together. “Is that really so hard to believe?”

It shouldn’t be, considering how Stede just agreed to spend his life with him, and yet–

He can’t think, so he just kisses Stede instead, words spilling out of him as they share a breath. “Yeah–no, I mean–fuck, say it again.”

He can feel Stede’s smile pressed against his own, their lips brushing when he speaks. “I love you, Ed.”

Warmth spreads all throughout Ed's body, even as a happy shiver runs down his spine.

Love.

Stede loves him.

And…

"Fuck, I love you, too," Ed manages to reply, before they're kissing again.

"I love you," Stede repeats between kisses, seeming unable to stop himself. Ed laughs, the sound still tinged with disbelief. Not that he would ever doubt Stede’s sincerity. But he would doubt his own worthiness. It’s a thought he’d rather not dwell on, and so… he doesn’t. Not when there are much better things currently occupying him.

"Love you, too," he sighs, tangling a hand into Stede's soft hair, kissing him deeper. Stede parts his lips in invitation, and Ed wastes no time, licking past his teeth, unable to get enough. His breath stutters when Stede makes a content sound in the back of his throat, holding him even closer.

"Mmm, Ed…"

love."

The soft exhalations are punctuated with more kisses, and Ed feels like he could do this indefinitely. They're kissing deeper, their tongues brushing, before Ed yields, inviting Stede in. The intimacy leaves him breathless.

Stede cradles his face in his hands, stroking his cheek, tangling gentle fingers into his hair. He tilts Ed's head slightly, deepening the kiss even further. Ed moans, allowing Stede to take the lead. He wraps his arms around Stede's shoulders, trailing his fingertips carefully up his back. The slight scratch of his nails makes Stede shiver.

It's easy to lose track of time when kissing Stede, Ed thinks, because before he knows it they're breaking apart enough to catch their breath, foreheads pressed together.

"Mmm, fuck," Ed exhales, stealing another kiss, panting against Stede's lips.

Stede chuckles. "Fuck indeed."

Ed can't hold back a grin, going almost cross-eyed trying to gaze at Stede.

His mate.

"You've made me really fucking happy today, man," he murmurs, retreating only enough to stare into Stede's eyes. "This means… a whole lot to me."

Stede smiles at him. "Yes, it feels very momentous," he replies, twirling a strand of Ed's long hair around his fingers. "And… quite mad, don’t you think?” He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief. “I certainly don’t mean that in a bad way,” he’s quick to add, “it’s just–” he can’t seem to hold back his grin. “It’s unbelievable.”

Ed studies his face, noting the faint flush on his cheeks. It's lovely.

"Dunno about unbelievable," he teases. “From the moment you hoisted me out of that bath for the first time, I was a goner for you. I would have given you anything you wanted. And you just wanted to help.”

“Ed,” Stede murmurs, looking guilty. “Darling, of course I wanted to help. But it feels false to say that was the only thing I… desired.”

Ed huffs, shaking his head, staring into Stede’s eyes. “That’s just it, though. I knew you wanted me. You’re pretty easy to read, man.” Stede rolls his eyes. “And still, you didn’t try anything. You really are a gentleman. And a proper pirate, too, capturing a merman’s heart.”

Stede gives him a playful splash, looking pleased. “So–are we betrothed now?” he asks, glancing down at the water, not meeting Ed’s eye.

“Would that be the proper human term?” he asks, and Stede frowns, thinking it over. “Well,” Stede starts, beginning to explain the intricacies and expectations of human marriage, and the more Ed hears about it, the more alarmed he gets.

“Mating is much simpler than that,” Ed interrupts gently. “It either is or it isn’t, there’s no engagement period, no fancy ceremonies, none of that. It’s not about pleasing other people. We decide, as partners, if it’s what we want, and then… that’s it. It’s about us, making it clear that we plan to spend our lives together. And all others must respect that.”

Stede nods, looking relieved. "So–so it's like we're… married? But without all the hoops to jump through?"

Stede's told him about marriage before, and about his first mate (wife? he thinks. Was that what Stede called her?) and their children. Ed knows that Stede feels no small amount of guilt over how that turned out, and it didn't seem like Stede enjoyed his marriage anymore than Ed enjoyed his own past partnership.

"You didn't like being married," he says cautiously, but Stede grabs both of his hands with his own before he can even finish the thought.

"I didn't like having a wife," he hurries to clarify. "A wife who was chosen for me. A wife at all, for that matter, and I was a terrible husband for it."

Ed wishes Stede wouldn’t be so hard on himself. "I get it," he replies, echoing the sentiment. He squeezes Stede’s fingers, thinking of his next words carefully. “How would you feel about… a husband? That you chose yourself, then?” he asks, and Stede smiles, glancing down at their joined hands. Ed turns the word ‘husband’ over in his mind several times.

"You know, I honestly never even considered it," Stede says, a faint flush on his cheeks. “I suppose I was always aware of my preference for–for men, and I knew that was something no one else could ever find out.”

Ed frowns, still unable to wrap his head around that fact.

“I had always wanted to marry for love,” Stede continues, “but I knew I could never love a woman, not like this. And so I gave up on that foolish dream, and now I can scarcely believe…." Ed squeezes his hands, and Stede tilts his head up, finally catching his eye. "My marriage to Mary was for status. Because it was expected of me, and expected of her as well. And we both went along with it, because what other option was there?"

Ed sighs, feeling sad for the life Stede had to lead back on land, how he had to hide himself away, suffering and isolated. It's something he's all too familiar with. He leans closer, close enough to steal a kiss, making Stede smile despite himself.

"None of that matters now," Ed tells him gently, nuzzling their faces together. "We can do what we want at sea. Be what we want. We can be married, mated, husbands, whatever you want us to be. We don’t even have to call it anything, if we choose. We can just… be. Captain." He adds the last word to remind Stede of just who’s in charge.

Stede exhales a quiet, relieved breath, pressing his forehead to Ed's. "You're right, darling," he says, sounding vaguely surprised. "We don't have to follow anyone’s rules anymore. And I’m honored that you would want all this with me."

Ed grins. "Shit. So we’re really doing this, then?" He still can’t quite believe it.

Stede nods. "Yes, I think so. It feels quite mad, and I think we’re doing things all out of order, but I would love to continue this journey with you, Ed."

Ed's grin softens, while Stede chuckles, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. Ed eagerly reclines against him, resting his head back against his chest, letting his eyes flutter closed. Stede holds him, and it's quiet for a while, both of them really taking in the events of the day.

Of course, that peace and quiet can't last forever, or even for 5 minutes, it seems, as a frantic knocking on the bathroom door jolts both of them back to the present moment. Stede purses his lips, seeming ready to snap.

"What on earth could you possibly need right now?" The interruption makes Ed feel a flicker of annoyance that he quickly pushes down. Stede is the captain, after all.

The door's swinging open before Stede even really has a chance to react, and he squawks indignantly at the intrusion. Ed shifts, covering Stede’s nudity with his own body as Lucius enters the small room, a hand dramatically covering his eyes.

"I'm really sorry," he says, facing the wall. "Please tell me you're not fucking right now."

Stede sputters, holding Ed tighter. "Lucius, what could warrant such a disturbance?"

Lucius turns toward Stede’s voice, peeking between his fingers, grimacing when he sees them. "Oh god, this is even worse, somehow." Ed doesn’t miss the curious looks he throws at them, though, and he narrows his eyes, giving Lucius a warning glance.

This is mine.

Lucius takes the hint, rolling his eyes as he averts his gaze.

“No harm meant, it’s just, would you believe he’s never let me sketch him–?”

"What do you want?" Stede interrupts, sounding like his patience is fraying. Ed feels kind of amused by the whole thing now that Lucius isn’t leering at his mate, no matter how playful it may have been, until the younger man speaks again.

"There are three scary, beautiful men in the ocean, shouting at us," he says, and Ed’s good mood instantly evaporates. "They say they want to talk to Edward."

"Fuck," Ed mutters. He doesn't want to do this. Doesn't want to talk to Izzy. Would prefer to never see him again, if that was an option. It feels more than a little unfair that he has to deal with this, now of all times.

Fuck.

"What should we do, sweetheart?" Stede asks, sounding worried. "Should we… leave?"

Ed exhales a weary sigh. It’s so tempting to run from his problems again, but… "They'll follow us," he says, knowing it without a doubt. "Izzy’s stubborn. He’s not going to give up, as long as he thinks you have something that belongs to him."

He can practically hear the frown in Stede's voice when he replies. "He doesn't own you, Ed," he says, the words gentle when directed at him. And Ed knows that. It’s not that, exactly. Things were more complicated than he can currently explain. Still, he feels embarrassed to even admit that he put up with such treatment.

Ed sighs. "That’s not the way he sees it.” He pauses, drumming his fingers nervously on the side of the tub. “It was always about ownership to him. Possession. Knowing he’d won, that he’d gotten what others wanted. He thinks he has a right to me. I considered our bond over the moment he tried to kill me and left me for dead.

“But you said yourself, it must be a mutual agreement,” Stede murmurs, his confusion evident. “What does he hope to gain?”

Ed considers this. “Well, you saw how he reacted,” he sighs. “He's got himself convinced that you’ve done something to me, that I’m here against my will. I don’t know how much he actually believes that and how much of that is just… a front. An excuse, because he can’t handle what's happening. He’s not going to give up without a fight.”

Stede puffs up. "I will fight him for your hand if I must," he says seriously, making Lucius choke on a half-hysterical snort. Ed had almost forgotten he was there.

"No offense, captain, but I don't think you stand a chance against any of those blokes. They look quite fit."

"Lucius, this is hardly the time–"

"He's right though, love," Ed cuts him off gently. The last thing he wants is for Stede to get any heroic ideas. He shifts, catching Stede's gaze, reaching up and squeezing his shoulder. "How many merfolk have you killed?"

Stede seems affronted by the very thought, and sputters out an indignant, "zero, of course!"

Ed nods, holding Stede's gaze. "And how many humans do you think Izzy's killed?"

It's silent for a moment, before Stede deflates, conceding to Ed's point. "I suppose that's fair.”

"... So, how many?" Lucius asks after a beat. Ed snorts, glad for a break in the tension.

"Fuck if I know," he responds, not taking his eyes off Stede. "Plenty. More than enough.”

Stede exhales. "Well, what are we going to do, then?” he asks, mercifully brushing past any talk of Ed’s past kills. That’s not something he wants to get into today. "He's a madman, coming after you like this."

Ed sighs. His time with Stede had been healing in more ways than one. Being able to relax and be himself had been a weight off his shoulders, and he’d enjoyed not having to worry or make decisions. It was nice, letting someone else take control. Being with Stede was a much needed break, but now Stede’s looking to him for help, and he needs to be a leader once more.

"I should talk to them," he says, surprising both humans. "He probably brought Ivan and Fang, and if I can convince those two that I'm not coming back, maybe they can convince Izzy to give it up.”

Stede looks as uncertain as Ed feels, worry written plain on his face. “They’ll make him see reason,” Ed says, trying to convince Stede as well as himself.. “They have to. What I did… it’s not allowed. Any kind of contact with humans, beyond, you know, killing them, is forbidden, and I–”

“Fucked one?” Lucius supplies, shrieking when Ed splashes water at him with his tail.

“Fell in love with one,” he continues, speaking over Lucius. “It’s not something we tend to take kindly to. I mean, you saw how Izzy reacted. He wasn’t exaggerating. I’d be exiled, he would be disgraced. He'd be justified to kill me now. Honorbound, even. Any of them would.”

Stede gulps. “All the more reason for you to stay away from them, then. Who says they won’t tear you to bits the moment they get the chance?”

“They won’t get the chance,” Ed promises, reaching out, stroking Stede’s face. “I’m not going near them, I swear.”

“So, what, you’re just gonna ask them nicely to go away?” Lucius asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t think that’s gonna work.”

“Not exactly,” Ed says, already formulating a plan as he settles back between Stede’s legs. “If I can convince the others that I’m not coming back, though, that might be enough to put Izzy off. My reputation is important to him, because it makes him important, and he’d never want to compromise that. He tried to kill me because I said I wanted out. He’d do anything to make sure the others think what he wants them to think.”

Stede says nothing, but Ed can feel the tension in his body. He gives his knee a gentle squeeze before continuing.

“He’s taking a risk by even involving the other two. And the bigger the fuss he makes, the riskier it becomes. Either one of them could tell the others at any time, and then Izzy’d have to explain all of the shit that went down since we separated. He’s gonna have a hard time convincing the others I’m here against my will, no matter what he tells himself.”

Ed knows he’s not about to win any physical altercations, not against the three of them, so talking his way out of it seems like the best course of action. Or maybe the only one.

“But what of you, Ed?” Stede pipes in, looking concerned. “Darling, even if this works, the sea won’t be safe for you anymore.”

Ed waves a dismissive hand, not ready to think that far ahead. Truth be told, he’s been avoiding thinking that far ahead since he met Stede. It makes him feel on the verge of panic, sometimes. “One problem at a time, love.”

Lucius makes a face, and Ed presses his lips together, holding back a laugh as Stede glares at the other man.

Lucius takes the hint, scrambling for the door.

“Shall I tell them you’re coming out, then?” he says. Stede hesitates, but Ed nods decisively, so Stede follows suit. Lucius is quick to leave them to their privacy, and Stede pulls Ed closer for a hungry, desperate kiss before the door’s even properly shut.

“Mmmph!” Ed gasps, parting his lips without prompting, letting Stede lick into his mouth. Stede tangles a hand into his hair, eliciting quiet sounds of contentment, sounds that Ed never really knew he could even make before he met Stede.

“Maybe now isn’t the best time,” Ed murmurs between kisses, although he’s not in any rush to stop. Stede sighs, stealing one last kiss before pulling back, enough to hold his gaze.

“I guess I’m feeling nervous, that's all,” he says, glancing down. “I’m scared he’ll find a way to separate us.”

Ed swallows thickly, pressing a hand to Stede’s chest, right over his heart. “No one will ever separate us,” he says, vulnerable but fiercely determined. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you,” is all Stede can seem to think of in reply, which is just fine, as far as Ed’s concerned. He kisses the tip of Stede’s nose, before nuzzling his cheek.

“Love you,” he murmurs back, giving him a gentle smile. “Let’s get this over with, okay?”

Stede grimaces, but agrees. “All right.”

He carefully untangles his limbs from around Ed, climbing out of the tub, pulling on his fuchsia robe right over his damp skin. He rolls up the sleeves, leaning over and hoisting Ed up out of the water. It never fails to make him swoon, just a little, being carried in Stede’s arms like this. He knows he should feel helpless out of water, but with Stede, he feels safe. Stede’s always taken care of him at his most vulnerable.

He kisses Stede’s neck, resisting the urge to mark him in a way Izzy could see. Best not push it.

“Mmm,” Stede sighs, making Ed smile to himself. “Shall we?”

Ed glances back over Stede’s shoulder at the tub, really wishing he didn’t have to deal with this. Stede seems to sense his hesitancy, and holds him just a little tighter.

“I’ve got you, darling,” he promises, and Ed knows it to be true. Stede’s got him.

“Yeah,” he says, feeling more confident with that in mind. “I know you do.”