life by liz

Dating in your twenties is the most irresponsible, fun, crazy, dramatic, beautiful, weird experience. There are so many things I cringe at the though of, and yet would relive all of it in an instant. SERIOUSLY. All of it. Approaching the last year of my twenties, I have been feeling so nostalgic for what seems like, the entire month of March.

Many things about March make me feel nostalgic. It was a month in the year I’d wait so long for, the most EXCITING month. Every weekend a party, an outing, I loved March. I spent the most money in March during my 20 somethings. The fact that Ronald’s anniversary is also in March some how seems symbolic to me. Like he needed to close it out. Who would’ve thought that a month we all grew to love and obsess over, would be the same month of his passing.

You learn so much about yourself in your twenties.

I can’t imagine experiencing my twenties any other way. When I think about it now, I am so overwhelmed with sadness because it’s an era of my life I am saying goodbye to forever. At the same time, the same overwhelming feeling of being so grateful for the friends I a made, the love I felt, even the heartbreak. All the lessons I had to face, to become [me].

I used to be so easily influenced by people. I have always been of strong will. But I was so adventurous, so irresponsible, so curious. I was so in love. All the time, in love. With everyone, and everything. There is something so pure about love in your twenties. My love drove me to do everything. Jump into a dark canal in the keys while under the influence, lay on a blanket on the roof with a boom box and stare at the clouds all day, make cupcakes just because, sneak out at 3am because I had to sneak kisses (and stuff) in the backseat of a lover’s car. Jump into cars with people I just met because it was fun. Stay out all night and all day, and repeat.

I was different.

I had my heart broken so many times. Cried over boys that didn’t love me the way I wanted to be loved, then blamed myself for it. looked for love in all the wrong places. And yet I’d still fall in love.
How is that not the most pure thing ever?
Sometimes I wish I could hug my 23 year old self.

I am not sure how common these experiences are. My current circle of friends lived their twenties the complete opposite way that I did. They were all in committed relationships, or raising kids, or getting married. They didn’t date the way I did, or go out the way I did. Or even have the friends that I did. I ask myself all the time how do people learn about themselves if they don’t do crazy shit? (I realize that it is biased of me to think this way) I just don’t know how I would’ve learned so much about myself without doing the things I did.

I will admit that I do not currently posses (that many) pictures of my twenties. During the years 2011-2014 I lost about 12 phones, and I really wish I was lying. But I did manage to save some photos, and the ones I have, just really took me back.

It is truly unbelievable how fast time goes.

Learn to enjoy every second on your life. Because it goes by so fast.

❤

I need to get this off my chest.
No one ever tells you these things!
Sometimes you will get little signs from the universe. And if you don’t pay attention you will miss them. All of them.

Today I was completely moved and inspired by young women. Strangers. REAL people.

All day at work today I just kept thinking to myself “there has to be more to life than being behind a desk all day” I question why I still work there, at this point, almost on a daily basis. But that’s not what this post is about.

I wrote that I was feeling uninspired, that I was bored and unmotivated. I spent the whole day like this. A never ending loop of questions, doubts, more questions.

Lo and behold.. there it was, the sign from the universe, from God, from whatever you want to call it.

Stranger 1: She stood behind a box, holding something from Cuba, talking about her last days there and how much she missed it. She cried remembering all the things and people she left behind. She talked about how she is studying to become a civil engineer. She sounded so smart, determined, focused. I have never been so inspired.

Stranger 2: She stood behind a pink bag, talking about how she purposely placed her self in “uncomfortable, anxiety-induced situations” She did it to get out of her comfort zone. She did it to gain experience, and about how it’s been one of the best things in her life. She talked about her agenda, and how half of the year would be a blank space of “fear”, because she didn’t know where she was going to be after graduation. I have never been so inspired.

These women MOVED me. And it wasn’t because of how they looked or how they talked, or what they were wearing. It was because of the emotion that went with their words. The passion that was behind it. The dreams they are trying to make happen. All alone. All strong and resilient.

There are so many people in this world just working so hard to be someone. Working so hard to do better, live better. I know this sounds so tacky and cheesy- but there really are people that are trying to make the world a better place. If you don’t look for them you’ll never even know they existed. To be honest, I think I forgot they did. Today I am so grateful to have been reminded.

I feel like I’ve been given a sign. Like I’ve just been told a secret.

Everything amazing really IS on the other side of fear.

Here’s the thing– Have you ever done something you were so afraid to do, but did it anyway and you felt so alive? So high? So… Full?

I think that’t what it means when people say that… And I never really got it.(Until today)

I want anyone who reads this blog to know, that somewhere out in this great big world, someone is watching, and someone is inspired by you. Keep going.

Liz.

My friends, it has happened.

The age where everyone around me seems to be pregnant, getting pregnant, planning pregnancy. It’s everywhere. I am surrounded.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a cute preggo as much as the next girl. Outfit planning, toy shopping, furniture decorating, pinning all the boards, I’m all about it!! However, now that I am in a different stage of my life and I pay more attention to these things – I have noticed that there can be two types of pregnant women.. and I am scared.

Before anyone comments, please know I am not bashing or talking negatively about the subject. I for one, have been told, that I cannot comment much, because never being pregnant myself, I don’t have personal experiences. Fine, while that is true, that does’t mean I don’t have opinions.

The quiet pregnancy: You’re pregnant but only your close friends and family know. There’s no extravagant announcement on social media. You don’t make a big ordeal and you don’t demand to be the attention around every conversation. You keep things very intimate. The only ones that know the details about your morning sickness are your spouse and your Mom. (Thank you!)

The other pregnancy: Everyone know’s everything. E V E R Y T H I N G. You use the “I’m pregnant” card for whatever you please. You let yourself (and your responsibilities) go. I know where you conceived, the clothes that fits and doesn’t. You seem to be eating for a village. It’s complete and utter chaos.

People- I don’t want to offend anyone, that is not the reason for this post. I just need to understand. Am I crazy for thinking you don’t need to be SO extra?

Being pregnant is a very beautiful thing. Your body is changing, your feelings are everywhere. You’re excited, you’re scared. Hello! You are bringing life into this world! I GET being excited. And I am happy to share the excitement.

But for the women that take it a little.. too far- is it really an excuse to go crazy? Is it really something you “cannot control” What separates the quiet ones from the crazy ones? Where is the line? And how can I prepare to stay on it? I understand your hormones are all over the place, but that’s not what I am referring to. I am referring to the total shift from being normal- to lazy- to TOO MUCH to handle. I am referring to women who can’t get up from the couch to serve themselves a cup of water. (That are nowhere near 9 months) I don’t want to be one of those crazy pregnant women that lets herself go and uses the preggo card for like, LIFE. Lol. But I’ve seen this in real life. I really question “what if it really IS uncontrollable?” Are you really this needy right now? These are concerns people!!

I see so many women on social media that are such strong advocates for “owning your post baby body” “owning your preggo body” but these women, take care of their preggo bodies. They don’t completely let themselves go for 9 months. Why would they? They are growing a human!! Is’t that a time you should be more health conscious than ever before??

I have tried so hard to get my eating habits in order. Choose the sweet potato over the potato. Drink almond milk instead of whole milk. Eat turkey instead of ham. HAVE ALL THE KALE. I make healthier choices because I realized I needed to, for my personal well being and overall health. And no, I am not pregnant. GRANTED, there are days when I decide going to coldstone’s  and enjoying a cake batter ice cream is fine, but.. that’s not an every day thing. Cravings are real for non-preggo’s too!

Of course, while I am aware that not everyone cares about health, I wish they would (a little) And while I share happiness with all momma’s to be, I appreciate you special quiet ones, who don’t find the need to share all the details of your journey, and don’t worry I still have patience for you extra ones 😉

What type of preggo’s have you all been around?

-Liz

 

 

 

So I took a quick trip to Washington with hubs + family. We honestly had the best time. Walking, sight seeing, drinking, reading, eating. (Not in that order) I mean, what else do you do on vacation?

It’s funny how traveling makes everything else seem so insignificant. Compared to the rest of the world, I don’t even know why people stress so much about the tiniest things. If it won’t matter 1 year from now, quit buggin’ I love traveling.. I always feel so good when I come back from trips… Lighter. Like I released my worries into the universe and she accepted them with arms wide open, dissolving them into nothing.

We saw all the monuments, did endless museums (which by the way, were all free) WAY TO GO DC! Took a million pictures everywhere- literally everywhere. What is this a street with cars? PICTURE!! I love traveling. Most importantly, I got to spend some time with Rene, which is so hard to do these days. We are fortunate enough to be able to take random trips like this, so I really enjoyed every minute of it.

 

If you ever get a chance to visit, don’t pass it up. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever had the pleasure of visiting.

 

It’s funny how time is. “It’s all relative”

Ever heard that before?

Do we have too much, or too little time?

Is it a Virgo thing to be completely overwhelmed about time one minute and then the next, it’s like no big deal?

 

Maybe that’s just a crazy people thing.

 

Sometimes I get so down about time. Do I have enough of it? Am I making the most out of it? Am I running out of it? Will I ever have these questions answered?

 

What a strange thing to fear… Time.

 

 

 

-Liz

 

So there’s all these books written about what to expect when you’re expecting, how to be your best self, how to live your life bla bla bla. But are there any books on what to expect when you get married? Are they even accurate?

Despite all the infinite wisdom all your older cousins (who have not been married very long) and what your grandparents and single friends will tell you about what it’s like to actually be married– nothing can prepare you for the real thing.

Let’s start with the basics, I have not been married very long, and this is not a how to or a guide of any sort. This is just what I have learned in my (short) time of being married.

1. Chances are, if you’ve already been living together before you exchanged nuptials in front of your family + friends to see, nothing will change. Men just don’t wake up the morning after their wedding a completely changed person. That’s still your boyfriend, and you’re still his girlfriend, you just have shiny new rings on your fingers.
2. You’ve become a mom and you don’t even have kids yet! What is it about men in general? If the hamper is in the closet, why do you leave your dirty clothes 2 steps outside of the closet?! It doesn’t make any sense!! Fortunately for me, I grew up with a younger brother. So all the things that girls with sisters don’t learn until they’re in a relationship living with someone, I already knew about. So you’ve become a mom, cleaning up messes that aren’t yours. Oh Well! What you do for love eh?
3. You fall in love with yourself over + over + over + over.  Let me explain…. I spend quite a bit of time alone. My hubby works long hours and over night hours. I have learned to absolutely love and appreciate my alone time. In the beginning, I could not get used to sleeping alone. I would cry, sleep with the tv on or a light on, wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone, sleep for 2 hours at a time, etc. Once I even put a chair behind my door. (As if that would stop someone from breaking in)  I hated being by myself and going places by myself. I spent so much time and energy throwing a pity party. Guys I can honestly tell you, it’s so horrible to be alone and have no one to share your thoughts with. You really start to go crazy. I was spending so much time alone I started to question EVERYTHING about myself. Why was I alone? Did I purposely seclude myself? Does no one want to hang out with me now that I’m married? Am I boring? Am I getting fat?! Is there a noise coming from my balcony? Why am I drunk alone on a Wednesday night? It was a total nightmare!! NOW! Pfft! My alone time is my ME time. I put on face masks, paint my nails, listen the the same Fleetwood Mac album 20 times in a row and no one will judge me! Cook, read, write, do two weeks of laundry in one day. And if I want to have a glass of wine (or a bottle), I can! Why not!? I do it all! Now that I have become so public on Instagram, if I really need to share my thoughts– I share them! (I also, have friends, you know, I’m not a total loser) So, being married, I learned to love myself in all the ways I had forgotten to. I learned to appreciate being myself and doing all the girly stuff I used to do before I got into a relationship. Sometimes when you are in a relationship you can get so focused on pleasing your other half, you forget to do things for you.
4. You have to keep the spark alive. When you have a hubby that works a complete and total opposite schedule from you, you have to to remember to keep dating. Call out of work and have breakfast in bed when he’s off. If you make plans with your friends and he asks you to cancel them to be with him, cancel your plans. (Your friends will understand) Go on a mini getaway, just because! Wear a nice PJ to bed. Keep the dating going!! It’s so important!
5. You learn to appreciate the little things. Sometimes, you will come home and there will be a cooked meal, a taken out trash bin, and hey.. what do you know? The laundry is actually IN the laundry bin. Be thankful for these precious days! Enjoy being married ❤ It’s so beautiful to have someone to share your love with.

Love,

Liz.

Well, here I am again….

I came across this picture on my images on this site and I can’t believe all the different emotions I felt. So much, yet so little has changed between this Elizabeth, and current Elizabeth. I feel as though if i were to compare my past a present self, we actually have a lot in common!!!

I was so lost, so sad, scared, unfulfilled. Fast forward, I was happy, feeling accomplished, finally “on the right path.”

A few years go by and what do you know.. lost, sad, unfulfilled. Time goes by, thankful, accomplished, “on the right path.”

The last time I posted on this blog I was single, miserable working for non profit, living at the beach and trying to find my purpose in life. Today, I am married, a fur mommy, living in westchester, finding my purpose in life, (still miserable in my non profit job.)

Here’s the thing…. (and I’ve been contemplating this a lot) Do you EVER really find out what your purpose in life is?

Some people know from the time they can form sentences exactly what they are meant to do for the rest of their lives. Like those people you meet that are doctors, and lawyers, and astronauts that say “I always wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, an astronaut. (OK I’ve never actually met an astronaut, but you see where I’m going with this) These people are actually a very rare population. And you are not weird for not knowing yourself.

I think its amazing that some people know, I also think its amazing that some people don’t, and go most of their lives trying everything possible to figure it out. There’s beauty to both sides.

The point I’m trying to make is, there are no benefits to knowing, and there are no benefits to not knowing. The point is to enjoy life. Every bit of struggle, happiness, sadness, eagerness, all of it. Enjoy all of it. Be thankful for all of it.

I can say that after reading my old blog posts, it’s still me in here, a little older, but still the same girl finding her purpose in life, trying to take it all in. Grow through it, cry through it, laugh through it.

I’d like to say that the reason I neglected this blog is because I enjoy journaling so much more than I enjoy typing. Although that is true, that’s not the reason I stopped. I wasn’t ready to share myself so publicly. Even though back then, I only had a handful of followers, I was still afraid to be so vulnerable online. Maybe now that I’m older, and possibly “less afraid” or maybe I  just realized I really don’t have anything to lose. I’m ready.

Thanks you for letting me share with you.

Love,

Liz.

There are certain things no one really prepares you for.

For example, over the last year or so, it has been challenging to maintain the friendships I have held dear to my heart.

Once upon a time, we were inseparable. Every second we were not at work or school, we were together. For crying out loud we had a group chat before group chats were cool. I remember that leaving my phone unattended meant coming back to at least 87 unread text messages, and that was on a good day. (TRUE STORY) Every weekend was a race to “beat the sun home” and every day after that we would only plan our next adventure. Through the beach days, break-ups, music festivals, wine nights, dead-end jobs, binges, dinners, we were always there at the end of the day. A phone call away. Nothing could come between us. I don’t think we ever really had much in common, we just all loved each other so much. When I think about how we are now, it makes me a little sentimental to think, we are almost strangers. I don’t think any of us did it on purpose, I just feel so much distance has come between us the last year, its rather hard to explain.

It’s funny that the older you get the less friends you have, something that when you talk about makes perfect sense to everyone but no one ever mentioned to you as an adolescent. I guess we can all agree that all friendships go through phases, and this, I can only hope will pass soon.

 

 

I want to share the best 5 beauty products I have recently been obsessing over that you absolutely need in your life. I recently took a trip to Vegas and had to condense my make up bag to something a little less obscene than my current make up bag. I don’t travel too often so much like everyone else, I over pack and tend to take things I never end up using. These are the 5 essentials I honestly could not live without and are perfect for every day use as well.

1. The brows. I bought this right before I left to Vegas. Honestly I thought I wasn’t going to like this. I am more of a powder -fill-in-eyebrows kind of gal. But this has changed my life! This brow pencil is a GAME CHANGER for me.

       2. An oldie but a goodie. The brows part 2. If you have thick eyebrows, this will be your best friend.            It’s gel for your brows!

        3. Fancy water… in a can. Ok guys, I know what you are going to say.. You can’t believe I paid to               carry water in a can. But seriously, you will love this. I was dying of heat in Vegas and this                       can was a little piece of heaven. It’s water that sprays on you like a mist. I used it on my face                   and chest whenever I was feeling flushed.

             4. Vaseline for your lips. Need I say more?

       5. Primer!! This is perfect for when you want to wear no make up at all. I mean you can use it as a primer under your make up (that’s what it’s for) but I would throw this on with some blush, mascara, and I was ready for the day.

Did you know that Americans spend over $42 BILLION dollars on treating anxiety disorders? It affects 18% of the population and affect adults 18 and older. Approximately 40 million Americans suffer from anxiety disorders. Upon research, in my opinion and this is not statistically proven, anxiety is mostly related to stress. Stress in the workplace, school, relationships, stress in anything were the most repeated reasons/causes of anxiety I could find. If I am going to be brutally honest here, I must admit, I used to think anxiety was something made up. Something people would say so that other people would feel pity on them. Like it was not a real problem. I was so wrong… The problem with anxiety is, How do you tell people you have a broke arm, if you are not wearing a cast? It’s hard to explain to people how you feel when it is something that cannot physically be seen. Much like a broken heart… You just have to feel it to understand what it is.