Reality check

     So… it’s been awhile.  I’ve been wanting to write, but for some reason, I didn’t.  I think I’ve figured things out a bit now.  Steve’s last blog post bothered me.  At the time, my libido was probably at it’s lowest.  I made sure that we had sex once every week or two, but I didn’t particularly enjoy it.  I would have been fine never having sex again.  I didn’t know why my sex drive was so low, and I hated it, but felt powerless to do anything about it.  When he pulled me into the closet that day, I’m glad he was able to fulfill that fantasy, but I did not enjoy it.  I thought it was stupid, in fact.  I endured it, and tried to appear like I was turned on, but it was a good thing that my back was to him most of the time, so he couldn’t see my face.  During our trip to New York, my libido suddenly spiked, opening up a whole new wonderful world.  

     Having experienced life with no sex drive, I appreciated this new life all the more.  Steve and I have always had a good relationship, but the new sexual ventures made it that much better.  At some point during the last few months or so, I noticed my sex drive fading a bit, and it scared me.  I did not want to go back to where I used to be, especially after experiencing how wonderful sex can be.  Over the summer, my libido continued to decrease, and I fell into a depression.  I’ve been spending a great deal of time trying to figure things out.  

   I am sill very interested in BDSM, but it seems that Steve is having difficulty with being a Dominant, so how can one be a submissive, when there’s no Dom?  It’s very confusing. I think any submissive will tell you how devastating it is to no longer feel like you are owned.   

Here are some of the things that I have noticed.

  • He does not understand that I want this.  I want him to be my Dom, but he doesn’t seem to believe me. 
  • He reads and reads about the BDSM world, and D/s relationships, but won’t put any of it into practice.  We have young children, so the D/s stuff has to be contained to the bedroom.  So, no, I’m not going to walk around the house naked, or kneel every time you walk into the room.  That much, we agree on.  
  • He tells me to send him information on what it is that I want, so I sent him a link to bestslavetraining.com.  (Really good site, by the way).  That website spells out exactly what I want.  I want to be his sub, be trained by him, to be his toy, and to please him.  When I fail to do something correctly, I should be punished, and after I have shown good behavior, I should be rewarded.  He read a little bit of the information, but then got sidetracked onto other things.
  • He will send me exciting texts about what to expect, and what’s going to happen to me when he gets home, then doesn’t follow through.  When my libido is already on shaky ground, this can be devastating.  There were several times when I would allow myself to feel that nervous excitement about something that was going to happen that night, and then the sex would either be pure vanilla or nonexistent.  
  • He has this idea in his head that BDSM has to involve big, elaborate scenes that take hours to plan a set up.  Sometimes he has to get up early for work, and doesn’t want to do all that set-up.  As fun as those big, elaborate scenes are, they are not necessary to BDSM.  
  • Our sex scenes have fallen into this predictable pattern for the last several months.  He will have me bend over the bed, put his face in my ass, and just hang out there for quite some time.  Not my favorite thing at all, but a submissive doesn’t get a say, right?   He just sits back there, breathing deeply, while I’m laying there hoping that my ass doesn’t smell like, well… ass.  Then, he’ll want to give me oral from that same angle.  It’s not very fun to receive oral when you’re not yet aroused.  At least for me.  Anybody else feel that way, or is it just me.  For me, it’s so much better to wait until that strong urgent desire is there.  After a few minutes of that, the sex will start.  It will either be in that same, bent over the bed position, or with me on my back, with my legs around his neck.  I do enjoy that part, but it’s just too predictable.  
  • There are situations, where he asks me what I want, I tell him, and then he doesn’t believe me.  For example, regarding blow jobs, it’s way more of a turn-on for to feel like I’m being used.  I love it when he grabs my hair and pulls me toward his cock.  During 69, if I’m on the bottom, I love it when he pushes himself into me.  If I’m laying on my back, and he’s too far above me, it’s very difficult for me to raise myself up to him, and get into a good rhythm, and it’s very straining on the neck.  I told him all of this.  A few hours later, we were doing that exact position, and he just hovered above me.  It was very confusing.  Apparently, he didn’t believe me when I told him what I wanted.  
  • He recently was away from home on business for a few weeks.  During this time, he sent me certain physical challenges.  For example, one day, it was 20 minutes of planks, broken up throughout the day.  The next day, he asked if I completed the task, and I said that I had done 13 minutes of it.  He told me that I would be punished (shiver of excitement went through me) when he got home.  I jokingly said that (being a man), he would probably forget.  Using a very assertive and dominant texting voice, he said that I would pay for that.  Since he got home, he has told me that I still owe him 7 minutes of plank, but I’ve received no punishment.     

 

Bottom line is, I would very much love to be his sub, but I’m not going to put myself through this agony of being a sub without a Dom.  Until I feel that there is truly a dominant man in this house, I will be his loving wife, but not his loving sub. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before NY…a touch of bdsm?

I recently found myself at work immersed in fleeting thoughts of my wife, naked-oiled-covered in my cum-smiling-asking for more (we’ll get back to that session some other time) and it put a smile on my face. I wanted to tell someone, but who… Her brother, my brother, my sister, our friends… I didn’t have anyone I felt I could just tell everything… then I remembered – We Have A Blog!!!!! Thank you for sharing this journey… enjoy…

  • – – – 

Before our trip to NY, there may have been a hint of bdsm (lower case on purpose) in my bones!

We lived in a small house for a while and I had to remodel the bathroom, which caused my then prudish Molly to change out of her clothes into her nightgown in the most secluded corner of the room away from the window – just out of my reach beside my nightstand!! I got a horrible teasing every night for a couple weeks.

She has this method down to perfection where the gown would slide down just as the bra and pants revealed the goods and I would be lucky if I got to see anything. Sometimes I’d get a glint of cleavage, side-boob, or an ankle… I hated how good she was at this trick!!!! It drove me wild as hell!!! I eventually fixed the bathroom and she went back to changing behind closed doors. But the memories kept the images fresh in my mind,

Then we built a new house with his and hers walk in closets; and a master bathroom with his and her sinks, bathtub, shower in one big open room… It didn’t dawn on me until our first night… but here it was again… the torture of her skills!! She would undress in front of her mirror, the same unintentional teasing, sliding the night gown on as her day clothes came off.

I could have gotten mad, but instead I told her how much I hated her skills and it became a game. I would turn off the light on my side, prop myself against the wall, and tell her I was ready. She would take the challenge and seductively do the same trick with perfection, night after night. I would tell her how much I hated whomever taught her this skill, and how hot it made me just to see the movement under her gown that told me the girls were being freed from their daily bondage… and the slinking motion she made that would have revealed a fantastic ass… Oh the hell I was in. Pure torture. At times I would be naked and ready to jump in the shower, and this show would happen and I would prove to her how it made me feel … he was at ATTENTION!!!!! within seconds.

On rare occasion she would tease me with an “accidental” show of panties, hips, boob…  and a rye smile! If there are 7 layers to Dante’s Inferno, this had to be 7!!!! How was this better and worse at the same time, Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Where is the bdsm?! This is what led up to it, now to my reaction…

I started envisioning what it looked like when her ass popped out of he jeans, panties, thong (which she hated!!). How her breasts would fall out of a shirt being pulled over her head; or how they would hang perky, nipples pointing at me with her arms busy removing the shirt… I was tired of not seeing the action that I knew was occurring every morning and night, day after day… since about a month at the new house.

Grrrrrrrrr… the anger was building and I couldn’t stand it anymore! The time had come and it was NOW!

Kids were in bed, she was watching TV. I went to my closet and made space on the floor and on the opposing clothes bar. I rummaged through her panty drawer, her shoes, her jeans. I grabbed a belt off of her robe and thought of how I wanted to tie her up so that I could do what I NEEDED to do… then I went downstairs and told her I was going to bed.

A quick kiss and look was all I needed to know she was wearing my favorite jeans … jackpot!

 

I knew she would linger for a moment as she shut off the TV and laptop, checked over the kitchen, and made her way upstairs. I was ready, closet lights out, I waited patiently in the dark just inside her closet door which was across from mine.

  • – – -But would I be able to pull this off?! Was she in the mood?! Would she laugh, deny me… all she would need to do was say ‘No’ in any way and it would all be ruined as I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it if I thought she didn’t want…

 

  • – – – NO! This was about ME!  MY NIGHT! She had teased me long enough and I wasn’t going to last but 5 seconds at best with the months of built up tension… FUCK IT! She was MY ridiculously hot WIFE! and I have rights and needs and THIS WAS HAPPENING. I was going to see ‘the show’ without her tricks… NO MATTER WHAT!!!! 

I heard her steps… and I lunged.

Stepping out, I grabbed her and pushed her into my closet. “I am tired of your tricks!”… “I want to see you!”… “I want to see you NOW!” I said as I pushed her to the other side of my closet where I grabbed both of her wrists and raised them to the bar. Then I stepped back and took a moment to enjoy what was about to happen… and how good it already looked!!!

I stepped up to her, grabbed her arms just behind her elbows and with constant pressure, slowly moved my hands up her arms and down her body. Feeling her ribs, her waist, her thighs, her calves. Then I removed her socks and spread her legs.

Sliding up the back of her, lifting and squeezing her ass wrapped in those jeans I love to stare at so much. Taking a moment, squeezing… my face so close, wanting to snuggle up … squeezing and lifting. 

Moving up her back. Firmly my hands eased around her delicious neck. She raises her head and was met with a light squeeze.

My hands released and moved down and around her shoulder blades, under her arms, and to her breasts… pushing them together, squeezing, lifting firmly. Then my hands followed the fabric down to the end, sliding under her shirt, up the silky smooth belly, slowing as they feel her bra. With a little extra pressure my fingers slide under the wire, gently lifting the bra from the captives and sliding it up as her breasts come to rest in my hands. Squeezing, lifting… finding perky nipples to gently tease between my fingers.

After a moment… I WANT TO  SEE. I move my hands down swiftly, grab the bottom of her shirt and lift. Slowly revealing the landscape of her back. The shirt lifts higher until I feel the tension of her breasts tugging. I ease to the side of her to get a better view. Lifting higher, Molly raises her arms in anticipation, and I watch as the girls drop out. I catch my breath at their sight! I slide behind her, undo her bra and remove it leaving her topless in front of me. 

I ease in close to smell her neck, her back… to get another look at those jeans.

Then I place my hands low on her jeans-covered hips, squeezing her ass slightly, then move firmly up her hips, ribs, shoulders, triceps, forearms, wrists. With a firm grip I place her hands back on the clothes rod… squeezing her fingers firmly to the bar I command quietly “Don’t let go!”.

Then I reach behind me and grab the belt from her robe and begin to tie her wrists together … and then to the bar. Next I nuzzle up to her, reach around to cup her breasts and whisper “You don’t know how good you look!”.

I stepped back once again and enjoyed the sight of jeans and bare skin. It was beautiful. Tied to the rod and no resistance… so far.

I moved beside her, caressing  and enjoying her breasts. “They are beautiful” I whisper. Moving in closer for a kiss to her ribs, kissing my way inward, under, and up, lifting with my mouth, until I find her nipple. Sucking, tugging, with only my lips. Not neglecting the other, holding, squeezing, teasing it in my hand.

Now it was time. As much as I enjoyed the girls, I wanted to see her ass. But months of teasing and yearning  could not be quenched by one simple exposure… I was prepared…

I unzipped her pants and got on my knees behind her. Then my hands pinched the fabric by her knees and I slowly started pulling down. Slowly walking the beltline of her jeans, one delicious step at a time, further and further down. With the top of her ass exposed I leaned in and kissed the triangle that connected her long slender back to the curves of her ass. Pulling, I watched panties struggling to stay in place, failing to protect my eminent attack.

Mouth watering, I was engulfed in my actions. Heart pounding, eyes straining, pants tightening. 

Panties not giving up, started to stay in place as the jeans made it past the fullness of her ass. Slowly revealing it in its full glory. My chest tight, my arms working off their own accord, I was in heaven… but then

I was already exhilarated that I had come thus far and would have happily stopped there to enjoy the sight… The jeans kept going! Ass turning into thighs… thighs separated by a gap… and in that gap…  a shape distinctly discernible against wet panties. Panties have never looked so good!!!! I drooled, gulped, eased in to rub my nose and smell!!! Wow!!!

5 seconds may have been an exaggeration!!!! I wasn’t going to survive long enough for any action at the rate this was happening! But I had to keep going.

After a moment of nuzzling I regained myself. I pulled back, staying on my knees. Fingertips sliding into the top of her panties. Working my way around to the front, feeling the curly hair at the bottom of her stomach, pulling her panties into their snug and proper place. Half cheeks visible, they needed to be kissed… and they were.

Then the jeans. With a good hold, I slowly worked them back up into place, then an extra pull to lift her ass and simply enjoy the effect. A moment of nuzzling, squeezing, feeling. It was time… I just couldn’t handle the sight any longer.. I had to do more… I had to feel what this looked like. So I eased her jeans back down, just enough to expose the gap between her thighs. Next the panties, down just enough… just enough for me.

Not taking my eyes off the sight, I stood up, undid my pants and pulled them off . I eased up to my wife and inserted…   mixing my wetness with that of her panties. My dick nestled between her ass and her jeans. Kissing her neck. Arms wrapped around her, a breast in each hand. Slowly pumping enjoying the feel of soft wet panties , gorgeous ass, and her jeans…I couldn’t believe this was happening.

I couldn’t stop just yet, just one step further before the switch.

 I eased my hands away from her breasts, down her sides and into the top of her pants, pulling them down further. Re-positioning her,… a small step back… ass up… then true insertion into Molly’s wetness. Gently stroking in and out. A little tug to bring the pants up a notch. It was exquisite.

I had no choice but to keep things slow and under control… I did not want this to end. After a few good strokes I pulled out of Molly, and took advantage of her panties for a couple more strokes. Pulling myself closer to her and whispering “We’re not done!”

Months of agony! I had plans!!!

I retrieved myself from her beautiful body, pulled her panties up one more time, got on my knees and firmly but slowly pulled her jeans to the floor. Gently stepping out of them, Molly stood there, tied, just panties… and it looked good… I had to have another quick go. First just the gap between her and her panties… then Molly… but this time … pounding, knowing how good it felt and how long I could go… pounding. Wanting to cum so badly into Molly, into her panties, just relief… I just wanted more. I pulled the top of her panties down and around so that my scrotum was nestled in them, tugging on me with every pull… thrust- pull-thrust-pull. The feeling was new and wonderful …and confusing as it felt so good going in AND out, and so different….

It was short lived… I had to … had to stop before…

so I pulled out.

  • – – –

One more look at the panties supporting her wonderful ass. Then down they went to the floor and she stepped out. Now Molly was tied up in front of me… naked and delicious!

I reached behind me and pulled her sweats out from a hiding spot. I carefully bunched them up around her feet and helped her slip into them.As I pulled them up over her ass I thought the night was over… the sight pretty much put me over the edge and I’m surprised to this day that I didn’t finish just standing there… tugging her sweats over her ass, the lifting, the shape, the fabric writhing up between her cheeks, the drop when I let go… It was too much. I yanked her sweats back down to that sweet spot and in I went. Into Molly, moaning, teasing her ass back at me, my hand on her lower back training her to keep that ass turned out. The sight of her sweats hugging her thighs. The thoughts of what her ass looked like wrapped for my pleasure!!! Again wanting so badly to cum, pounding just a few more times.

At least one more switch, that’s all I could muster.

I pulled out unwillingly. Pulled the sweats up, nuzzled my face between her thighs for a moment and enjoyed the slow reveal of her ass, as the sweats came down to the ground.

She stepped out. A wondrous naked sight once more.

  • – – –

The last switch was a tricky one and had potential for resistance…

I pulled out a thong. Black, small, new. I laid it on the floor. As I helped her step into them, I figured she was watching, I said ‘I know you don’t care for thongs, but your ass is amazing and I want to see what this looks like!’.

Molly didn’t say a word.

I eased them up her thighs and put them in place. I couldn’t help myself and gave them an extra little pull to make sure they were nestled sweetly between her cheeks. The I stepped back.

NOT to take a good hard look, but to complete the outfit. Molly liked to re-iterate to me that it didn’t make sense… and she would never… wear high heels to bed. We’ll she didn’t have to … to bed… but she was going to wear them here and now in the closet. Simply BECAUSE I WANTED IT.

I placed the black high heels by her feet and without a word. I eased one foot up and in, closing the strap at the top… then the other. NOW I stood back and couldn’t believe how fantASStic this woman looked. Close to 20 years together and she looks AMAZING!!! And I said so out loud. I wanted her to know how I felt!

Now the last attack.

I eased myself up to to her, hips touching gently at first, then with more force. Watching my dick as he pressed between her cheeks, only the head visible. Ass writhing. Gently stroking, seeing and feeling her ass as we pressed against each other. Then I pulled the thin string of her thong up and over my dick, fucking her thong that framed her ass so perfectly.

Finally I stepped away, pulled the thong down to that magical spot…as if it had any chance of supporting such a wonderful piece of art…

The time had come.

The view of Molly in high heels and a thong pulled down to reveal her … this was it… I knew this was about to be over…and in I went.

The high heels caused Molly to have to bend her knees which tensed the muscles of her ass. The slight change in tone and look and the change in height was amazing. The first time in heels, the first time in a thong. I positioned my hands on the sides of her ass and started pounding.

I had enough wits for one more adjustment… I slid my hands down her thighs, below her thong straps, inserted by thumb and then the rest of my fingers and pulled them back up. Now with the thong partially up on her hips, pulling against me from below… it was time.

I kept pulling and pounding and seeing the thong. Pounding that wonderful ass. Thinking of her jeans, wet panties, sweats, gap, smell… seeing that thong and my dick fighting for their rights to be with Molly….

  • – – –

It happened… Relief came and not too soon… An explosion of thoughts, feelings, fluids… I tried to keep pounding hoping it wouldn’t stop… tried to keep moving through the convulsing spasms I couldn’t control… trying to breathe as I shuddered… with her thong around my wrists… ass pressed against me… trying to stay upright as the feelings washed over me…

Then it was over. Still inside her, I nuzzled up to Molly, kissed her back and said: ‘You have no idea how beautiful you are!’

I slowly pulled out with one final shudder of relief, catching my breath. Stepped back for one last look, while I took a couple deep breaths.

Then I helped Molly out of her high heels and untied her wrists.

  • – – – – –  

To this day, I think that Molly thought it was just a weird night and that I just had to fulfill some weird male fantasy. Not realizing SHE IS MY FANTASY, how beautiful I think she is and how she drives me wild in her “frumpy” stay-home clothes.  When I think of what outfit I want to see her in, her “frumpy” clothes are always on the list, right along with the hottest lingerie and her wonderful birthday suit.

Before the NY trip, I saw this as a once-in-a lifetime event that I only dreamed of repeating. But since NY, she doesn’t mind anything and wants whatever I can think of. We’ve since done things … let’s just say that this memory still makes me hot…

But we keep making plenty more! 🙂

 

What happened in NY did not stay in NY!

It has been an interesting couple of months. We’ve been busy with life and lust, spending less time on the computer or in front of the TV and more time locked in the bedroom and in her closet!

I am at a point where I believe Molly is truly horny and wants sex… rough sex. After 20 years of the opposite, it took a while to fathom this was true and would last. So far it is not just a fleeting thing.

My work has kept me away from home for a whole week at a time, for 8 weeks in a row now; with just a short 1 or 1.5 day weekend… but that does not stop Molly and me.

My return home would usually go something like this:

 – – – – – –

Mid-day Friday I would get a text from Molly: “What should I wear?”… I would take my time and send a reply just before turning off my cell for take-off.

What kind of reply?! One of my favorite: “Nothing! You on your stomach with two pillows under your hips, legs spread!” When I got  home, it went like this…

I left my bags in the car, went straight upstairs, locked the bedroom door. Undressed as I walked to the bed. Naked and ready I eased down the covers, revealing inch after glorious inch. Unable to control my eagerness I uncovered a wonderfully curved ass way too quickly… ready for my taking.  

And that, I did! After only a moment of enjoying the sights and amazing smells that have always driven me wild, I slipped on top of her and inside a wet and wanting Molly. At first gently rocking, enjoying the feel of Molly’s up-turned ass against my stomach. Quickly changing to pounding. Pounding away; with a mix of moaning, groaning, and creaking-of-the-bed in the air, pounding. Then I remembered she liked to be restrained… I folded her arms tightly against her. Pounding. Moving my legs outside of hers and shutting them, tightly. Pounding, pounding, pounding. Moving my arms so that my elbows kept a tight squeeze and my hands slipped under and up her shoulders. Pounding. Digging my knees between hers , spreading them for a deeper, harder, pounding. Forcing them shut again moments later. Now my weight on top, arms and legs restraining, and her shoulders…  holding them tightly… pulling hard against my erection. Pounding, panting, moaning, sweating… until release.

I rolled off, exhausted and sweating. Laying on my side I watched Molly’s muscles flex as she unfolded her arms and spread her legs to let her body relax …the breeze comforting her. Me enjoying the sights, watching her turn her face towards me with an exhausted smile.

“I missed you. Wake me up for round 2?” she said as her exhausted eyes slowly shut and all I saw was a naked body and a smile.

One position… one good position.

– – – – – – – –

Round 2 would usually commence before getting out of bed, round 3 after breakfast, round 4 with the kids occupied by a movie, round 5 that night, round 6 Sunday after breakfast. 

Sometimes we’ll have a quickie in between. I’ll catch a sight of her bent over in the laundry room… I’ll slide in, close the door and grab her, force her against the door for a quick pants-barely-tucked-down rough fuck session… no release… just fucking until the immediate ‘want’ has been met and I can go back to what I was doing. 

It’s enough to keep my hormones in check for the week, but not enough to keep my mind from distracting me with thoughts of Molly… conjuring up new ideas, positions, and costly Amazon expenses. 

Coming home for the weekend is always worth it! Even if there was no sex, just to ‘see’ her and the kids… but especially her!! 

 

 

 

Our first few weeks of BDSM

Note:  This blog is being written by both Steve and Molly.  Text in blue will indicate Steve’s writing, and the pink will indicate writing by Molly.

 

One of our biggest worries was that, after our exciting weekend getaway, our sex life would return to our old boring routine.  It has now been a few weeks, and we have been having a very good time exploring the world of BDSM.  We are treading lightly, as my husband is a little fearful of going too far and ruining things.  This post serves to bring our readers up-to-date on where we are on our journey.  

  • Steve’s job allows him to come home for lunch occasionally.  On on of these days, he ordered me up to our bathroom, had me bend over and put my hands on our tub, and gave me a few good spanks.  Keeping me in that position, he did me roughly, then went downstairs for lunch.  Even though I didn’t get one that day, it made for a very exciting afternoon for me.
  • Since we have children, we are concerned about the noise that we might be making in our bedroom at night.  For now, one solution is to play in my large walk-in closet.  It’s approximately 8′ x 8′.  He likes tying me to the clothes rod while playing and spanking.  
  •   I have discovered that one of my favorite things is the blindfold.  It’s wide and soft, and I love the feel of it being tied very tightly around my head.  Absolutely no light gets in, and having my sense of sight deprived makes the whole experience very exciting.  
  • I have also discovered that I like it rough, and in fact, have a little bit of a rape fantasy.  We have played a little with me pretending to be reluctant, and Steve being more rough, but I’d like for him to bump it up a few notches.  
  • I had about $90 in store credit for overstock.com, so we browsed the bondage section.  It was fun shopping together for things we’d like to try.  This was one of the toys we purchased.  So far, we used it once, and I think we both thought it was pretty hot.  The collar part felt more like a backward neck pillow, and very comfortable (but maybe too comfortable?).  Before placing our order, Steve did some shopping on his own and bought a few surprise things for me.  I’m still finding out bit by bit what those things are.

                                                                         Fetish Fantasy Series Position Master Restraining System with Cuffs 

  • Steve also bought a few things on amazon.  So for, I think my favorite is this.  It’s called the G-Spot Bulb Vibrator It uses AA batteries instead of the tiny button batteries, so it has more power and lasts longer.  I love the plastic instead of the rubber- it glides more smoothly.  Its waterproof, too, and we look forward to trying it out in the tub.  

                                                                       Product Details

  • Here’s another new thing we tried.  Steve bought some bondage tape from amazon.  He taped my arms, legs, ankles, and even a strip around my neck.  It didn’t stick t my hair or skin- just to itself.  I struggled a little against it, and it didn’t break.  You could, in theory, reuse it, but it reality, it gets twisted up and sticks to itself.  I guess they could possibly be used as ties later, if you want to be frugal.  

                                                                          Black Bondage Tape (JD002)  

  • Regarding the spanking, Steve has been experimenting with different toys.  He bought a crop, flogger, and paddle.  The flogger was a joke.  It was way to soft and didn’t do much.  The crop was better.  More of a sting.  Of the three, I prefer the paddle.  However,  the hand was my favorite.  Steve said it’s his favorite, too, but he likes to switch it up a bit.  

First Time Fetish Riding CropProduct DetailsProduct Details

  • We are both very curious about how hard other guys hit.  So far, my preference is to leave some marks that last a day or two, along with lingering soreness.  I’m sure my pain tolerance will improve with practice, but we’ll see.  I’m also trying to figure out if I prefer more frequent, lighter hits, or harder hits with more time in between.  Or frequent hard hits.  Lots of experimenting, but it’s fun.

 

We are still trying to figure out what works for us, and how far we want to take this, but I know that every day is exciting, new, and the best sex of my life.  I love this little “secret”  that we have.  It has brought us closer, both physically and emotionally.  

 

Just a passing thing

After 20 years of being together, I figured I knew my wife pretty well. We had found ourselves in a nice spot

  • Income
  • Family
  • Life
  • Sex – was great… or was it. At the start of our romance we ‘played’ – I had to feed my interest in toys and ways of pleasuring her! Over the last 10-15 years figured out (filtered out) a pattern that seemed to work.
    • Whereas my male brain thought of nothing else (easy when you have a beautiful wife); she generally didn’t think of sex at all.
    • I was fine resigning myself to sticking to things she did like… as generally ‘she didn’t’ like any of it .As time went on I did feel that I was able to pleasure her and I became content withOUT giving oral, showering together, lingerie, morning sex, sex in any light, even changing into her nightgown was a well rehearsed magic trick that revealed no skin… we had a good but more of a functional sex life to take care of needs.

I didn’t actually realize what had happened, until we started our anniversary trips. Even then I think we were both happy to add a little spark just for that weekend.

This being our 5th trip, I packed my little bag of goodies (a toy, ties, blindfold, oils, lotions, lingerie) that I only hoped I might get a chance to pull  out, which hadn’t worked out much in the past… but I still packed my bag.        Glad I did.

When I heard: ‘Tie me up’ I was ready. She was surprised that I pulled actual ties out of my bag… more surprised when she realized that they were our original ties from 20 years ago…and so we refreshed our sex life for that night. 

Oh boy, I had no idea what was coming my way!!!!

 

Journey into the World of BDSM- day 2

How a weekend getaway turned into a whole new experience for both of them

Note:  This blog is being written by both Steve and Molly.  Text in blue will indicate Steve’s writing, and the pink will indicate writing by Molly.

 

I’m not sure if you would call tied wrists and a few spanks on the ass actual BDSM, but that was our start.  We are taking things one step at a time.

Day 2 was fun.  Last night was the first time that he spanked me.  And sometime in the middle of the night, we woke up and made love again.  It wasn’t anything especially wild and crazy, just standard you-get-one, and I-get-one sex.  However, this morning was another first (if I remember correctly)- morning sex.  I’m not sure if we’ve ever had morning sex before.  I never wanted to, it just never felt sexy before.  Remember, I was always a lights-out kind of girl.  That has now changed completely.   

So, during the day, we did some sight seeing in New York, and saw a show, but we were both looking forward to getting back to our hotel.  That was another fabulous night.  More bondage (this time, my hands were tied behind my back), and more spanking.  Steve actually left red marks this time!  I told him I liked the red marks, which surprised us both.

Since this our second day into the world of bdsm, (can we call it that, yet?), we are hardly experts.  But I would like to share with you the changes in our relationship that we’ve noticed.  

  • We are closer.  Not just physically, but emotionally.  We seem to care about each other’s feelings more.  We are a team, and a very affectionate one.
  • My sex drive is soaring.  Going from one who struggled to get in the mood once a week, to being ready all of the time is thrilling.  
  • Surrendering control and responsibility to him is very liberating, which sounds contradictory, but somehow, it’s true.  
  • We have to trust each other completely.  I have to trust him to keep me safe, and to stay within our current limitations (which I’m sure will change), and he has to trust me to be honest with him.  

  We have started having debriefings afterward.  This is such a special time for us.  We discuss limitations, which are still in the works.  I’ve heard this is important in order to maintain a safe balance in the relationship.  So far, this seems to be true.   

   Steve is still afraid of really hurting me, and ruining our marriage.  He’s also expressed concern that I’m not really enjoying this, but only doing it because I think it’s what he wants.  My only fear is that we’ll leave New York, go home, and settle back into our old routine.  I’m determined not to let that happen.  

   My question is, how do you incorporate bdsm into your sex life, while raising children and maintaining an otherwise normal life?  

 

Note:  Not all of these blog posts will be written by me.  I promise that you’ll hear from Steve soon.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Tie me up”

Note:  This blog is being written by both Steve and Molly.  Text in blue will indicate Steve’s writing, and the pink will indicate writing by Molly.

 

   That’s how it began.  Those three little words.    I don’t know what possessed me to say them.  But there they were.  

    My husband, Steve,  and I were on a trip to New York.  We try to get away for a weekend trip every year, and my parents are kind enough to watch our kids for us.  We had no idea how beneficial this trip would be for our relationship.  Our sex life was what most would call unexciting.  My husband and I made love on average, about once a week.  My sex drive has never been very strong, and at times, it has been almost nonexistent.  This is why those three little words that slipped out of my mouth on our first night in New York shocked us both.

   He happily obliged.  So there I lay, my wrists bound above my head, naked.  Just that morning, I was too shy to even dress in front of him, and now I’m laying here completely exposed, and bound.  It felt exhilarating.  

  Earlier in the evening, while at a bar, he jokingly mentioned spanking.  I had had a few drinks by that point, and we were having a good time, so I (half) jokingly said that would be fun.  So while I was tied up, he asked me again about the spanking.  Then the other magical words came out.  Words that would be repeated many times: “Whatever you want.”  Never in a million years would I have thought that i would be in that position.  Naked, bound, and being spanked by my husband.  And enjoying it.  He only gave me a few hits, not too hard, but hard enough to leave some lingering redness.  That night was quite possibly the best sex we had ever had.  

   At some point while we were making love, I was inspired to whisper to him “I’m yours.”  He didn’t get it at first.  I think he just took it as generic words that people in love say to each other.  When I said it, it was a conscious decision to actually be his, almost like property.  I was surrendering myself completely to him.  Now, I am not what one would call a weak woman.  I am college educated, strong minded, and opinionated.  I speak my mind and will not shy away from a healthy debate.  Meek is not a word that people would use to describe me.  So why would I give myself to my husband like a piece of property?  I have no idea, but I did and I love it.  I had to reiterate the “I’m yours” concept many times over the next few days, because he didn’t understand the extent of that statement.  

    So, it looked like we were stepping into the unknown world of BDSM.  We were both exploring the areas outside of our comfort zones.  I am getting past my insecurities and the feeling that I have to be in control.  He is struggling with the idea of inflicting pain for pleasure.  We are learning these things together, and it is making our relationship stronger in process.

 

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