A Fact, is information with evidence, minus the opinion.
An Opinion, is information with emotion, minus the evidence.
Ignorance, is an opinion lacking factual information plus emotion.
Stupidity is Ignorance plus arrogance.
Arrogance, is all the above that ignores common sense ✌️
Mesmerized, I stand before such beauty. My breath softens and my mind goes mute…
Never before has such silence bestowed upon my consciousness…
This portrait before me brings such peace. The rays shooting across dewy fields of dreams, through hues of soften blues, orange with a smattering of purple.
Piercing through softened lids of flesh, I gaze across dancing straws of green. A sight never before seen, lips tug crookedly as my chin lifts to feel the warmth.
Mesmerized, I can see myself there. Feel the peace of the surrounding space, as if transported across this grey void and into a breathtaking place.
I reach out, the touch of a un-giving cold pours through finger tips. A blink, then back to reality that such a beautiful place, only exist within the confined lines of it’s frame. Never to be poisoned by the existence of the untamed.
SSMD
Morning dew touches my toes, the cool green grass lightly scratches the underside of my footing. One deep breath in, then slowly exhales. I feel at a loss and this seems to be something that occurs more frequently than one should have to endure. What kind of loss? The kind that takes a therapist!
At times I know what needs to be done, then my brain scrambles and I am at a stand still. When I feel and think I am making great progress, it all comes crashing back at my door again, setting me back to square one. I wish I knew how to heal from this, thought I had…
I just wish I could let it all out. The years of gaslighting and emotional turmoil replays and I just want it to forever disappear. I have admitted my flaws, my wrongs and have accepted my fate .. it churns my gut and boils my anger that they..still to this day see no wrong in all that they’ve done. I accept blame but, only because I know I had done wrong but man, if only it was known as for the true reason why…
I fear that the denial of this one, will rear it’s ugly head in the future and I will still be the one to blame. I fear that I know not the truth and that my most heart felt love betrayed me and filled my knowledge with all falsified facts. Still, to this day, who do you believe?
I once felt at the top of the world, six months wasn’t long enough to escape from my twisted, forbidden thoughts of my past. It haunts me every day and I have to pretend it no longer bothers me. Eats at my sanity. I am tired of faking it till I make it. Help is out there but so far from my reach. I’m too rich too help and too poor to help myself!
I know not what to do next…
I only know I feel hurt and angry and sad and lost ALL the time now. I smile..it feels good but the hurt is still present. I laugh, but it’s forced..
I never knew how it would feel but, now I do. They might not have noticed or thought how such an act of blatantly admitting they marked you as read, then forgotten …when infact you were ignored! To know that they admitted to another, this is as far as the future gets ..knowing isn’t always a good thing. Especially for one as broken as me..
I am in an unknown place, yet it’s so familiar…
I check in periodically but, must admit that I have certainly neglected my masses of eccentric literature. Not to mention my own, causing the largest traffic jam of rumination and writing material. All of which was not intentional, so writers block was not an issue here. I’ve done a fair amount of jotting down formulated ideas but, upon the changes that have taken great measures in my life, they were lost.
On that note… I apologize for such a lengthy sabbatical and albeit not by choice, it was most entirely necessary in order for me to stay focused upon the reality of my dark world that I had fallen into, in order for me to make the much needed changes that have been made. I had no time to sit and drift into my escape of writing, as for it would have not been joyous, nor could I focus long enough to create anything legible. In much easier context, I was a complete horrific disaster. Mid-life crisis was defined perfectly through this life changing process.
Time races by
No rewind within sight,
swimming with the tide,
struggling with all my might,
a broken mind,
strangled and tattered was my heart,
knowingly from the start,
my sanity would get left behind,
lost and and stranded,
a new path demanded
Now I sit here in a new light, wondering from time to time where this new path will take me. What unknowing new adventures lay in front of me, waiting for my step forward, ever so patiently. This new path has not been an eassy one, nor a kind one but, nonetheless, it was that was inevitable. I had grown accustomed to waking and feeding upon animosity, angst, remorse and negativity, that life within me and around suffered a lethal storm, a seemingly never ending dark abyss. I had become someone that no one had recognized anymore, not even myself.
Hopefully, in time, my mind will recover and be able to formulate mass bubbles of creativity once again… Positively and patiently awaiting the moment that my mind can actually stay focused upon one thought process at a time. I cannot seem to keep my mind on track for longer than a few moments before getting overloaded with a jumble of ruminated thought bubbles. In the mean-time, snippets and tid-bits will have to make due…
Kricket/SSMD
(Part 1)
Bound to all four bed posts, each limb stretched with a mere give. Black silk shielding her sight as a sweet melody fills her ears with a subdued effect.
A soft breath draws in slowly as her back arches, feeling the softness of something tease the flesh of her abdomen, making her muscles clench and her restraints tighten. A soft moan escapes her lips as he trails a peacock feather down the crevice of her thigh and over her moist, wanton fleshy mound.
He watches her lick her lips as anticipation surges through her body, pleased with how her body is starting to sheen with a glow, nipples erect and her chest slowly heaving with each stroke of the teasing pleasure.
No sense of touch. No sense of site. Her body singed with a heat that vibrates her very core. Silence fills the room, only sound is the panting of her wanton as he steps away to watch her squirm in anticipation.
Her breath hitches, vibrant heat explodes from her right nipple, spreading ripples of euphoria straight to her dampened center. Another hitch of the breath and a bitten lip, her left nipple now accompanies the hardened peak of her right.
The smell of leather, nipples concrete, heart expelling is sense enough to know he’s moved onto more pleasurable instruments than a feathery tease.
Heart accelerates, sweat beads across her goosebumped flesh. A man escapes through her lips before another lashing paints her wanton body.
Restraints tighten as she arches with ecstasy and nibbles at her bottom lip waiting for more. Waiting for it to bring her to that ultimate level of orgasmic bliss that he is so deliciously feeding her.
Her moans muffled by the music that fills her ears, is music to his. A glimmer of satisfaction stretches across his lips as he watches her climb higher, closer to her euphoric state with each blissful strike he feeds to her greedy body.
Just as he lands a blow to her inner thigh, her entire body clinches and she belts out in colorful bliss, begging him permission to release all this built up, ready to explode and disobey without permission orgasmic tidal wave he has concocted from within her. “Please, Sir…” Escapes through begging lips and a heavy breath.
Krickets Ramblings 