Dark/Triggering/Bad RP/Writing/Art Prompts

every time i get a lil' in my head recently (this month has not been great bone/joint pain wise) i ask myself if i'd rather be experiencing this july or last late july/early august when the whole itch.io thing was going down

and lol, lmao

(this one, easy) (at least there's a mega fuck ton pain killers, and so far one measly motrin seems to be doing Enough when i'm actually in a bad place)

gotta keep it in perspective!

--

SPEAKING of keeping it in perspective i was going down a wiki hole of fucked up medications i've had :D (lol).


( ( cw for very light medical / anesthesia / war story talk) )

drawing a bunch of hands for this doujin (technically mine, through a self-insert) - keen eyes will notice i give myself quite large knuckles.

and it's making me remember one time i was at one of those fancy charity dinners for us/with a bunch of disabled kids (this one was for the hearing stuff. i had a lot to pick from).

and a boy, most of the kids there were eight-ish? ten? next to me in the lull of conversation point blank said: what's wrong with your hands?

definitely remember looking down at my hands like ?? eh? what do you mean? i wasn't... mad. i don't think i even really reacted much more other than a head tilt until the conversation moved on naturally. wasn't quite amused. bemused? puzzled? mostly i remember to this day the next distinctive thought was: huh, guess this kind of thing/comment can even happen here [aka among people who kinda should know better] i guess.

sometimes i still think about him. hope he doesn't remember it; while a smidge of temporary shame isn't always a bad thing, i don't wish the deep mortified permanent shame on anyone especially when sometimes kids don't have a filter yet. god knows i've done a few of those moments.

but since then i've always actually liked those knuckles, maybe slightly out of that contradictory whim. there's other parts of the body i've struggled a lot more with; but i've always liked my hands.

(funnily enough during my gunter fire emblem binge that re-affirmed that powerful affection; since then i've always thought of 'em as my old man knuckles, heh. there's also my favorite artwork by andreas deja, animator of jafar - when he was doodling out gestures of that character who had the exact same kind of hands; that artwork might be in the running for favorite piece of all time.)