About Me: A case study

Client: Melissa, author of Psychobabble

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Presenting Issues

  • Client reports doing her best to cope with a post-Covid world that expects her to interact with humans on a regular basis.
  • Client reports perimenopausal brain fog, inability to wear pants on a regular basis, and intermittent crippling anxiety.

Client History

  • Client is a mental health therapist who enjoys connecting with people one-on-one in a clinical setting, long walks on the beach, and Freudian slips.
  • Client reports being born and raised in Northern California and desperately misses it after relocating to the Portland, Oregon area.
  • Client began blogging in 2012 in an attempt to find a healthy creative outlet while simultaneously filling the hole in the heart of her wounded inner child.

Mental Status

On a good day, Client can string together words to form complete sentences, can prevent her two children from killing themselves or each other, and can take a shower. On average days, she demonstrates questionable judgment by watching serial killer documentaries on Netflix while hiding under a weighted blanket.

Client presents as moderately manic at times, especially when rage-cleaning the kitchen while binge eating cheesy blasters and muttering obscenities under her breath.

Client is only a danger to herself or others if there is a shortage of cold brew coffee in her household.

Diagnoses

  • Severe Theobromine and Caffeine Dependence, Type I
  • Social Anxiety Awkwardness
  • Moderate Introvertism
  • Acute Inability to Adhere to Social Norms

Treatment Plan

  • Blog regularly, with additional middle-of-the-night rants as needed.
  • Continue daily non-dairy ice cream regimen.
  • Attempt to wear pants at least three times per week, weather permitting.

Now eat this frozen Snickers bar and call me in the morning.

71 responses

  1. Now I really like you! We have a lot in common, not to mention I live in Corvallis. And I miss northern Cali more than anyone will ever know.

    Reply

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  7. Love your blog!! Love the insight from a therapist. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are both therapists and it seems I can never get enough of their stories, insight, and perspective. Looking forward to reading more of your posts!

    Reply

  8. Hey, You, came to your blog via word for worms…just wanted to say I admire your style of writing…funny and serious is a great combination.

    Reply

  11. I just happened to stumble across your blog…and was immediately fascinated…thought I was the only marginally insane person around :) I only had to read your about me…and I was smiling already :) nice blog, I’ll defo stick around and read more :)

    Reply

  14. Just found you and now I am never letting go…. wait, that sounds terribly creepy and slightly insane. I work in child welfare.. my kids are your clients. We could share a book list like no other. Thanks for making me laugh. I have three cats and I sing to them daily. I had to get rid of my bed frame and put the mattress on the floor so they would stop hiding every time I tried to sing to them. Since we removed the bed frame one has taken to licking the blow dryer.. while it is on. Apparently I have that effect on cats. Thanks a bunch for the laughs!

    Reply

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  19. Hallo! I can’t find your contact details, but I wanted to send you a message. I’m putting together a blog entry on mental health professionals, blogging and personal/professional identity. Wondered if I could mail you for a few thoughts?

    Reply

  22. I’m here to stalk you courtesy of Le Clown. Good deal on the newly acquired license!

    My 19 year old daughter was drugged and raped in August. Thankfully she FINALLY began regular sessions with a therapist, courtesy of her university’s health care clinic. She is doing so well :)
    Moi also suffered a sexual assault at about her age. Never reported it or received help.

    I applaud you, it must be horrible and hard on your psyche to deal with victims of trauma each day. A cat always helps. Not to mention the cheese. Mmmmmmm cheese. Especially during crap TV shows.

    Be well and take care of yourself. You are an asset to humanity, truly.

    Reply

  23. Love the pic and the about. I wish I could be funny, but I’m not. Too intense I guess. Oh yeah, I’m over from Le Clown. He does have good taste. Keep it up. You made me laugh. Thanks :-)

    Reply

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  34. I am an official armchair psychologist and one of those examples of how a little psychology knowledge can be a bad thing. I love analyzing everything. I’m currently reading The Psychopath Test. It’s fun when people at my workplace ask what I’m reading and then slowly back away when I tell them.

    Reply

  35. Thanks for liking a recent post of mine – I’m glad I found your blog! Love it and will definitely be stopping by often. And PS congrats to you and Brian!

    Reply

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  39. I was hanging out with a wee baby this afternoon and I could NOT stop staring at him and making faces and cooing noises! Yes, babies have the power to transform me into some sort of human pigeon.

    Reply

Babble at me: