Heteroflexibility? These Straight Guys Better Learn How to Do the Splits by the End of Pride Month

Woman Buys Car Just for the Extra Storage

‘They Did This on an Episode of Glee,’ Whispers Woman About to Have Gay Sex

How to Enjoy Their Company Even Though They’re Not a Movie and a Big Popcorn

CIA Psyop? Every Member of Woman’s Family Asks When She Having Kids

Woman Who Says ‘Go Big or Go Home’ Should Really Choose Going Home Occasionally

Inner Child Mostly Impressed You Haven’t Been Sucked Into an Escalator by Your Shoelaces Yet

Aw! This Woman Followed Her Heart Even Though She Has Zero Sense of Direction

How to Take up Space as Well as the Average Trader Joe’s Customer

REPORT: Iced Coffee Lasts Either 13 Seconds or 3 Days

Woman Checks Her Personal Email at Work and Her Work Email Never

REPORT: Everything Shower Must Include 7 Minutes of Sobbing to Count

How to Take Charge of Your Life by Wearing a Matching Set

Inspiring! This Woman Overcame Her Writer’s Block to Leave a Scathing Product Review

REPORT: Run Club Going to Get Fun Any Mile Now

REPORT: Job Mostly Entering Passwords Into Various Programs

‘You Have to Spend Money to Make Money,’ Justifies Woman Buying 50th Throw Pillow

Soaked, Stained Toilet Plunger Deemed Clean Enough for Cabinet

REPORT: $50 Pretty Much the Going Rate for a T-Shirt Now

Wow! This Woman’s Secret to Not Letting Her Produce Go Bad Is Just Fucking Eating It