Bits of Fics

This story is not connected to my other Underfell fics here.

Papyrus used to be adorable.

It might be one of his best-kept secrets - that and the rest of his past. Papyrus is strong, fierce, respected and feared by every monster in the town he's chosen as his territory.

There are no signs of the cheerful mercy he showed as a child.

Sans has made him bury them all.

MERCY is a weakness, the Underground teaches, and the Golden Rule is Kill Or Be Killed. Papyrus didn't want to learn those lessons, but Sans forced him to, pushed and goaded and drove him till he was shaped into the monster he is today.

Sans is proud of that. Really. He's the reason that his brother went from a friendly child to a violent Guard and he's so proud of himself he could scream, could throw up, could throw himself off a bridge.

He doesn't know if Papyrus would stop him if he did. Oh, Papyrus stops other monsters from killing Sans, because Sans is his -

Sans is his, so he's the only one allowed to kill Sans. Meaning Sans isn't.

There's his answer, then.

They don't interact much, for all that they're brothers who share a - who live in the same house. Papyrus never sets foot in Sans' room. Sans doesn't see much point in hanging around in the living room when Papyrus always chooses what's on the television. Meals are left on the table or in the fridge, and on the rare occasions when they end up eating at the same time, there's no conversation between them. (There used to be, but it was all Sans making fun of Papyrus' cooking skills because what else could he say that wouldn't risk making Papyrus soft, till one day Papyrus decided he'd had enough and -

Sans really taught Papyrus well.)

They see each other more outside, Papyrus checking on Sans and yelling at him for not doing his work. For sleeping while he's on duty. For suggesting that they skip this shift to build a -

No. Sans never suggested they build snowmen. (Papyrus had, years ago, before he learned that Sans would use the offer to make fun of him (he had to, he had to, if Papyrus was weak like that in front of anyone else he'd never survive it) and stopped - but that was years ago, when he'd still had some kind of hope in his brother.) Sans had suggested they skip and go to the bar together, because where else could they go?

Stupid suggestion, he'd earned the blow it gained him - what the hell would they have done if Papyrus had been stupid enough to agree to it? (Gotten into a barfight big enough to get them both banned from Grillby's, probably, and Papyrus would have blamed Sans and Sans would have blamed Papyrus and - it was better they hadn't.)

But this time it hadn't been Papyrus coming to yell at Sans, and Sans had been prepared for the sneak attack (he doesn't sleep nearly as deeply as Papyrus seems to think he does) but Papyrus hadn't realised it, and it had turned out that attacking Sans had just been bait to put his brother offguard for the attack that -

Papyrus isn't dead. Their attackers are, dust turning the snow to dirty slush, and Papyrus had just stood there with a look of distant curiousity for a moment as his LV rose and then crumpled, unconscious.

That was nine days ago.

Nine days ago Sans had dragged his brother home, cursing everything under the mountain. Nine days ago Sans had dropped his brother on the living room floor and double-checked the windows were blocked before he dared heal the worst of the injuries Papyrus had received (he had to, they'd have been crippling even with the boost to his LV, he wasn't giving himself the grace to be weak that he'd never once given his brother he was just doing what he had to). Nine days ago Sans had left his still-unconscious brother on their floor and gone to Grillby's, expecting to come back to his brother hiding in his room, hoping to be drunk enough to be cruel if Papyrus was foolish enough to turn to him for comfort.

Nine days ago Sans had staggered home to find his brother still lying where he'd left him,completely unchanged.

(He wants to pretend he didn't kick him. Wants to pretend he didn't mock the childish attempt to gain sympathy that no one would spare, wants to pretend he didn't end up screaming at an unresponsive body for daring not to act the way he thought it should.

He can pretend all he wants. There's no one awake to call him on his lies.)

Seven days ago Undyne stomped up to the house to find out why Papyrus was ignoring her calls, and Sans couldn't stop her (he didn't think she'd help, he didn't ignore all those lessons he beat into Papyrus' skull again and again about being unable to rely on anyone but himself, he didn't let some half-baked idea about 'friendship' fool him into trusting her with his brother, he didn't).

Undyne slammed him into the wall, demanding explanations, and Sans told her what had happened. She listened, lips curled in her usual snarl, and then dropped him to the ground like trash. "Shame he dusted them - if they could do this to him, they'd be better guards than he was," she sneered, and Sans' fists ached (because she was dismissing his survival, it was fury, not because she was dismissing Papyrus, it wasn't betrayal).

She turned on her heel and was gone before Sans could get his fingers to unclench. Be stupid to pick a fight with the Captain of the Royal Guard, only sometimes his body doesn't listen to his mind, sometimes his magic follows the stupid intents and he has to remind himself that he doesn't want to die.

He doesn't - he's never told himself he has to stay alive for Papyrus. Never. Not once.

He needs Papyrus alive to keep the other monsters off his, Sans', back. That's why he spent the evening of that day carefully feeding his unconscious brother - no weakness of family affection here, just pragmatism. He's much better off with Papyrus than he would be looking for a new protector, so it makes sense for him to try and keep his younger brother alive. It's not like Papyrus would want to die.

It's not like Papyrus hates gaining XP and LV, still, all these years after Sans beat the weak MERCY out of him.

It's not like comas only happen when a monster's magic responds to their deepest wishes for nonexistence. There are plenty of other causes, and the only reason Sans can't think of them offhand is because he's not a doctor.

It's not like Papyrus would give up just because there's nothing here worth holding on for.

It's not.