McSweeney's Internet Tendency
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Short Imagined Monologues
I’m Cyclosporiasis, the Explosive Diarrhea Parasite, and I’m Pivoting to Music
“When I’m not busy making people poop so bad they wish they’d never been born, all I can think about is lyrics, chords, interesting little beats and sounds. I find inspiration everywhere. As a global parasite, I’ve been fortunate to be exposed to countless different cultures, traditions, and types of bathroom tile.” -
My Critics Are Missing the Nuance of My Membership in the Wealthy People Hunting Poor People for Sport Club
“Over the last couple of years, I’ve been focused on making a positive impact on how the future unfolds, especially in tech, AI, and which areas of the body outside the neck can cause you to bleed out with the right shot.” -
John Moe's Pop Song Correspondences
A Letter from Mick Jagger to the Devil on the First Draft of “Sympathy for the Devil”
“Thanks for all the success you’ve granted me and the lads, Luci. Must say we were surprised that you didn’t want our souls in return, just a chance to write a song together. But great!” -
President Trump’s Mind Is Too Advanced to Be Constrained by Reality
“What some have mistaken for confusion is actually a revolutionary new style of executive thinking that refuses to be imprisoned by cause and effect, which the president has correctly identified as a Marxist concept invented by woke Islamist radicals.” -
We Believe Pregnancy Is a Magical Time in a Woman’s Life, So We Designed the Shapeless Maternity Sack™
“As a purveyor of maternity attire, we feel pregnancy is sacred, divine, and an opportunity to celebrate the beauty of e-commerce by repurposing fabric originally intended for sails on a line of girly sailboats and re-dyed circus tents.”
Trending
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July 7, 2026If Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator
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July 1, 2026The US Constitution Is for Simple Folk Still Burdened by the Belief That Words Have Meaning
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June 11, 2026AI Economics for Dummies
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July 8, 2026Why Can’t the Left Understand That a Politician’s Mysterious Illness Is Between Him and His Doctor?
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July 10, 2026My Critics Are Missing the Nuance of My Membership in the Wealthy People Hunting Poor People for Sport Club
Latest from Carlos Greaves
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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July 9, 2026Reset Yourself
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July 7, 2026Reviews of New Food: Rice Krispies Treat Strawberry Ice Cream Sandwiches
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July 6, 2026An Interview with Dave Eggers About His New Novel, Contrapposto
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July 5, 2026Democrats Need to Win Back Voters by Becoming Republicans
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July 1, 2026July 4th
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June 29, 2026Reviews of New Food: Bush’s Rocket Pop Flavored Baked Beans
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June 26, 2026McSweeney’s Books: An Excerpt from Our New Book, Documentary Now!
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McSweeney's and Broadway Video present the official over-600-page comprehensive companion book to IFC's Documentary Now!
Recent Posts
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July 9, 2026Tom Waits White Noise Sound Options
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July 8, 2026Why Can’t the Left Understand That a Politician’s Mysterious Illness Is Between Him and His Doctor?
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July 8, 2026Let’s Drive This Friend Group Right Into the Abyss
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July 7, 2026If Only There Had Been a Sign That the Face-Melting Nazi from Indiana Jones Wouldn’t Make a Good Senator
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July 7, 2026Novel GLP-1 Receptor Agonist Delivers Transition to Astral Plane
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