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Riley
Pirate Wires
1,051 posts
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Riley
Pirate Wires
@rylzdigital
professional word writer @PirateWires
ATX-LA
piratewires.com
Joined December 2023
556
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1,560
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  • Pinned
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Mar 5
    For the past few weeks, I've been pretending to be a volunteer for UHW to help them seize billionaire assets. I attended a "training" full of boomers who don't know how Zoom works and harassed Trader Joe's moms who wanted nothing to do with me. This is my story 👇
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    Pirate Wires
    @PirateWires
    Mar 5
    NEW IN PIRATE WIRES: I Went Undercover as a “Signature Collector” for California’s Proposed Wealth Tax The union-sponsored California Billionaire Tax Act ballot proposition needs nearly a million signatures to appear on ballots this June. We here at Pirate Wires have written at
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Aug 15, 2025
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    Governor Newsom Press Office
    @GovPressOffice
    Aug 15, 2025
    LONG LIVE THE FREE STATE OF CALIFORNIA!
    256K
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Nov 10, 2025
    lmao cool, neither one is hiring you. in other news, i would rather date sydney sweeney than scarlett johansson
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jul 15, 2025
    Replying to @yashar
    you'll never guess where he connected the cables to in the first take
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jul 9, 2025
    my tweet history
    This post is unavailable.
    29K
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Nov 14, 2024
    *sliding in AOC’s DMs* Saw you got rid of “she/her” got room for “I/me”? *deletes*
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jan 9, 2025
    It’s sad when someone’s house burns down even if they weren’t poor
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Nov 15, 2025
    Replying to @BillAckman
    thx bill, this is "peak rizz" just tried this at the cafe and had 7 different women call the authorities, which i understand is a common way of playing "hard to get" (i'm now banned from the cafe)
    28K
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Mar 25, 2025
    snow white's opening weekend numbers are looking uglier than those CGI dwarves... some thoughts on the train wreck from today's pw daily 👇
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jan 29, 2025
    something to consider as trump’s birthright citizenship EO makes its way through the courts? covert organizations like “USA Happy Baby” importing tons of pregnant chicks from china as part of a birth tourism scheme! fun trend I wrote about in the daily 👇
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jul 29, 2025
    Replying to @jarvis_best
    According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution. But once you try a sip of Syd's new tequila, you'll never go back to that cheap liquor store garbage. Introducing the booze to end all booze brands: THE FINAL SOLUTION by Sydney Sweeney.
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Sep 24, 2024
    Cards Against Humanity could have been the first drunk party game ever played on Mars. Instead, they chose the approval of dudes with neckbeards. My take from today’s Pirate Wires Daily 👇
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Jun 13, 2025
    unbelievable. palantir just hacked my phone and texted "i still think about you bby 😘" to my ex
    8.4K
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    Riley
    Pirate Wires
    @rylzdigital
    Oct 16, 2024
    Kamala isn’t “pandering” to black men, it’s called creating an opportunity economy. (side note: anyone wanna buy some Coconut Kush? free NFT w/ every ounce) Sparked up this take for today’s @PirateWires Daily 👇🍃
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