Last week, Josh Nudell (whose blog “Noodlings” I read quite frequently), commented on my distinction between writing as habit and writing deliberately. He suggested that for him, getting into the habit of writing helps him create a space (and time) where he can write more intentionally. I understand this.
For me, the challenge isn’t making time to write. Since the very end of my graduate school career, I’ve always managed to make time to write. In fact, it is so baked into my daily and weekly routine, that when I don’t write, I get anxious and distracted and feel off. Most of my daily writing appears on my blog or, increasingly, in my little notebook. Even as I take time to handwrite in my little notebook, the output is mostly low level writing and reflects what I consider to be low level thinking. This means it’s thinking without the benefit of research, revision, or careful consideration. In many cases my writing here represents “warm takes” conjured on walks, preliminary drafts of more serious work, or “speculatin’ on a hypothesis.” While writing in my notebook involves a more deliberate choice, when I re-read my entries, they strike me as even more casual (and careless). It turns out that even when I try to write deliberately and push myself to handwrite in a notebook, my habits of writing to write remains strong.
I reflects my tendency to write to scratch the itch to write. The problem is that over the course of a year, writing in my notebook and blog can absorb a tremendous about of time (and words!); I often write around 130k words per year here and another 30k or so in my notebook.
Recognizing the amount that I write (which represents around 2 million words over the lifetime of my blog) has given me pause. Every day, I spend an hour or so diligently pecking away on my keyboard or scratching in my notebook. Over the course of a week, a month, or a year, this adds up. It’s time when I’m not reading, not preparing my classes, not writing for a professional audience (or really much of any audience to be honest), and not “being present.” It is sobering to realize that a significant percentage of this work is habitual writing and not driven by any greater goal than this is what I do first thing every morning.
What really brings it home is comparing my blog and notebook to my academic output (which is my job and, among other things, the basis for my salary). Over the last 20 years or so, I’ve probably managed 400k words of professional, published writing. That’s about 20% of my total writing work over this time if I allow for a generous overlap between my blog and my scholarly output. When I exclude, say, 20% of my academic writing as template driven and habitual “blah, blah, blah,” the numbers become even more bleak. The amount of my writing that represents deliberate, purposeful, and meaningful prose is even lower still.
Of course, I understand runners train many more miles than you race. We read many more books than we love. We practice more than we perform. Our habits prepare us to do things well when the circumstance demands it.
That said, humans are also prone to excess (as we are reminded daily in the media) and sometimes doing things just to do things isn’t really justifiable. When I think about my writing, I fret that my habit doesn’t justify its cost.


