Day: September 22, 2017

Lame Excuses

Fandango7 Comments

IMG_2655“Excuse me?” he said to his wife. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me,” she snapped back. “I said, ‘I want a divorce.’”

“You can’t be serious,” he said. “What did I do now?”

“The very fact that you can ask that question says it all.” She was really pissed. “Did you plan anything — anything at all — for our 10th anniversary?”

“I’m working on it,” he said, a little sheepishly.

“Working on it? It’s this Sunday. Our anniversary is two days from now.”

“I know when it is, but I’ve been really busy at work.”

“You always have one excuse after another,” she said calmly. “Well, I’m tired of it. I’m tired of you taking me for granted. I’m tired of all of your lame excuses.”

“Well excuse me for working my ass off to provide a nice house for you and the kids, food for our table, clothing for the family. Excuse me for giving you nice things and trying to make your life easier.”

Now she was livid. “That’s what you think I want from you?” she asked. “Things? No, that just seems to be all that you’re capable of giving. But that’s not what I want. That’s not what I need from you.”

She turned around, her back toward him, so that he wouldn’t see the tears streaming down her cheeks. “So excuse me,” she said, still facing away from him, “but what I want, what I need, is someone who loves me, who cares about me, who wants to spend time with, and who shows me how much I mean to him.”

Then she turned around, looked deeply into his eyes, and said, “And either you won’t or you can’t. So excuse me, but I don’t want any more of your excuses. I want a divorce.”

A New Leaf

Fandango13 Comments

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“Turn over a new leaf” is an idiom that means to begin again, to start doing things differently, to reform, to change.

Curious about the etymology of that phrase, I conducted an intensive Google search. I  was sure that my investigation would inform me that the expression related to the changing of seasons. After all, the phrase does conjure up images of a leaf on a tree, the old leaf falling off in the autumn to be replaced by a new leaf in the spring.

A new beginning. A fresh start. A new leaf. Right?

My research indicated, however, that the origin of the adage has nothing to do with seasons, leaves, or trees.

One site said the turn of phrase dates back to the late 16th century, when pages in a book were often referred to as leafs (not “leaves”). Thus, turning over a new leaf is another way of saying “turning to a new page.”

Another site I came upon, however, claimed a considerably more interesting — and far more whimsical — origin for the phrase. A friend of Oscar Wilde allegedly suggested that Wilde, a homosexual, change his ways and turn over a new leaf. But when the friend found Wilde having gay sex with a hotel bellboy, the friend said, “But Oscar, you said you would turn over a new leaf.”

Wilde is supposed to have replied, “Yes, but I haven’t yet gotten to the bottom of the page.”

Get it? The word “page” can be a synonym for “bellboy.” That Oscar Wilde…he sure was quite the wit.

But I digress. Over the years I have, upon occasion, turned over a new leaf, which I assure you has nothing to do with hotel bellboys.

Occasionally my new leaf was to change some behavior that I felt needed changing, like quitting smoking. Sometimes it involved taking a new job. Sometimes it was moving from one part of the country to another. When I retired last year, I considered that to be turning over a new leaf.

What about you? How many times have you turned over a new leaf?

Written for today’s one word prompt, “leaf.”