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My new novel, The Emperor’s Twin, releases today! Thank you so much to everybody who preordered, cannot wait for you to read it.
Link below for the hardcover and ebook — audio coming soon. All my love 🖤
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Honey
4,190 posts
Honey
@benegotherit
Writer, translator. Account not active, find me elsewhere 🖤
- Throwback to when my mother rescued an abandoned dog which had no idea what a house was or how to be in it
- Just saw a guy at a stop light in a yellow lambo, revving the engine like crazy. Thought to myself what a tit until I got to the other side and saw like six little kids going NUTS cheering for him and asking for louder
- I can’t believe he stopped for Starbucks. I do not want to know his identity but I am desperate to know his order
- In bathroom at casino, asked a lady in her 70s if she’d tie the bow around my waist. My god. One of your grandmothers snatched that thing so hard I grew an inch taller. I looked like a vertical hornet. Much to learn from women who grew up before we had rights
- Inconceivable horror descends from space and, through a series of terrifying manipulations of your own tiny world, manages to communicate that it thinks your hat’s shitA diver helps an octopus trade his plastic cup for a seashell
- Went to make morning coffee and some friends were still doing lines in my kitchen. They were trying to name every job you could have in the year 1700. It was delightful, like having ghosts
- This is the window. I have had the window on my computer for three days. I can change the window’s size and location but I cannot close or minimise the window. I restart, it returns. Does anybody recognise the window. Please come get your window
- In France for work. Obviously I knew there would be lots of people with dogs. What I was not prepared for is that the dogs seem aware they are French
- Was looking at a lifelong friend recently when I suddenly saw her as an adult woman. It was just a flicker, a glimpse of a stranger, and then she went back to herself. Strange, I hadn’t realised before that in my head we’re still children
- Friend is a masseuse. Her speakers broke so she told client she can’t play any music, jokingly offered to sing for him instead. He said, “Just whale song or something will be fine”. Omg. She made whale noises for a full 15 minutes before he got up and complained to her manager
- Husband and I were playing scrabble in a bar, upstate NY. Man looking over and starting conversation so we invite him to join. I played the word ‘MEAT’. He asks, “are bad words ok?”. We laugh, say yes. So he adds some letters to meat. Guys. I swear to god his word was ‘MEATCUNT’
- It did not occur to me that David Lynch could die, what a strange world we live in
- Don’t know whether or not plexiglass works for containing covid but I find it really fascinating that the cashier’s health did not even occur to the person who made this
