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John Mulaney
5,909 posts
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John Mulaney
@mulaney
⬇️ Get tickets for MISTER WHATEVER tour
johnmulaney.com
Joined September 2009
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1.2M
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  • user avatar
    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Nov 7, 2020
    ...And stay out!
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Jun 7, 2020
    Arrest the cops who killed #BreonnaTaylor
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Jul 3, 2018
    May you live a thousand years.
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Jun 5, 2020
    Did you ask him about NYPDs “Kettling” crowds of peaceful protesters into confined areas, waiting til curfew, and then arresting them and beating the shit out of them when they can’t disperse?
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    Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani
    @NYCMayor
    Jun 5, 2020
    Just got off the phone with @NYPDShea after seeing the troubling video of a delivery worker arrested by police while doing his job. This is NOT acceptable and must stop. Food delivery is essential work and is EXEMPTED from the curfew.
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Mar 23, 2020
    Caught ya
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Oct 25, 2020
    Three things define New York City: SNL, the Strokes, and Ed Koch. Koch is dead, so they got me. I am so goddamn excited. 4th time up. Wow and wow and wow
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Sep 3, 2018
    I’m out. I genuinely support public intellectual debate, and have paid to see people speak with whom I strongly disagree. But this isn’t James Baldwin vs William F Buckley. This is PT Barnum level horseshit. And it was announced on a weekend just before tix went on sale.
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    The New York Times
    @nytimes
    Sep 3, 2018
    Stephen Bannon will headline The New Yorker Festival, where he will be interviewed by David Remnick, the magazine's editor nyti.ms/2Q2FMom
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Nov 7, 2019
    I turned the volume all the way up but I think he says “what is John Mulaney?” Which is a good question.
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    00:00
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Sep 18, 2024
    This is the first I’m hearing of this.
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    3.6M
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Sep 14, 2020
    33 years later I still tie my shoes by making two loops.
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Jan 2, 2020
    “Little Women” is outstanding. My favorite of the year. The scene on the beach with the kites? Every shot is a 19th century masterwork painting. The story is familiar & stunning. Life is limitless before life takes over. The cast gets every award.@RealChalamet damn, you good
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Feb 18, 2019
    we switched clothes for the second show. Red Bank, NJ. Feb 17, 2019
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Feb 7, 2020
    “And you may ask yourself, ‘well...how did I get here?’” I cannot believe I am lucky enough to host SNL a third time, and that David Byrne will be there too. It’s mind boggling. Way too many dreams from 1990 are coming true. Man oh Man. This is a purely happy moment.
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    John Mulaney
    @mulaney
    Feb 18, 2019
    i just found a joke i wrote in April 2007: "I don’t know whats so unappealing about an uptight seventy five year old man trapped in the body of a 24 year old recovering drug addict and alcoholic, but I can’t seem to get past the second date. Maybe it’s my attitude."

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