SATURN LOVES TO RANT

Take me in my sleep, show me I can be a better man. Lord save me for I have sinned, Look at me fore what I've become. Reconstruct your values open up your eyes. Allow me to bleed out into to the earth and change along with the seasons. Let my body be in the snow and my soul rest below. Watch me lay see me go. Watch me change into the person you want. 

From a young age I was shown the truth of the world. Not a moment of shelter not a second to breathe. Mom and Dad are fucked up, Auntie and Uncle, Brother and Sister. I am too. 

Generational doom? Addiction — Illness — Bottles and finished cigarettes. Lovely disguised violence. Seemingly so little but just enough to slip through the cracks. The hurt on her face. The tiredness in his eyes. The person who brought thee struggling to hold on. 

Admiration — The pain seemed normal. You needed to feel it. Normal little girl in a big  world. Watching it pass by. — It's the way you must live your life. 

Early exposure? Neglect? Strong Influence? It seems to continue on. You aren't young anymore. You already know. Six years old or Sixteen makes no difference. The feeling is impending doom. Promise you'll never be like them. But you are. 

Ailment — Addiction — Bottles and finished cigarettes. Medication and Talks. "It'll never get better." Cursed family. We run the same life. We won't learn. I see him becoming like me. Broken the curse remains, I cannot save him, nor myself.

The words "runs in the family" have never been so true. You're ill, you're unsafe. You're free to do whatever you must do. What am I yapping about?

DISCLAIMER THIS IS ALL THEORY BY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- NONE OF THIS IS NESSACARILLY RELATED TO THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- But like that's kinda of the point of a concept album is to well have it have a set storyline --- but parts are up for interpretation.

SECONDARY DISCLAIMER --- I did skip quite a lot of songs on the album as some --- While yes, have a part to the story --- Don't have enough, and if I included them this would take like 30 years. So it's the songs with the most set-in-stone information. As the others are more up for interpretation. BUT ALL THE SONGS ARE STILL VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY!! This is just to help understand

LASTLY BEFORE CHECKING THIS OUT OR AFTER CHECK OUT THE ALBUM!!

DISCLAIMER THIS IS ALL THEORY BY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- NONE OF THIS IS NESSACARILLY RELATED TO THE ORIGINAL STORY OF THE CONCEPT ALBUM --- But like that's kinda of the point of a concept album is to well have it have a set storyline --- but parts are up for interpretation.  

SECONDARY DISCLAIMER --- I did skip quite a lot of songs on the album as some --- While yes, have a part to the story --- Don't have enough, and if I included them this would take like 30 years. So it's the songs with the most set-in-stone information. As the others are more up for interpretation. BUT ALL THE SONGS ARE STILL VERY IMPORTANT TO THE STORY!! This is just to help understand

I have been thinking about this for years lol, but recently for the 25-year anniversary they dropped a PROFESSIONAL FUCKING NOVEL ON IT!!! It's coming out this month I'm so excited to read it and see what the album's story really was in contrast to how I interpreted it!!

LASTLY BEFORE CHECKING THIS OUT OR AFTER CHECK OUT THE ALBUM!!

https://open.spotify.com/album/1QZi8laY96nhaeGSklvN4D?uid=5df8eb74f57bcfbdae5a&uri=spotify:track:77a7YkuBz7a5UiEhBMe1xp

HERE IS A LINK TO ONE THATS JUST THE SONGS MENTIONED IN THE ESSAY

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5vmuW3u04E4Tn0mESFFTQp?si=FYhNUHJYShuPldVbggJ9WQ

(NOTE THIS IS AN ONLINE DIidARY POST — VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED AS THERE CAN BE TRIGGERING SUBJECTS SPOKEN OF — YES THIS IS OVERSHARING, I DO NOT CARE — DO NOT LIKE DO NOT READ — THIS IS ALL BASICALLY TRANSCRIPTION OF MY BRAIN --- SOME OF THESE THINGS I POST ON TUMBLR AS WELL AND THEY GET IN HERE)

also the format of this may be fucked up depending on where its being viewed

------------- I AM BACK (on LiveJournal) -----------                                                                             

He wraps his arms around my waist keeping his gaze locked onto my eyes.

I press myself closer to him.

Arms around him, Staring right back.

Looking into his eyes. Everything around seems quiet and slow.

Shallow breaths.

Hold on tighter.

You know this is when you’ll meet your demise.

Embrace your death while holding onto a stranger.

Someone you’re intertwined with, in such little time.

A bond that couldn’t compare to any companionship.

No matter how long the time.

The urge to survive is gone. It's time to accept it.

Me and You at the end of things.

If you had asked me yesterday i’d say:

I’d say you were no one to me.

Now look, what are we?

This is real love, and I see it in your eyes.

We both can feel it.

Real love.

Not what they tell in tales.

Real love is death in the arms of a stranger.

Cause no matter how little you know of each other.

Trauma Brings Love Among Other Things.

No matter how strong a bond may be — You can never have your souls intertwined

Unless you’re like this.

To have lived together.

To have survived together.

To have lost and regained hope.

To have it all means almost nothing.

But to know it all had a reason.

So you can both feel it.

Real love.

(NOTE THIS IS AN ONLINE DIARY POST — VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED AS THERE CAN BE TRIGGERING SUBJECTS SPOKEN OF — YES THIS IS OVERSHARING, I DO NOT CARE — DO NOT LIKE DO NOT READ — THIS IS ALL BASICALLY TRANSCRIPTION OF MY BRAIN --- SOME OF THESE THINGS I POST ON TUMBLR AS WELL AND THEY GET IN HERE)

also the format of this may be fucked up depending on where its being veiwed

♫'Can we keep it together somehow? You know if I come around this way again. It's gonna be a surprise. She's putting lipstick on homeless boys in Korea Town. Driving angels down right now-'♫ — Get The Gang Together, Gerard Way.